Some Thoughts About LIfe

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

As we age it seems that the gates to eternity open too frequently. So many people have begun a different journey; a journey that does not include our participation but brings tears to our eyes and thoughts of our own mortality.

The difficulty in saying farewell leaves an ache that permeates our being. The absence can sometimes be daunting and we begin to question whether we did enough or said enough to really matter. People, in general, do not remember what we say, what we did, but they will always remember how you made them feel. I was reminded of this when I read the following story:

The Cab Ride
(Author unknown)

Twenty years ago, I drove a cab for a living. It was great being my own boss with no one to answer to. What I didn’t realize was that it was also a ministry. Because I drove the night shift, my cab became a moving confessional. Passengers climbed in, sat behind me in total anonymity, and told me about their lives. I encountered people whose lives amazed me, ennobled me, and made me laugh and weep.

But none touched me more than the woman I picked up late one August night.

I was responding to a call from a small brick fourplex in a quiet part of town. I assumed I was being sent to pick up some partiers, or someone who had just had a fight with a lover, or a worker heading to an early shift at some factory.

When I arrived at 2:30 a.m., the building was dark except for a single light in a ground floor window. Many drivers would probably just honk, wait a minute, and then drive away. But I had seen too many impoverished people who depended on taxis as their only means of transportation. Unless a situation smelled of danger, I always went to the door. Perhaps this person needed some assistance, I reasoned to myself. So I walked to the door and knocked.

“Just a minute,” answered a frail, elderly voice. After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 80s stood before me dragging a suit case, wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets. There were no clocks on the walls, any knickknacks or utensils on the counters. And in the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware.

“Would you carry my bag to the car?” she asked. I took the suitcase to the cab then returned to assist the woman. She kept thanking me for my kindness. “It’s nothing,” I replied. “I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother treated.” “Oh, you’re such a good boy,” she said. When we got in the cab, she gave me the address, and then asked, “Could you drive through downtown?” “It’s not the shortest way,” I answered. “Oh, I don’t mind,” she said. “I’m in no hurry. I’m on my way to a hospice.” I looked in the rearview mirror. Her eyes were glistening. “I don’t have any family left,” she continued. “The doctor says I don’t have very long.”

I quietly turned off the meter. “What route would you like me to take?” I asked.

For the next few hours we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked, the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds. She asked me to stop in front of a warehouse and told me that it once was a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl. Sometimes she would ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.

As the sun began to rise, she suddenly said, “I’m tired. Let’s go now.”

We drove in silence to the address she had given me. It was a convalescent home. Two orderlies came out and watching every move, they helped her. I guess they were expecting her.

I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already in a wheelchair. “How much do I owe you?” she asked, reaching into her purse. “Nothing,” I said. “You have to make a living,” she answered. “There are other passengers,” I responded. I bent down to give her a hug. She held onto me tightly. “You gave an old woman a little moment of joy,” she said. “Thank you.” I walked away. Behind me a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life.

All sorts of thoughts ran through my mind like, “What if someone didn’t take the time to be with her or drive her around or listen to her stories?” I don’t think I ever did anything more important in my life. We are conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments. But great moments often catch us unaware-beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.

The year 2011 is around the corner and with it the same troubles that were there just a short while ago. Will this year be different or will it be the same? The challenges are great, the effort seems futile. And then I remember a story titled, “The Cab Ride.”

Many such stories can be found in the journey we take but the important thing to remember is that our world is so fragile and we are so dependent on each other and are very important to each other. The rest seems so insignificant. Don’t you agree?

Understanding and Faith

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.


Around this time each year we agonize over Hanukkah and Christmas. The greatest anxiety deals with whether these are truly religious holidays or the invention of merchants designed to encourage us to spend – spend – spend. Our celebrations have become a test of commercial endurance.

Christians claim that Jesus is no longer the central thought of the holiday and Jews decry the importance given to Hanukkah because of its proximity to Christmas.

First, allow me to address the concerns of our Christian neighbors and friends: No one can take the significance of the holiday away from you – only you can do that. How much emphasis is put into the giving and receiving instead of the message was not invented by others. Some non-Christians even complain when someone says “Merry Christmas” to them, knowing full well that they don’t celebrate the holiday. I suggest that it is a greeting of happiness and expectation – the willingness to share their joy with others and is not intended to insult but rather include them in the spirit of grace and gratitude.

Second, the Jewish commemoration of Hanukkah has developed into a contest. Presents and decorations are the order of the day, not the significance of the first episode in recorded history where people fought for their religious freedom. The lights on the Menorah are to remind us of the light offered us by God to live in peace and share that moment of redemption so that others can be what they want, do what they want, pray as they want and believe as they want.

So each year the dilemma of the holidays especially in interfaith households dominates the need for identification. There is the desire to show sensitivity and respect but there is a strong feeling of emptiness because the true meaning of the holidays are lost in the tangled web of evenness. One holiday should not be celebrated more than the other so not to offend. The explanation to children becomes difficult because they seem to feel the tension and confusion.

Everyone forgets that there is a connection between the two holidays other than the time of the year. The relationship can be found in one word: Light.

Christmas is a time of lights whether on a tree or in the decorations or the luminaries found on walkways that are designed to lead Christians to the path of birth and redemption. Forget that this is the darkest time of the year so the lights are there to illuminate our path thus avoiding the dark places of despair. While that may sound good and perhaps was the original intent of the lights, it has come to signify more and we should all respect the need for spiritual guidance that the lights are designed to enhance.
Hanukkah too is a time of lights. We all know the story of the one cruise of oil found in the Temple in Jerusalem when the Maccabees defeated the Syrian-Greek army and rushed to cleanse the Temple of all the defilement. The Menorah which was the symbol of the eternalness of God because the flame was never extinguished and is replicated today by the Eternal Light found over the Ark of the Covenant containing the Holy Scriptures, the Torah, needed oil to burn. The Talmud tells us that there was only enough oil for one night and it took eight days to purify and produce the oil and miracle of miracles, it lasted the eight days until new oil could be manufactured.

It doesn’t matter whether you believe the story or even if it is true, what does matter is what the story signifies to us and to all humanity: that the light of truth and dignity and freedom cannot be extinguished as long as we believe in the sanctify of life.

The religious freedom that was won 2400 years ago has been the light for all generations whether it be a light in the sky signifying a birth or a light in a mind bringing the message of salvation or a light on a table allowing us to feel free to read what we wish and understand the wishes and dreams of others.

Many things have happened throughout the course of history that should not be repeated. Many things have also happened throughout history which do need repeating and are lost in the hate and bigotry that cause the lights to go out. This time of the year should remind us of the eternal struggle of good and evil. We visit our respective houses of worship and pray for goodness to survive, for evil to be eradicated.

The lights are there to remind us that God cannot do this for us. He is lighting the way for us to do these things for ourselves. This is the message of Christmas. This is the message of Hanukkah. We need to allow the lights of the season to guide us in the path of survival. We all need the light – we all need each other.

To my Christian friends, it is my pleasure to say to you – “Merry Christmas.” To each other, it is an honor to say – “Happy Hanukkah.” Our prayer should be whether Jew of Gentile, whether Christmas or Hanukkah celebrant, that we use the lights – the common lights – to teach us true brotherhood and friendship.

AMEN

You Just Don't Get It, Thomas L. Friedman

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.


In his column titled: “I believe I can fly,” (N.Y. Times, November 14, 2010) the predictable anti-Israel rhetoric remains strong and vibrant. It doesn’t matter that what he writes deals with today with no regard for yesterday. It doesn’t matter that what he suggests is rooted in disdain for a people and their ideals and ideas. It doesn’t matter that he places Israel at the top of his list of distortions neglecting the other more important aspects of human tragedies that are too numerous to mention. What matters to him is that Israel be singled out for public denunciation and disesteem.

He writes about the Prime Minister of Israel, referring to him as “Bibi, “a nickname given to him by friends, not using his formal name, Benjamin Netanyahu. If this does not smack of irreverence, I don’t know what does.

Once again the issue of “settlements” is raised and brought to the front of the issues facing Israel and its neighbors. We have President Obama to thank for that because until he made this a cause for condemnation, it never really was a true issue as it has become. How forgetful we conveniently become when all we have to look back and remember is that at each turn in the long struggle for survival new obstacles are put in the road. New speed bumps are added to the equation bringing us to the undeniable conclusion that accommodation is not the order of the day.

It is ironic that the liberal commentators and the liberal media, claiming to be impartial and unbiased, refuse to listen to their own distortions of truth and fabrications. Liberalism today does not allow for differing opinions. Their mantra has become ensconced in the dogmatic approach to subjects they hold dear.

There was a time when true discourse was part of the American political agenda. There were always extremists on both sides, but there was a respect that enabled people to bring to the forefront their vision of a world of common decency. From the very beginning of our existence as a nation we understood the value of opinions and how they can be instrumental in determining our future. But we also knew that when the dust settled the will of the majority prevailed.

No we see recriminations and distrust that permeate our thinking and attitudes.
We are no longer civil. We no longer continue life content that tomorrow may bring another set of standards. The system of government we designed gives us the opportunity to continue the debate because there are many sides to every discussion. And while we join together in adjusting to the order of things, we still have the ability to make changes through a process called elections.

Conservatives make their point and liberals argue just as forcefully. That is the American way. However, we have become a fragmented society with no room for give and take, no room for maneuvering or compromise. Government has become polarized to the extent that we shout at each other rather than taking a considerate approach.

All this leads me back to the original premise of this article: getting it wrong because of prejudice and bias; disseminating information that is slanted and perverted. Israel has become the Goliath of Biblical proportions. No matter its desire and need to live in peace with its neighbors. At every turn in its existence it has been singled out as a pariah. If only Israel would disappear all would be right with the world. Look at the list of accomplishments of the U.N: The single most discussed issue deals with Israel. On numerous occasions in its sixty-five year history, this body has condemned and demonized this tiny bastion of hope and redemption.

History is replete with lesson after lesson of futile attempts to annihilate Israel and yet we survive. Is there a message here? I believe so. And the lesson is simple and comes straight from Scripture: “Those who curse Israel will themselves be cursed, but those who bless Israel will receive the blessings they so richly deserve.” (Genesis, 12:1-3) And if Scripture is not sufficient to draw any conclusions then perhaps short walks down the lane of history will give you pause to reflect.

To begin, Israel is no saint among all the sinners. It has contributed its share of mistakes and will probably do so in the future. That is because we, like everyone else, are human with human frailties and human fallibilities. But the rest of the world has demonstrated this rush to judgment. The fact that these pronouncements are motivated by fear and intimidation and not by truth surely makes them exercises in futility. Truth is the one fabric in the weave of human existence that remains central to the salvation of civilized society. Without truth there can be no expectation of connection and survival.

Israel stands at the crossroads of civilizations quest for acceptance. It wants to be part of an ever shrinking world. Its citizens are primarily interested in surviving an onslaught of vilification from every corner of the globe. Our own country, which stood by it from the very beginning, seems to be joining in the chorus of damnation starting from the very top. It is not a comfortable situation because we know the value of the Jewish experience in America. We learned from hard work and perseverance that success is not to be taken for granted. We learned, only to well, the meaning of “There arose a Pharaoh who knew not Joseph.” (Exodus, 1:8)

It seems that at every chapter in our history as a people we had to justify our worth and demonstrate over and over again the contributions made to the societies in which we were sent and even fled. And here in the United States these advances only reinforced our belief in the goodness and justice we found and a feeling of gratitude owed for this benevolence.

When you look at the map of the world and focus on the middle-east there is a tiny country. And when you spell out its name it extends into the ocean because it is so small and the word Israel does not even fit in the space of its entity. This is the same country that Thomas L. Friedman considers a threat to all of us. This same country who, time and again, offered itself up for sacrifice all in the name of accommodation. This is the same country which endured untold hardships as it attempted to find its place in the deliberations of human survival. This is the same country that extends its hand only to have it slapped because it shouldn’t be here at all. This is the same country that has fought valiantly to maintain its identity not only as a nation born out of the ashes of despair to realize its true redemption. This is the same country that has offered its scientists and technicians and humanitarians for the betterment of humankind through its research and development from irrigation to medicine and mathematics and literature and the arts.

So, Mr. Friedman, and all and whomever you represent, I suggest that you look to history to understand what you have described as a fantasy waiting for the impossible. In your zeal to make sense of the insensitivity that surrounds this tiny bastion of democracy and freedom and acceptance of all, you have neglected to remember from whence we came and how the world makes little effort to hide the contempt. Could it be that we don’t want to face the truth and realize that without Israel there is no future for anyone?

We are a people who believe that “pigs can fly.” We are pragmatists who understand that they can if you put wings on them. Yes, I believe we too can fly – that is who we are – that is what we represent – that is what makes us survivors regardless of your desire for us not to. Perhaps that is why we are at the top of your list.

You just don’t get it and it’s a guarantee that you never will.

A Debt That Cannot Be Repaid

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

On July 4th, the anniversary of America’s freedom from tyranny, I glanced at the cover of the New York Times. There I saw a picture of a soldier who had lost all his limbs in combat. The caption read: “No less of a person.” I was so moved by the picture and the thought because it brought to the forefront the realization that war is hell! No question about it.

Each generation has had battles to fight whether on the field or in the trenches. Our generation is no different. And yet we are different because the conventional waging of war is not the norm today. Today we face enemies from within and without who wear no uniform, understand no discipline and follow no prescribed tables of battle plans or methods taught in the colleges of war.

Most wars are fought because of economics. Today’s wars are waged by zealots who’s only purpose is to create havoc while randomly murdering innocent people. The ultimate goal is to subjugate and dominate, we are told, because of ideological differences and religious intolerance.

I looked at the picture over and over again. The pain on the soldier’s face was evident. I wondered, “Was it the pain of his agony or the pain of his sacrifice?” Perhaps it was the pain of trying to understand and make sense of his offering. I thought of all the men and women serving our country that have made similar commitments of body and mind and tried to imagine how I would feel or what I would be thinking as I suffered through the ordeal.

None of us who are whole can truly understand the torment of living a different life that now requires constant care and help. The agony of not being able to wash or dress or walk or catch a ball; the anguish of realizing that there will longer be normal relationship with a loved one or a partner; the constant reminder that life consists of looking at a ceiling, or just reading a book or watching television, all come into play in the afflicted existence of a person who was once whole and vibrant.

Dr. Louis L. Mann, Rabbi of Sinai Congregation in Chicago, wrote two interesting observations that I believe speak to the problems facing the men and women who serve in the military today and have experienced untold horrors on the field of battle.

The first: “Only eyes washed by tears can see clearly.” There is no doubt that there have been nights and days when all seemed lost and the future looked even dimmer. Waking each day to the realization that what once was is no more. Gazing at the emptiness that once filled sleeves and pant-legs can be daunting.

The second: “What happens to a man is less significant than what happens within him.”
And here is the crux of the internal struggle that accompanies the loss of limbs. We all know that there are ghost pains – limbs that are no longer there seem to be calling out, looking at the void and wondering about the touching and feeling that gave it life and fulfillment. Where are the legs that once took us to places we can longer remember?

At a recent meeting of a veterans organization I listened to an Iraqi War veteran tell about his experiences and the marvel of science and how it put him back together. He lost a limb and one eye and modern medicine created a limb and a bionic eye. If he had not told us, we would never have believed. And as he displayed these wonders we sat in amazement and awe.

Then he made a startling pronouncement that the government, our government, which sent him into battle, refuses to help others with these miracles because it was too costly. Everyone in the room was shocked to learn that there are funds for everything but not to make people whole again.

We read about saving financial institutions and helping industrial giants regain their significance in our economic downturn. We watch, on TV, the millions of dollars spent in faraway places to bolster corrupt regimes. We discourage democracies by touting demagogues who want nothing more than to see us destroyed. We do all this but cannot find the will or the resources to do what we can to give meaning to lives that have been shattered by war.

These men and women serve our country because they want to, not because we demand it of them. We no longer have a draft system where we indiscriminately take men and women from their daily exercise and throw them into some makeshift environment and take time, their time, from them. All the more reason we need to acknowledge the debt owed.

Every day the newspapers relate stories of depression and homelessness. Veterans who gave their all are now living on the street and cannot receive the help they need and deserve. Where is our humanity for them? When there is a flood somewhere in the world, or an earthquake in a distant land, we load planes and send aid and help those looking for assistance. And we do this as a caring nation of people who understand what it means to have and not share. We do all this, and it is right and as it should be.

What happened to the compassion for us right here at home? Where is the connection to the people of Louisiana or Mississippi or Georgia as they struggle to clean their shores of contamination? Why don’t we feel the pain of struggling families who lost their homes or jobs? And where, Oh where, is our desire to pay the debt we owe those who serve our country by wearing its uniform with courage and distinction?

This country is involved in a great struggle. There is an enemy we cannot know or understand because there is no logic to their destructive behavior other than to dominate and control the very essence of our individuality. And it is a different world with senseless killing and unnecessary dying, scary and intimidating. But each instance has produced it share of volunteers and patriots and heroes. I would imagine the generations that fought in previous wars felt the same apprehension and fright; whether it was the Revolutionary War or the War to End All Wars.

We volunteered because we were motivated by love of country and understood the value of freedom. Each generation packaged the gift of freedom because the gravest error that can be made is to take freedom for granted. Each generation knew that it was their determination and fortitude that would protect it and guard it for the next generation and the next.

Not everyone is motivated by love of country. Most, however, answered the call to duty. In times past we would romanticize war until we were faced with the reality of it and all its horrors. There are graves, millions of them, on what was once, blood soaked ground and each marker indicates that there once stood a person who lived and died. That was then. What about now?

Now we, from the comfort of our homes, can watch the slaughter. We erect monuments and arrange parades and pin medals. Everyone seems to be an expert about yesterday. But through it all we still send our men and women to war because it is the only way humans have of protecting life and limb. We have not found the secret to survival through discourse.

This soldier who lost his limbs is truly “no less of a person” and we owe a debt that can never be repaid. He represents all that is good in us and all that is bad as well. The goodness is the sacrifice we are willing to make to protect, defend and preserve a dream that began 234 years ago and resonates today even more. The goodness can be found in the millions who serve, who give of themselves so that we can enjoy the beauty of freedom and the values established by a few for so many.

The bad is displayed by our indifference and the lack of respect we display by ignoring the traumas of these dedicated individuals. The bad can be found in our neglect of the homeless veterans and the disgrace in not giving them the proper care and attention because it “costs too much.”

Perhaps one day we will wake-up to our responsibilities. In the meantime all we can do is pray that those in harm’s way will find their way back home in peace and whole. In the meantime we should never lose sight of their sacrifice for honor and country. In the meantime we all pray that God will watch over them as we look with pride on their achievements understanding full well that the debt we owe can never be repaid, but we never stop trying.

System Maintenance Test

System Maintenance Test

God's Personal Involvement

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

(This is a sermon I delivered honoring our volunteers. I am sure most can relate to these words and I offer them to encourage praticipation by all in our desire to extend a helping-hand to those needing that special feeling of connection.)

Numerous times I am asked why in Biblical text God seems to be personally involved in our daily lives. And now He seems to be so remote? Chapter after chapter in the Torah and in the Prophets and in the Writings (the Talmud and other rabbinic texts) God appears in concrete ways.

For example: When the Patriarchs are developing and fine-tuning their understanding of God there are conversations that take place one-on-one. When the Israelites are enslaved for over 200 years God appears to Moses and urges him to partner with Him in the redemption that is about to take place.

The Prophets have discourse with God, receive messages and transmit them to the people; the first kings, Saul, David, and Solomon have direct involvement and even create sonnets and poems and messages that transcend time and are with us to this day. What makes us any different from our ancestors? Why is it we don’t seem to be able to have direct contact with God? Has something gone wrong with the system?

So I search for answers, as I am sure many of you do, especially when some issue arises that creates in us a need for that spiritual connection. Most often these occasions are sad in nature because it is rare that we take the time to offer our gratitude for the good things that are part of our lives.

Consider this: When we decide to begin a family, we make all kinds of plans. They might include names that we have dreamt of or perhaps how they will be raised, or even the schools they may attend. And. Of course, we always think that we are going to be different parents than our parents were. We won’t make the same mistakes.

Then the day arrives. We are so excited. We start to nurture and are as attentive as we possibly can be. We teach them to crawl, to walk, to talk. Each step of the way we are there to encourage and “kvel.”

Finally the day arrives when they look you in the eye and say goodbye. They are off to find their fortune, to make their place in the world, to find someone to share the next phase in their journey toward total independence.

No longer are they asking and seeking, inquiring and arguing. No longer do they need us to prop them up when they falter or shore them up when they fail. No longer are they daddy’s little girl or mommies “shayna punim.” Where have the years gone? Where is the toothless face that looks at us and wonders why we are so big and they are so small? Where is the bruised knee or the climbing on the sofa to sit on our lap?

Yes, our child has grown-up.

Now, transfer that thought to a God who created us, nurtured us, taught us to fend for ourselves, even talked to us in ways that we can’t even begin to imagine. God started us on our journey with a garden filled with delights for the sight and the senses. God then said to us that it was time to move-on, stand on our own two feet.

God was there to direct us and guide us. God gave us laws and instructions that were intended to bring us closer to ourselves so that we could make-it. No longer was God there to tuck us in, to tell us stories, to wipe our tears. Now we had to learn for ourselves how to survive, not totally alone, but as independent free thinkers with choices to make.

All this leads us to another question:: Why pray? If God is remote, no longer part of our daily lives, why bother? The truth is that God is here in two ways: First and foremost, when we pray we are having a direct conversation with God and the answer to our prayers may not seem so apparent, but there are answers to prayers. We see it daily with things that happen that affect our lives in profound ways. We see them answered in birth, and recovery from illness and comfort during times of distress. Second, and just as important, we see it in each other when we extend ourselves. We volunteer for all types of activities that are designed to bring aid and comfort to those in need. Some volunteer with resources, some with time and some with encouragement for others because of time constraints or infirmities that prevent us from being actively involved.

This is God working through us. This is God talking through us. This is God personally involved through us. That is called partnership and is what God intended from the very beginning. We honor this evening all those who do God’s work. Because as the saying goes: God can’t be everywhere at every moment, so He created volunteers.

We are a very fortunate congregation. Not only do we show love and affection by our caring, but we put into action those attributes that make us responsive to everyone who is in need for that extra tender touch, that extra tender smile, that extra attentive ear.

Early 18th century poet and Kabbalist, Moses Lazzatto wrote that the habit of loving-kindness is an ingredient of saintliness. The Hebrew word for saintliness comes from the same base word that implies kindness. Conducting oneself with loving kindness toward others is one of the three foundations wherein the world, according to our Sages, is premised.

How fortunate we are. Thank you to all who serve. God continue to bless you and the works you perform. God continue to bless us, the beneficiaries of that service. Blessed be God who is continually involved with us personally and collectively.

A Beginning With No End

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

Each year we begin the reading of the Torah all over again. The lesson is quite simple: There is no end to learning. We think, as we read, that having read it before we cannot learn anything new and then a new thought, a new understanding of the same sentence enables us to forge a new concept or idea. Isn’t that what learning is all about?

In the first Book of the Torah we begin to realize the depth of experiences during our lifetime. We journey from Creation to destruction and then creation again. God talks and the world comes into being. God regrets and the world descends once more into the same abyss that was there at the very start of this encounter with time.

Noah is left to carry-on so that this beginning will result in a different future. No longer are we innocent strays wandering aimlessly with no purpose or meaning. The master plan is taking shape as directed by the Master builder.

Imperfections exist in the human story. We are told of these failings because life is not perfect and our partnership with the Creator is the eternal quest for perfection. Perhaps it is an unattainable goal, but it is part of our pursuit for connection.

We float to Abraham who, with all his shortcomings is determined to maintain that bridge to eternal salvation through a chain of events that result in the creation of a ladder of evolving climbing to greater heights filled with awe and fulfillment.

The chain of tradition remains the link of all the generations that will follow until this very day.

The first story of humanities formation and existence teaches us very valuable lessons: We are born, we live, we laugh, we cry, we die, and then we are re-born because as Creation teaches us, this is an evolutionary process that, like learning, has no end, just a continuing journey.

If we take anything away from the lessons of these chapters it is that we know where we came from, we know where we have been and perhaps, if we are lucky enough, we will learn where we are going. But through it all we need to remember that we are human and as such there are trials and tribulations that go with that understanding.

And just as we are born, we are born with instincts that sometimes make no sense; we live with frailties and infirmities; we laugh when, sometimes, nothing makes sense; we cry uncontrollably when we lose someone we love or something precious has been taken from us; we die, because all things die and we are not picked for this in answer to some mistaken belief that we were destined for punishment; we are re-born as a testament to the eternalness of Creation.

Perhaps the next time we read the beginning of everything we will remember that this is but one way to comprehending our purpose and meaning. If you think of more, then you have accomplished the ultimate learning example.

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

Relationships

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.


Sometimes we take relationships for granted. We assume that people will react as we do to situations that require compassion and understanding. And then we see, all too often, the disregard for feelings and the contempt that develops because of familiarity.

Such is the ultimate fate of getting involved with people. We are born to be together and yet, we find it difficult at times to maintain closeness. We discard as fast as we accumulate. The friend of today will probably not be the friend of tomorrow. How sad when you think of all the effort that is involved in cultivating relationships and maintaining them.

Sometimes we think that one feeling or sentiment fits all. But we know this to be untrue. Moses Mendelssohn, the German-Jewish philosopher of the eighteenth century wrote: “If we are seeking to be genuinely sympathetic to others, then we must not think one emotional blanket will cover all when God by design and act shows sympathy for each of us as individuals.” His philosophical teachings took Jews into the Renaissance with a feeling of connection and purpose.

A recent movie entitled “Toy Story 3” gives the perfect example of how we sometimes take things seriously and when we are finished we just abandon any feeling of connection. In the movie there are toys that were part of a boy’s development and growth. He played with them throughout his youth and then when he was ready to move-on, to go to the next-step in his maturity, he puts them in a chest and doesn’t think about them again. That is, until he gets ready to go off to school.

He begins to clear his room of all his boyhood memories and comes across these toys that brought him so much joy. Eventually he decides to place all but one in the attic and that one special toy he wants to bring to school as a reminder of those happy moments.

The story is quite amazing because it gives us insight into our own relationships with friends and family. Most of us have had childhood friends that matured with us. Some have had very good friends or best friends and as the years progressed, so did we and those friends, are for the most part, not involved in our lives anymore. It’s not that we don’t have fond recollections, but rather we have moved-on and they don’t seem to be necessary anymore.

Some, I am sure, still have childhood friends that are still here with us in our more maturing age. These are rare. Our society is so mobile. Once we lived within a stone’s throw of each other, now find ourselves in different corners of the country and even the world. So we engage new friends and new acquaintances. However, there is always something happening that reminds us of that special girl or that special boy. It could be a smile or an experience or a location and there it is – a reminder of those pleasant times, or maybe not so pleasant times, when we were in school or on a first date.

Eventually these memories are relegated to the chest of remembrances to be opened occasionally when we go to attic or the basement or the storage closet. The albums come out, the pictures are there to constantly bring to mind the times of pimples or bobby sox or peg pants or slick hair gel that brought your hair back to a meeting place at the back of your head. You remember hair?

The story reminds us that today we still do the same things. We may not have the same friends but the new ones come and go faster than we would like. As we get older it is harder to make friends and even harder to keep them. We have family that occupy our time even more because they are growing and increasing so we need to find the energy to keep up with it all. It is daunting, to say the last.

On top of all that we have friends and neighbors who need us as we need them. It is especially true for those who live far from family. No longer are we just around the corner or upstairs or next door. Once we took a few steps and we were connected, and now we have to travel great distances. And it seems that this great family experience is an effort more for them more than for us. After all, we are two and they are many.

Now we are witnessing a different dynamic. Our families are no longer an integral part of our daily lives and the friends we once shared all our deepest most intimate thoughts are memories never to be repeated. We don’t keep in touch nor do we make any serious attempt to re-connect. We discard old reminiscences as though they no longer matter and forget the significance of these past relationships.

Today’s cliques are born out of yesterdays remnants. We tend to forget as the Yiddish folk saying goes: “Those who think they can live without others are wrong. But those who think that others cannot survive without them are even more in error.” Friendships are created and nurtured with effort and action, not by accident.

The past teaches us that friendships come and go because we neglect to continue showing the ability to forgive as well as the necessity for respect. The Ethics of the Fathers, the writings of the Sages, instructs us by asking simple questions: “Who is wise? Those who can learn from everyone. Who is strong? Those who can control their passions. Who is honored? Those who honor others.” This is the essence of true and lasting friendships.

In a New Year, perhaps, we should remember our past encounters as a lesson in understanding ourselves and in so doing our expectation of friends will not cause friction but rather connection We need to be reminded of something Cynthia Ozick, the American writer, wrote in the early 20th century: “When something does not insist on being noticed, when we aren’t grabbed by the collar or struck on the skull by a presence or an event, we take for granted the very things that most deserve or gratitude.”

What better way to celebrate a New Year than to be grateful for each other; to appreciate each other; to be respectful of each other, and to love each other as we would want to be loved.

Choices

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

Sometimes when things do not seem to go according to our wishes or desires we tend to say that it is “besheirt” – it was destined to be. It is a simple way of explaining the unexplainable. After-all we are not built to delve too deeply into things that seem to make no sense. It is a defense mechanism that gives us the ability to cope.

And yet, when the dust settles, there is a frustration that leaves us even more puzzled about life and its many experiences. It is frustrating because we are taught that we have the ability to choose the path we take with many of the decisions we make. Do we go to the left or to the right? Do we accept one answer without looking for another? Are we satisfied that our choices are motivated by fact and not fantasy? All these come into play when deciding our journey through the adventures of life.

Even the venerated Sage, Rabbi Akiba pronounced that everything is foreseen, yet freedom of choice is given. On the surface this would seem to be contradictory. But think about it. We are faced with choices every day. Some choices are simple such as what to wear or what to eat. And then there are choices that can be mind boggling such as to love and be loved and by whom or to go to war or make peace. In the end what we decide can be construed as being pre-ordained. No matter what choice we make, as Shakespeare said,”it is written in the stars.”

Here is where the test of faith and understanding takes root. How can we, on the one hand, be free to choose our destiny, and on the other, be told that the exercise is futile? Why? Because we are also taught that the fate of man is self-determining. And we also know that we are responsible for our choices, right or wrong. We are answerable for choices even though, in some instances, we were forced into them.

I recently watched an old movie. It was 1950’s vintage and concentrated on the “lost war” – the “Korean Conflict,” as it was also called. The subject-matter dealt with the horror of imprisonment by the enemy and the torture that was endured, both physical and mental.

The ranking officer, in this particular prison environment, was a major who, it was thought, became a traitor and even gave support to the enemy. Eventually when the war had ended he and his men were returned and he then faced court martial charges of treason as well as the responsibility for the death of two of his subordinates.

It was an imposing movie because the major offered no explanation and even refused to defend himself. One by one his men gave testimony supporting the charges. I will not go into the details other than to state that it was clear to me that sometimes we make choices that are difficult to accept and perhaps even more difficult for others to understand.

I doubt even God would have known what this man would do or for that matter what we would do. We all have differing degrees of conscience. What can break one person would not necessarily break another. Sometimes, in fact, we find that we can muster the courage to do things we never thought we were capable of.

At the end of the movie we are told, in the most compelling display of emotion and contrition, that his choice to give aid and comfort to the enemy was dictated by his desire to keep his men alive. These lives were threatened daily and the enemy commander made it perfectly clear that if he did not agree to deliver the messages and make an attempt to indoctrinate his men, that he would be made to watch each one die in front of him and they would also be forced to watch. What would you do?

All of us can sit back and follow this unimaginable ordeal unfold and offer different opinions, but in the end, it really doesn’t matter because we can never know for sure what our choice would be and if we could live with the choice.

Here we are at a crucial juncture in our lives. The Gates of life are open and we have the opportunity to walk through. But it is not that simple. The Gate is within our each and yet seems to be unreachable. The year is ending, and a new one is beginning. What kind of a year has it been? Sure it was filled with happy times and memorable occasions but it was also filled with disappointments and frustrations.

There was illness and recovery. Perhaps we lost someone we loved or just casually knew. Could it be that we offended someone and now seek forgiveness? Did we not care enough and now regret that action and seek to recapture the feeling of connection? In all these instances we faced choices and we made some good ones and some bad ones.

Here and now we have the ability to take that step that will bring us closer to the Gate and even garner the strength to make-it through. It is within our grasp.. It requires our ability to remove the shackles of hate and indifference. We need to determine that it is necessary for us to move forward enabling us to begin a new chapter that is void of unnecessary impulses that undermine our ability to love and be loved.

The Gate swings two ways – outward, allowing us to be part of a greater experience and fulfillment – and inward, allowing us to enter and be accepted by God as we attempt to accept God. This is why we listen to the prayers that have been recited from time immemorial: To enable us to reach a level of spiritual involvement that will give us the ability to be refreshed and complete. And we are compelled to keep the connection alive that has sustained us as for four-thousand years. This is no small accomplishment.

Yes, we all have choices in life. God is not waiting for us to make the choice that is already written but rather to erase the past and write a new chapter. God waits for us to make choices because that is what is pre-ordained – the ability to make choices. Adam and Eve had a choice and they chose to be able to make choices. This is the beauty of not sitting back and waiting for things to happen – nothing is “besheirt.” Isn’t it why pencils come with erasers?

What is our choice as we welcome in a New Year? To live!

Miracle In the Rain

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

I borrowed this title from a movie I saw recently, vintage 1956, starring Jane Wyman and Van Johnson. It was both moving and heart wrenching. It was nostalgic and timely. It was all these things and more.

The saying goes that art imitates life and that is true in most instances. One thing is for sure, movies can make you feel glad and at the same time make you feel sad. It is like life. We have moments of ecstasy and in an instant we can become despondent. We are designed to withstand euphoria and disappointment; it’s built into the system. Sometimes, however, the system breaks down and we can’t discern one from the other.

The one emotion that can carry us through dark days and help us rejoice when there is light is called love. It works in mysterious ways. Our hearts can be filled with unimaginable happiness. When we love someone and are loved in return we enter into the realm of divine fulfillment.

But then the worst happens and we lose someone we love and that hurt is too much to bear. We try to reach for some magical occurrence that will bring back our love so that the hurt will go away and our feelings of happiness return. We remember the bliss of an embrace, the thrill of a kiss, the orgasmic expression of love’s completion, the birth of a child.

The days and nights are empty now. The touching and reaching are beyond our grasp. The marvel of a smile or a gleam in an eye seems so distant as if they never really were there at all. It is such a lonely sensation. Tears, like falling rain fill our eyes and roll down our cheeks. Sometimes we cry uncontrollably and our body trembles. It is so awful. We are so desolate.

The respected poet-philosopher, Noah ben Shea tells the following story:

Once there was a student who was with a teacher for many years. And when the teacher felt he was going to die, he wanted to make even his death a lesson.

That night, the teacher took a torch, called his student, and set off with him through the forest.

Soon they reached the middle of the woods, where the teacher extinguished the torch, without explanation.

“What is the matter?” asked the student.
“This torch has gone out,” the teacher answered and walked on.
“But,” shouted the student, his voice plucking his fear, “will you leave me here in the dark?”

“No! I will not leave you in the dark,” returned the teacher’s voice from the surrounding blackness. “I will leave you searching for the light.”

Such is the path we should take when we lose a loved one. During their lifetime they gave us light, the light of hope and completion. They lit our path so that we could experience fulfillment. And when that light is extinguished, it is not really gone because the flame that burned our passion is now embedded in our heart for all time. That is called memory.

Memory will not replace the intensity of the joy but it will enable us to embrace the very depth of understanding and realization that without the love that was shared there can be no memory and memory guarantees immortality. Memory is the next step in the thrillful journey of life.

Sorrow is the rain and the drops remind us of the tears we shed and the miracle is that our affliction will be washed away together with the sadness allowing us to begin a new day filled with sunshine and a life yet to be lived. This is the legacy that was left to us and we leave others: That the next generation and the next will be able to share what we had and make it into what they now have.

To have loved and to be loved is a miracle whether in the rain or in the clear skies that dry up our tears. We must continue because that is the true miracle of life.

I Believe

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.


Many times I hear from different people with different attitudes and histories indicating that it is not necessary to do many things that are expected regarding faith observance because all that is needed is to believe.

“I believe in God, what more is needed?” “I am a good person, isn’t that enough?” Both questions sound logical on the surface but actually difficult to answer. We observe different customs because of background or location and then change them to fit our present requirements. Some enhance those traditions by strict observance and some dilute them by saying that they are old fashioned and hold no relevance in today’s world.

We even excuse the lack of response by finding excuses such as,”The laws of Kashrut were originated for health and cleanliness. Now that we have refrigeration and health inspections, etc. it is no longer necessary.” That’s just one example. There are many more.

I am reminded about a man who lived in the 12th century. He was called The Rambam, an acronym for his real name, Rabbi Moshe Ben Maimon. He was better known as Maimonides. He was a physician, philosopher and rabbi. His feats were many, primarily in the field of medicine and Torah. In fact some of his medical pronouncements are still used today. He promoted and developed philosophical traditions of Aristotle. Albert the Great and Thomas Aquinas were among the notables of Western readers of the Rambam. There was an equal legion of Torah scholars who embraced his writings on Talmud and explanations of Scripture.

Because of his worldly appeal and his love of philosophy he was criticized by his peers and even threatened with ex-communication. He sat down, and among his most notable writings we find the Thirteen Principles of Faith. It is a digest of all the laws of Judaism and their significance to human values and our relationship to God.

These principles are repeated time and again in many different ways. You can find them in song and prayers and poems. They are repeated on the lips of the devout as well as the martyrs who sacrificed their lives for the sake of their faith.

1. I believe with perfect faith that God is the Creator and Ruler of all things. He alone has made, does make, and will make all things.
2. I believe with perfect faith that God is One. There is no unity that is in any way like His. He alone is our God He was, He is, and He will be.
3. I believe with perfect faith that God does not have a body; physical concepts do not apply to Him. There is nothing whatsoever that resembles Him at all.
4. I believe with perfect faith that God is first and last.
5. I believe with perfect faith that it is only proper to pray to God. One may not pray to anyone or anything else.
6. I believe with perfect faith that all the words of the Prophets are true.
7. I believe with perfect faith that the prophecy of Moses is absolutely true. He was the chief of all prophets, both before and after him.
8. I believe with perfect faith that the entire Torah that we now have is that which was given to Moses.
9. I believe with perfect faith that this Torah will not be changed, and that there will never be another given by God.
10. I believe with perfect faith that God knows all of man’s deeds and thoughts. It is thus written (Psalm 33:15), “He has molded every heart together. He understands what each one does.”
11. I believe with perfect faith that God rewards those who keep His commandments, and punishes those who transgress them.
12. I believe with perfect faith in the coming of the Messiah. How long it takes, I will wait His coming every day.
13. I believe with perfect faith that the dead will be brought back to life when God wills it to happen.

There are many who will dispute some of these beliefs because they seem foreign in today’s understanding of God and religion. As time progresses so does our thinking and our understanding of life and its origins and its finality.

Each generation goes through its battles with beliefs. Each generation has its standards of these beliefs. Each generation goes through adjustments of thought. And each generation proclaims its commitment in ways that may seem strange to generations past and even stranger to the generations that will follow.

This does not mean that each was right or wrong. What it does mean that just as we have alternative concepts of God we alter the traditions to fit those notions. God gave us the ability to think and choose. That is why change is not a repudiation of the past but rather an enhancement. We could not have modern ideas if they were not preceded by ancient heritages.

We began communicating with each other with fire followed by drums succeeded by wireless and then came the telephone and cell phones and computers and who knows what will follow. Does that make fire less important? NO, because we have found a way to harness that flame to create warmth for comfort and enjoyment. We just moved forward with the help of what was.

So saying, “I believe in God” is not as bad as it sounds as long as it is accompanied by further clarification through word and deed. We all can’t be as firm in our faith as Maimonides and we all can’t sit down and write thirteen principles of faith. It is important to remember that we come together as we do for prayer and meditation to proclaim some belief because we know that without faith there can be no future.
Faith is just not belief in God. Faith is also confidence in ourselves. Faith is loyalty to family. Faith is being in love. Faith is all these things and more. We round it out with an expectation of a benevolence that we understand to be God.

If we all knew the true essence of God what would we be? Part of the mystery of life is the mystery of our birth and the mystery of our continuation after death. Faith is trust. The Hebrew word Shechina indicates a “presence or manifestation” and allows us to imagine the meaning of God without really knowing the reality of God because we can never really know God. This is the beauty of faith: The imagination of magnificence.

Maimonides searched for this reality and came to his conclusions after a life time of learning and teaching and applying his craft as given to him by God. We may not be as extensive in our search but we know that each of us has the ability to reach heights that seem unreachable because of two simple words: “I believe.”

A Calling

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

Sometimes when we talk about people choosing faith-based involvement, it is referred to as “a calling.” The term is used to describe the realization that clergy or those in supportive roles are “called” to duty for the purpose of serving God. It is a true reflection of the spiritual aspect of a person’s life incorporating preaching and teaching and personal fulfillment. We are all familiar with the expression “the spirit moves me” and it is that feeling which permeates our lives as we endeavor to express the meaning of faith and its significance.

There are, of course, exceptions. We read about them almost daily. There are those who subvert the very essence of that calling. While it is difficult for us to judge, it is our responsibility to be aware of human fallibility. Certainly not all are guilty and we should not lose faith in our beliefs. On the contrary, we should use this abhorrent behavior to teach us a valuable lesson: Sometimes people are drawn to things that set bad examples, which destroy our spirituality.

The newspapers are filled with the turmoil within the Catholic Church. Needless to say Catholic clergy are not alone is the desecration of human values and moral teachings as described in all Holy writings. And excusing these horrors because of the understanding of human fragilities is unacceptable. There is no excuse. Those who are guilty of these atrocities should be held accountable and punished. Those who protect them should also be put-up for justice because they are as guilty as those who perpetrate these unforgiving abuses against children.

Singling out unsuspecting children is revolting and everyone involved should be punished to the full extent of the law. And there is a higher law that will eventually come into play as time moves on and a different calling requires these people to answer that call for eternal judgment.

However, there are times when mob madness causes untold hardships on unsuspecting adults who get caught-up in this web of disgust and revulsion.

In our own Phoenix Jewish community we have seen this happen. A rabbi is shackled and carted off from the parking lot of his synagogue in front of his wife and others who were there at the time. No warning, no arrest warrant, no identification of those involved. A gun shoved in his face and off he disappears. No knowledge of where he is going or why.

There was a meeting a while ago, in Chandler for invited guests, mostly congregants, and others who were supportive from the very beginning, including me, of this rabbi. An accusation was made by a seventeen-year old teen ager claiming that this rabbi sexually abused her when she was seven-years old. That was ten-years ago.

I am sure all of us living here in the Valley of the Sun read bits and pieces of the experience encountered by the rabbi and his family.

The meeting was necessary, from my perspective, because it gave those in attendance the opportunity to talk to the rabbi and his attorney and hear, as well, from his wife. The summary of his experience would certainly be a best seller in store-bought dime novels. It had chilling aspects, sexual innuendos and intrigue.

One thing that stood-out, in my mind, was the fact, brought out at the meeting, that there was a strong indication that the therapist who was treating this troubled child, may have planted ideas and thoughts in her mind that eventually became, to her, reality. Is it unimaginable? Not really.

We read constantly about situations surfacing and, in fact, there was a very similar incident portrayed on one of the Law and Order programs on television. Books have been written on this subject and classes are given to therapists warning them of the dangers of planting such fabrications into unsuspecting minds. I really don’t know if this is what happened, but the possibility was brought-out in the presentation.

Nothing was done about this supposed incident even though it was reported some two years ago. Evidently it was thought at the time to be unsubstantiated and therefore did not warrant any further participation by the police.

I believe that the notoriety about clergy abuse of children, especially sexual abuse, has created an atmosphere of suspicion and doubt and the only way to alleviate this corruption is to find everyone guilty whether true of not.

Perhaps the police were diligent and perhaps they were not. It is clear to me that this overextending of authority and disregard for facts and circumstance will have a devastating effect on this family for all time. I also believe that he will be completely vindicated but that will not change the attitude of people who will remember the charge but not the exoneration.

In fact, now his congregation has seen fit to request his resignation even though no trial has been held or additional evidence submitted that refutes his claim of innocence. And what happened to “innocent until proven guilty?” I even wonder whether he is receiving any support from the Conservative movement of which he is a member as well as the Jewish Theological Seminary of which he is a graduate.

The clergy who are guilty of undermining the values of Godliness and the sanctity of life have cause damage to the “calling” we have answered and the dedication of so many in the cause of human salvation. These same clergy have created an atmosphere of distrust and suspicion that spills over into the lives of innocent people who want nothing more that answer that call and be true to its message of connection to each other and to God who made the call and witnessed the call being answered.

We must pray that sanity will prevail and our rabbi will be ready, willing, and able to answer that call once more secure in the knowledge that his destiny will forever be joined with our Creator who gave him the will and the understanding to teach and preach and remain a light unto his people.

Age and Indifference

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.


As we get older we start to think about yesterday and maybe yesterday’s yesterday. In fact our thoughts always focus on what was and not what is. That is, until something happens that makes us realize that today is here, the today that we dreamed about yesterday and maybe even dreaded.

We all have dreams. Some of us dream about what was instead of what is. We do this because the present, in some respects, is very difficult to concentrate on. It contains illness and pain and disappointments. Years ago we never thought about all these things because we were immortal, impervious to unpleasant expectations.

Now we are at the ebb. The waters of our life are receding. The tide goes out and does not return. The richness of the flow has dried-up. We look in the mirror and we see a different person, a person we do not recognize. We see a person who has lost the glow, the spark that ignited a flame of desire and fulfillment.

I am reminded of something I received that was posted on a doctor’s office wall:

Said the little boy,
“Sometimes I drop my spoon.”
Said the old man,
“Sometimes I do that too.”
The little boy whispered,
“I sometimes wet my pants.”
“I do that too,” laughed the old man.
Said the little boy, “I often cry.”
Sadly the old man nodded and said,
“So do I.”
But worst of all said the little boy,
“It seems that grown-ups don’t pay attention to me.”
With that he felt the warmth of the wrinkled old hand,
“I know what you mean,” said the old man.
A tear and a smile were seen upon each other’s face.

How sad that when we get older it really is as though we are back once more to our youth. The cycle is never-ending. We start in life being dependent and we somehow find ourselves again relying on others.

There is an old Yiddish folk saying: Parents once taught their children to talk; today children teach their parents to be quiet. Where is the patience we showed when our children required that of us and now as we age deserve the same consideration? No longer are we the wise ones. Now we are the inconvenient ones. No longer are we the givers. Now we are the takers. And there-in lies the resentment.

Have you noticed that that feeling resonates with caregivers as well? Have you noticed the impatience attendants show the infirmed of advanced age? It is as though they should not be there at all. Life is over for them. Why are they such a burden?

I read a poem written by and older person who died in a geriatric ward of a hospital. It was supplied to me by a good friend, a doctor, with whom I have had many discussions about faith and healing and pain. Dr. Jerald Altman is a kind man, a feeling person who sincerely applies his craft to relieving the hurt and discomfort of those afflicted with the agony of illness. In his honor I repeat excerpts of that poem:

See Me

What do you see, nurses what do you see?
Are you thinking, when you look at me-
A crabby old woman, not very wise,
Uncertain of habit, with far-away eyes,
Who dribbles her food and makes no reply,
When you say in a loud voice – “I do wish you’d try.”

Is what you’re thinking, is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse, you’re looking at ME…
I’ll tell you who I am, as I sit here so still;
As I rise at your bidding, as I eat at your will.

I’m a small child of ten with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters, who love one another,
A young girl of sixteen with wings on her feet,
Dreaming that soon now a lover she’ll meet;
A bride soon at twenty-my heart gives a leap,
Remembering the vows that I promised to keep;
At twenty-five now I have young of my own,
Who need me to build a secure, happy home;
A woman of thirty, my young now grow fast,
Bound to each other with ties that should last;
At forty, my young sons have grown and are gone,
But my man’s beside me to see I don’t mourn;
At fifty once more babies play ‘round my knee,
Again we know children, my loved one and me.

Dark days are upon me, my husband is dead,
I look at the future, I shudder with dread,
For my young are all rearing young of their own,
And I think of the years and the love that I’ve known;
I’m an old woman now and nature is cruel-
‘Tis her jest to make old age look like a fool.

I remember the joys, I remember the pain,
And I’m loving and living life over again,
I think of the years, all too few-gone too fast,
And accept the stark fact that nothing can last-
So I open your eyes, nurses, open and see,
Not a crabby old woman, look closer, nurses – see ME!

Yes, age can be daunting and frightening. It can be all these things and more because we understand that life goes on and we are not going to be part of it anymore. But then we should always remember the Psalmist’s admonition to say to God: “Do not forget me, God, until I have shouted of Your strength to the next generation.”

This should be our concentration: To be grateful for the past, appreciative of the present, and ever thankful that we have had a part in determining the future. We have witnessed offense and forgiveness, loneliness and love, pain and compassion, defeat and victory. Who could ask for anything more? We certainly don’t want anything less.

Apologies

Hi All:

Sorry for not publishing recently. Getting ready for the High Holidays.
I will be writing more in my Blog in about a month.
Hope every one is enjoying a great summer.
Stay tuned.

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

When All Seems Lost

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

It is ironic that a recent Torah reading includes a chapter titled “Behalotcha” which literally means to light – referring to the Menorah that was the focal point of the Temple. It was the seven-branched candelabra that remained lit 24/7/365. It was a reminder of the eternalness of God and was the light that also recalled the light of learning and of morals and ethics that are required for people to live together. The remnant of that symbol can be found in every Jewish house of worship, whether it is Temple or Synagogue or Bet Hamedrash or Bet Haknesset – all titles for a place to gather and learn and teach and gain understanding about our responsibilities as human-beings.

But that is not all this chapter deals with. To me the main emphasis can be found in the knowledge that Judaism is a religion of action over faith. No single credo defines the Jew. Rather than declaring our reliance on faith, Judaism requires taking action. Throughout the Bible, the Israelites raise doubts over their faith in God – that is not new. The question on the minds of the Israelites as they wander the desert in search of their destiny is whether or not to engage in God’s work. They are constantly complaining about everything from the lack of water, the dust in their mouths from the sand storms or the endless travel seeming to go nowhere. In fact they actual bemoan their fate with doubts and fears. They begrudgingly move forward to engage in their desire to meet their destiny.

Now we see more than ever the self-doubt that seems to possess us. The world, without provocation or understanding, seems to constantly berate tiny Israel. Israel is forever attempting to explain its desire to live in peace without fear of terrorism or daily bombardments from hostile neighbors. We read time and again of suicide bombers attacking for no reason other than the hatred they are taught from early on. We see children strapped with explosives and commanded to wreak havoc on anyone who is in their path. Little children who have not even learned how to talk or play or enjoy friends and growing-up.

The world looks at this as some sort of ritual that is required to gain acceptance and even admiration. Where is the cry from sane people at this wanton waste of humanity? Where is the outpouring of anger against the rankest form of child abuse? Where are the people of conscience who claim to be guardians of humanities collective responsibility for life and liberty and happiness?

Each and every time Israel attempts to defend itself from these horrors, the world looks and sighs because they are, in most instances, successful. Occasionally mistakes are made, and sometimes with horrible results. But if you live with a siege mentality, I am sure you too would make mistakes.

Some will say that God is angry at us. Perhaps so. But if, indeed, God is angry at us it is because we don’t really jump into action when confronted with what seems to be insurmountable obstacles and worrying about what people will say or do. What infuriates God is our constant complaining.

What should we be concentrating on? Simply stated: it is to not only be a light unto the nations as the Menorah reminds us, but also to take action when needed and not expect some miracle to take place to disengage us from the ordeals of life and living. Our spiritual link to God requires us to be active in our approach to the world around us. Not continually be afraid of who we are and what is needed for us to continue to survive and “MOVE-ON.” We learned this lesson rather starkly when we were faced with certain doom at the edge of the Sea until, as the Midrash tells us, we needed to step into the water to make it separate from the dry land. We were required to take that first step in meeting our responsibilities as partners with God, not depending on God to take charge and leave us with no choices.

What we do we do because it is expected of us and our obligation is to stop complaining about things we should not be complaining about. And shaking our head as though all is lost is a sure path to inaction or even worse.

We MUST be ready to participate in ensuring the survival of Israel because our survival rests with that success. And as the Torah portion explains in great detail, fear will only cause destruction. We MUST never be afraid of who we are and what is needed to guarantee our right as a free people who gave the world the light to see the difference between right and wrong.

We didn’t put the match in anyone’s hand to light the Menorah. We offered the possibility to carry the torch and to remain ever mindful of the eternalness of our People. The Menorah stayed lit because we did not allow the flame to die.

And our faith gives us the right to proclaim the sanctity of life and the action that is necessary to guarantee that right.

The Wrong Jeremiah Is Heard

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

Introduction

I begin by stating that I am a born American. In fact my birthday is December 7th, a major date in the history of our nation as described by President Franklin Delano Roosevelt in his famous “A date that will go down in infamy” sentence in a speech to the Congress of the United States as it declared war on Japan in response to the vicious attack on Hawaii.

I served my country during, what is referred to as, the Korean War era, and was honorably discharged, and even served more years in the reserves. I never saw combat but was stationed overseas as part of my tour of active duty.

I mention all this because I believe that my patriotism and devotion to the United States of America gives me the right to disagree with its policies, not only because of my contributions, but also because of my inherent right as outlined in the Constitution and Bill of Rights.

All this is to help make clear that, sometimes, even religious fervor has a rightful place in the discourse relating to political conclusions and dictates as they affect human dignity and human allegiance. This country was founded on the principle that free men, and women, have the obligation to speak truth even when it is contrary to most opinions. So spoke the Biblical Prophets in helping the people determine their moral requirements.

I speak as a simple human being, dedicated to the betterment of the human spirit in achieving fulfillment and salvation through faith. I am not so arrogant to believe that my voice is the only one that makes sense or deserves to be heard. It is a voice, among many, that seeks justice, not only for my people, but for all peoples. This is my calling.

The wrong message

During the presidential campaign we were told by candidate, Barack Obama, that even though he was a member and frequent attendee of Pastor Jeremiah Wright’s Church in Chicago, he never really heard what he said or accepted what he espoused. What was that? Hate!

His (Jeremiah Wright) sermons demonized the Jewish people and condemned the United States of America using descriptions that are too sick to print let alone speak. His words were not meant to encourage but rather discourage his own people who needed and deserved to be treated with respect. By exhorting these diatribes he, in fact, belittled his flock and showed great disdain for their intelligence.

This Jeremiah stood before his congregation and did not teach about God and love and forgiveness which are the duty and responsibility of clergy from all beliefs and persuasions, but rather disloyalty and disaffection. The New Testament expounds on the theory that you cannot claim to love God whom you have never seen and hate your fellow-man whom you are in contact with daily. The rest can be found in the dictum: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Somewhere this concept was lost as is his soul.

Sitting in the pews week after week, month after month, year after year, was a member of that congregation, the congregation with the wrong Jeremiah, named Barack Obama. Can anyone, for one instant, believe that we are capable of sitting through these venomous outpourings and not be affected?

Jeremiah, the true Prophet of God, the defender of his faith, the real Jeremiah, preached: “Do not listen what the prophets are prophesying to you; they fill you with false hopes. They speak visions from their own minds, not from the mouth of the Lord.” (Jer. 23) When people, claiming to be Godly, speak of alienation, they lead you in paths not directed by God. Such is the man who is called Jeremiah Wright. The wrong Jeremiah is being heard, and for sure the wrong message is being sounded

We are now witnessing the results of those years of misleading his people. No longer a candidate, no longer saying what people wanted to hear; now President Barack Obama is putting into action the words that have echoed in his mind for these many years. The United States of America is witnessing, first hand, the divisiveness being spewed to a public that has yet to understand, what the true nature of the man, the man who claimed to be devoted to bringing us together, is really all about. And if we disagree we are labeled “racist.” The question is really: Who is the racist?

How can we be expected to come together as one people when our leader demonstrates, time and again, the lack of commitment to this concept? You cannot achieve success on the backs of those you condemn. Denigrating one does not give sanctity to another.

The blessing and the curse

To dispel all issues about dual-loyalties, let me here and know state unequivocally that I am committed to the security of our country, to the principles in which it was founded and the concept of pluralism that is the hallmark of its greatness as are all Jewish Americans.

That does not mean that I do not have a spiritual and historical tie to Israel, its people and its significance as it reaches to proclaim its inalienable right to survival. The two are exclusive.

I understand, full well, the intent of our president, to reach out to the entire world and attempt to connect with all mankind to ensure humanity’s survival. I understand, as well, the need for our country to stretch out its hand in friendship thus encouraging all people to realize their potential.

I understand, only too well, the desire for all people to live in peace and security. None should be afraid of their neighbor or live in fear for their lives. To accomplish this requires great fortitude and courage but above all strength of purpose surrounded by truth.

What I don’t understand is that there are those who believe that to accomplish all this requires some to be sacrificed on the altar of misplaced allegiance, while undermining the security of others. What I don’t understand is that ignoring past alliances and commitments because of an attitude toward looking at what should be rather than what is, will not, in the long-run, achieve salvation or survival.

We deal with reality, not supplant it with dreams that have no basis in fact. We speak to the issues with clarity and understanding not with disdain and ignorance of fact. We can’t be called “honest broker” if we truly do not believe this to be our mission. We should not insult our friends to find favor with our enemies.

Scripture makes it very clear when it states: “Those who bless Israel will be blessed, and those who curse Israel will be cursed.” (Gen. 12:1-3) That does not mean that a blank check is given to obtain the blessing instead of the curse. What it does mean is that we have an obligation, a sacred trust, to ensure that the People of Israel are secure in their homes and accepted among the nations of the world as living proof of the redemption that has arrived because Israel lives and will continue to live long after all others have vanished. History records this truth.

Friendship means peace and respect

When the Prime Minister of Israel is a guest in our country it is expected that he will be treated with the dignity accorded all heads of state, especially allies and friends. The lack of regard for Benjamin Netanyahu was an exercise in disdain and contempt. One only has to witness our president’s acceptance of Hugo Chavez, an avowed dictator and enemy of our republic, to realize that friendship is not the requirement for acknowledgement, but insistence on extending a welcome hand to all who profess to hate us. As though a gesture or a handshake or a smile will change feelings and make everything right.

To add insult to injury, we are now witnessing our president welcoming, with open arms, a man he despises, the president of Afghanistan. He is wined and dined and even dined with Vice President Biden and his family. This is a man whose hands are drenched with Poppy lava. This is a man who has disdain for our country and even said so. This is a man who represents a country where our men and women have shed their blood to support and keep afloat.

Not one single member of our armed forces has fought or died for Israel. The only thing we have done over the years is support the rights of people to live in peace and tranquility through their own efforts. And yet, we are told by our government that the loss of American lives can be attributed to the intransigence of the Israel. How utterly ridiculous and even laughable.

We do not murder innocent people because of their religious identification. We do not behead people to throw fear and to intimidate. We don’t send our children strapped with bombs to blow-up innocent men, women and children in the name of some mistaken belief that this will bring about capitulation.

In all my years I have never seen such a display of childishness and arrogance. The United States of America was the first country in the world to recognize the legitimacy of the re-birth of Israel. For 62 years we have stood by this country, born from the ashes of despair, to assist in its desire to become a nation of laws and acceptance.

No president, no administration, has ever turned its back on the right of Israel to survive in words and deeds. We, the American people, are responsible for the success of a nation that opens its hearts to all who hunger for freedom and nobility.

No nation is perfect and Israel is no exception. Democracy is an experiment and is in a continual state of flux. That is one of the hallmarks of democracy. It is a never ending attempt to adjust to current modes and trends so that it grows. Our Constitution is living proof of a journey into human salvation by constantly interpreting its message as determined by the Supreme Court. That is called the rule of law. And we are a nation that prides itself on the adherence to law and the benefits derived from that understanding of human behavior. Treating a friendly head of state with such contempt does not speak to this.

Friends disagree at times and even have arguments. But friends understand, as described in a famous Hasidic folk saying, that each may have faults but if you are looking for a friend who has no faults, you will have no friends. Most of all friendship means that you are concerned for the peace and security expected from that relationship.

The impediment to lasting peace

We are constantly led to believe, and the main stream media is part of this conspiracy, that peace in the Middle East can only be achieved by Israel conceding everything in exchange for nothing. For example: The Oslo accords. Analyze all that has happened since those documents were signed. Peace was never achieved; battles are constantly fought; Palestine is still a dream because the intent was not to live in harmony but rather to continue the armed fight for total domination; corruption and in-fighting exists between factions of terrorist organizations. The net result of this accord was the systematic arming of people determined to annihilate a sovereign nation from off the face of the earth as stated in its manifesto.

Prime Minister Menacham Begin who built his reputation as a fighter knew that to achieve lasting peace there must be a partner in that quest and there must be compromise attached to that completion. The Sinai Peninsula, filled with mountains of much needed oil, was returned to Egypt. This country who made war on Israel during its holiest day of the year, Yom Kippur, finally realized that war was futile and President Anwar Sadat made a historic trip to Jerusalem, not Tel Aviv, to convey that message.

During President Bill Clinton’s term in office a serious attempt was made with Prime Minister Ehud Barak to concede 97% of the West Bank and all of Gaza, and the division of Jerusalem, to appease the critics who constantly claimed that Israel was not forthcoming or reliable as a partner for peace. The result of that gesture was a complete rejection of what would become, if enacted, a troublesome episode in Israel’s history. But Israel was willing to take the gamble and move forward for final peace and security.

Since that time new obstacles have been placed in the road to independence for a people in great need of redemption and dignity. Now we are told that settlements are a deterrent – settlements being built on Israeli soil and agreed to by past United States administrations. A new glitch has been added – the return of those who left Israel during the War of Independence. People, I might add who were told to leave because after the defeat of Israel they would be welcomed back to a land free of Jews.

Time and again the stakes are re-adjusted to accommodate new thoughts and new ideas to complete the task of “driving the Jews” into the sea that could not be accomplished by military means.

The list is endless and the results the same. No peace. No statehood for Palestinians. No serious effort on the part of the world to act as peace broker without intimidation and fear. The only exception has been, until now, the United States. Our country has made every effort to establish a clear understanding of what is required for lasting peace and fulfillment.

Inspiring terrorism

We are at a crossroad right now. We can continue to stand for justice and freedom or we can maintain the path undertaken to inspire people of ill-will to make war and destroy the very essence of humanity’s desire for tranquility.

By displaying an outright hostility toward a friend the universe will probably see itself embroiled in a conflict that may not be possible to correct. We see this with our attitude toward Iran and North Korea. Soon these rogue regimes will succeed in creating fear throughout the world when they join the nuclear club of nations. Their attitude and behavior suggests that they will not be contained or restricted in their determination to annihilate Israel. They now are engaged in bringing into their sphere of influence another rogue nation such as Venezuela.

This sphere of influence will not diminish but grow and get bolder as we attempt to undermine the viability of Israel. Can there be no doubt that once the world thinks the United States will no longer be considered the defenders of a free Israel, there will be chaos unmatched in human history?

By turning our back on the very ideals and principles for which we are known we encourage violence and regret; the violence of murderers and terrorists and the regret of friends who once thought we could be trusted.

Where is the unifying credential that elevated our president to his office? Where are the deeds that should be part of the constant reminder of our dedication to the survival of Israel? Where is the still small voice that repeats and repeats the words of the Prophet Jeremiah: “You are always on their lips, but far from their hearts.” The Prophet, the true Prophet was his cry to those who profess to speak for God but speak falsely and wickedly.

This should be our answer because in the words of the Prophet Micah: “What it is that God expects of you? To do justly, to love mercy and walk humbly with God.” And what better way is there to accomplish this than to be what we say we are and to do what we say we will do in honesty while searching for fulfillment.

Israel is our friend and we need all the friends we can get for one simple reason: We are not perceived as being honest or trustworthy. As a citizen, as a person of faith, as a human being drawn to the Divine, I simply state that we need to remember our roots and our heritage as a nation dedicated to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. This is not only our right but something we fought for and died for on behalf of all humanity.

Let us resolve to listen to the right Jeremiah in that it will be the answer to our survival. Let us not feel threatened to speak out in an attempt to correct the wrong. We are Americans. This is our calling.

A Woman of Valor

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

In both May and June we celebrate two holidays dedicated to parents: Mother’s Day in May, and Father’s Day in June.

However, perhaps, we should concentrate on Mother’s Day. Not because they deserve more attention, but because they are the dreamers and the toilers in the never-ending process of growth and development. Father’s start the chain of events leading to our birth, but Mother’s nurture and sustain us as we grow into parents ourselves.

In the Book of Proverbs we are taught the beauty and value of women and their indispensable role in the conduct of creation. “A woman of valor, who can find? She is more precious than fine pearls. Her husband trusts in her, and so he lacks nothing. She does him good, never harm, all the days of her life. Her children rise up and bless her; her husband sings her praises. She speaks with wisdom; the law of kindness is on her lips.”

So central to life’s values, people of all faiths have always recognized that women were not inferior but rather equals in completing the task given us by God. Scripture is filled with the exploits of women who have been in the forefront of faith-based activities which included social justice and conscience.

But perhaps the most significant role is that of a mother. She played with us when we were young, nurtured us during times of trouble. She is a calmer of fears, compassionate, understanding with unconditional love.

We watch her grow old and become bent, but her children, well, they are tall and strong and had courage beyond their beliefs because of her fortitude and example. Her lips are always filled with encouragement.

Sometimes it is painful for us to remember our mothers who are no more because we knew, as the journey concluded, that she realized the end was better than the beginning because her children walked with dignity and pride as a testament to her love and caring.

Sometimes we wish that if we could only see her once more or touch her brow with a kiss, we would feel more comfortable and safe. Well, we do have that moment and it is called memory and because of memory she remains a living presence.

The Book of Proverbs said it best and all we can do is echo those hallowed words as we pay tribute to the past and the savor the time we still have with our mother here and now.

“She is clothed in strength and dignity, and she faces the future cheerfully. She reaches out to those in need, and extends her hands to the poor. Many daughters have done valiantly, but she excels them all.”

Remember, you can find all this in her smile, her laughter, in every tear drop she sheds watching her children grow and their children as well. She was our first love, our best friend, and we can never be separated from her – not even in death.

To Mourn, To Remember, To Rejoice

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

YOM HAHSHOAH

The German Jewish Political Theorist, Hannah Arendt (1906-1975), wrote during the trial of Adolph Eichmann in Israel: “It was as though in those last minutes he (Eichmann) was summing up the lessons that this long course in human wickedness had taught us – the lesson of the fearsome, word-and-thought-defying banality of evil.” Perhaps she actually compacted into one sentence the sum total of what the Holocaust was and remains in most memories until this very moment in time. Will that be the legacy that will be inherited by the future generations of the unconcerned?

Much has been said, written, and depicted about the Holocaust. We continually say that we can never fully describe the death and destruction because to some it was just as Eichmann thought, an incidental happening, something that was not out of the ordinary. It is this kind of evil that trivializes, and even glamorizes murder on such a large scale.

And yet, here we are, commemorating the anniversary of such an atrocity. Human minds can’t fully comprehend the mindless torture of people because we want to forget. We mark the day with solemn utterances and, in Israel, the sirens sound and the shrillness of that cadence gives us time to reflect. But then, once the siren has ended its call to remembrance, we continue with everyday living.

That exercise of continuity doesn’t diminish the loss but rather enables us to continue with life because that is the essence of their sacrifice. We cannot just die but rather live to not only remember but to inform and remind. This is our solemn obligation and its fulfillment destroys the Eichmann’s of the world as they attempt to minimize and even deny the actuality of the horror.

Today we are witnessing a return to the civilized becoming the beasts. The Haman of today sits in a corner of the world that gave birth to civilization as we know it and displays a disdain for the very enlightenment that elevated us from the depths of depravity to the heights of morality. How is this possible?

The answer can be found in one word: Indifference. The world does not want to concentrate on such iniquity. Life is too short to focus on bad things. Therefore people of good will ignore the hurt and settle on ignoring the truth. It is a sad commentary about society and could even be a motivation for attempting a repeat of such cruelty and dehumanization.

Golda Meir was quoted as saying: “There is no difference between one’s killing and making decisions that will send others to kill. It’s exactly the same thing, or even worse.” Denying truth and even ignoring it, to me, is tantamount to participating in the deed. Turning a blind eye to tragedy makes us accomplices.

The Holocaust will remain a symbol of man’s inhumanity to man for eternity. The remembrance of the Holocaust will ensure that future generations will understand the darkness that enveloped the Earth and the depths to which we are capable of descending. We have met Satan and Satan is us!

How can this chapter ever be closed? There will never be closure because that would desecrate the memory of those who perished, who have no one to remember their existence. We are committed to immortalizing their memories so that their souls will remain bound up in a common bond of weeping that will forever be heard around the world and beyond.

YOM HAZIKARON/HA'ATZMAUT

We learn in Pesikta Buber: “He who defends Israel is uplifted by God.”

The sacrifices made by the men and women who serve in the Israel military are doing just that. Make no mistake – the survival of the Jewish People rests with the brave defenders of the land. Each and every Israeli understands that to lose one war is equivalent to losing it all. Each day they are thrust into harm’s way because of the dangers that exist is their corner of the world.

I have seen their dedication and devotion. I have seen their willingness to put their lives on the line to continue the dream that was dormant for so many millennia and was realized in our time. They dream and they laugh and they love and at the same time understand that to be able to do all these things requires vigilance and determination.

Their zeal is recognized by their countrymen each year as a time devoted to the memory of those who have fallen in their defense. It is the ultimate gesture of gratitude.
And as Golda Meir also said:”We Jews have a secret weapon in our struggle with the Arabs: we have no place to go.” Each and every man woman and child understand this and therefore is ready and willing to give their utmost to the country carved out of a barren wasteland and formed into a thriving re-birth of a People.

Immediately following this solemn moment we rejoice in our renewal. The longing of the ages has been fulfilled. We are home. We are in Eretz Yisrael. The land of our deliverance and redemption.

David Ben Gurion was fond of saying the State of Israel will prove itself not by material wealth, not by military might or technical achievement, but by its moral character and human values. Idealism at its best. But the reality is that Israel has done all these things and more.

Israel has shown the world that its determination and fortitude enabled it to grow and flourish and enhance the life of all humanity through its technological achievements and its military prowess. It has helped the world understand that contributions to science and industry have advanced life giving us the ability to reap the rewards of God’s benevolence. The People of Israel did and continue to do all that even as it lives through danger from outside forces.

Perhaps the words of Chaim Potok summarizes the aspirations of a People who have survived untold tragedies and unimaginable horrors: “My father often spoke in military terms: the Jews were the vanguard of mankind, the reconnaissance troops, and therefore prone to taking the highest casualties. But we would succeed one day in establishing the Kingdom of God on earth. Of that he had no doubt.”