Rabbi Irwin Wiener DD

The impact we havev on others

2012-01-12T20:49:00.000-08:00

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

Winter is almost over and spring is right around the corner. And as spring approaches we should be reminded that it is a time of renewal, a time set aside by the calendar to remind us of the those things that are important so that we can discard those things that are troubling and cause us pain.

As Americans we commemorate the birthdays of our presidents because they represent the best in us. We understand, only too well, the anguish of growth and development that their lives depicted as they forged a nation from dissidents and malcontents and reformers – all thirsting for the freedom from degradation and despair. The country they fled – primarily England – held nothing but a repressive existence and an opportunity to go nowhere in the quest for completion and contentment.

The Founding Fathers were, and remain, important in our lives because they were able to work tirelessly for the benefit of all even to the point of losing their wealth and status as successful entrepreneurs.

Albert Einstein once wrote, “Strange is our situation here upon earth. Each of us comes for a short visit, not knowing why, yet sometimes seeming to divine a purpose. From the standpoint of daily life, however, there is one thing we know: That we are here for the sake of others…Above all, for those whose smile and well-being our own happiness depends, and also for the countless unknown souls with whose fate we are connected by a bond of sympathy.

May times a day I realize how much my own outer and inner life is built upon the labors of my fellow men, both living and dead, and how earnestly I must exert myself in order to give in return as much as I have received.”

I could not help think as I read these words how much of an impact we have on the lives of those we come in contact with each and every day. We probably will never know, as our framers never really understood, to what extent we truly comfort those in need or help those looking for togetherness and purpose. Each and every time we gather, as a nation and a people, to celebrate or to mourn, the faces of each show a feeling of satisfaction because of our inheritance. It is truly uplifting.

The men and women who chose to assume roles of leadership in the development of our nation enabled us to witness firsthand the value of friendship and warmth. Sure there are times we feel estranged or perhaps disconnected, but then all we have to do is read a document called the Constitution and the Bill of Rights and the Emancipation Proclamation and it awakens in us a true feeling of patriotism and connection to one another.

These revolutionaries knew that they could not be all things to all people but they also understood that they and we should never stopped trying. Personalities notwithstanding, we are all linked in a chain of tradition that has been inherited from generations past. They leaned on Scripture for encouragement and faith in the purpose for which they fought and we should not only carry that torch of fervor but also enhance its message by ensuring that their devotion was not in vain. Each generation of Americans must ensure that the flame is never extinguished.

By honoring the past we honor the present and guarantee the future. This is the hallmark of a great people, a great institution called democracy and a great heritage. And each brings to the table different talents that blend together to form a great nation.

When we join together during the month of February to honor our leaders, know that we are also congratulating each other because we continue to elevate our image within our own country and beyond. We are an influential force of dignity for all humanity.

Let us all wish a Happy Birthday to our presidents for their sincerity of purpose and devotion to the continuity of human deliverance. It is through their efforts that we enjoy the fondness and gratitude of so many.

A New Year Message - 2012

2011-12-28T10:55:00.000-08:00

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

It was approximately twenty-five hundred years ago that the Prophets of Israel roamed the countryside preaching about the goodness of humanity and how it could be found in each of us. In fact they emphasized that the most enduring force known to man was the power of our ability to conquer the wrong doing we witness every day.

There are many ways we can accomplish what was suggested so long ago. For example: Supporting institutions that give others the ability to survive and even carry themselves with dignity. Every day we witness the poverty and misery of those less fortunate. And there are those among us who were more independent but somehow became victims of the terrible nightmare we have been exposed to for these many years.

It is not enough to acknowledge the problems. We are obligated, as partners with God, to ensure that the tear in our society is repaired to the best of our ability. Each tear in the fabric of our existence should bring us closer to understanding our place in the journey we are embarked upon. Age should not be a deterrent to reaching out to lend a helping hand. Rather it should encourage us to do more because we have been there and have seen what nothingness brings.

Perhaps, given what has transpired this past year, we can reach for the unreachable with deeds. We are nothing without purpose and only when we lift a person who has fallen, can we with pride, declare who we are and truly comprehend the connection of Heaven and Earth.

This time of the year enables us to recollect as well as plan for tomorrow. There is the custom of New Year’s resolutions – a wish list of things yet to be accomplished and with good intentions attached. But it shouldn’t end there. The act of making a wish should be connected to the action necessary to see them completed. Some will falter and some will see their dreams come true. There is no shame in failing but rather in not making an honest attempt. That is the beauty of trying.

Our religious New Year encompasses these thoughts but also includes a desire to complete the journey with God as a partner. The secular New Year enables us to recall the past with the intention of trying harder through our own efforts of will power and determination. When you think about it they are similar.

Yes, the Prophets were right when they declared that goodness can be found in each of us. And it takes a little push called New Year to bring out the best in each of us. This to me is the true meaning of a New Year.

My prayer is that we will all find 2012 a year that will give us the ability to celebrate those things that give us comfort and joy; that each of us will join in creating an even better life filled with wishes and dreams, contentment and good health; that God will look favorably upon us and bless us with long life and most of all, quality of life.

The Meaning of Tradition

2011-12-13T12:07:00.000-08:00

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

Usually at this time of the year we start asking questions because of all the commotion regarding Christmas. It is a wonderful time of the year and, a frightening time as well. There are doubts about who we are and how we fit into the rush and excitement that we witness taking place with our Christian neighbors. I, for one, am happy for them because of the message of the season, not the trappings and gift giving.

The meaning is quite simple which makes it even more appealing. Peace on Earth, good will toward men – men, of course, used in the generic sense. How could anyone argue with such a concept? After all it has its roots in Judaism’s understanding of relationships and attachments. It emanates from the Jewish gift to humanity of the concept of a Messianic wish and hope – a time when all will be well with the world and the lion will finally lie down with the lamb indicating the removal of hate and fright.

And yet, while we delivered this message as described in the Prophets, we still are a skeptical people reacting more to practical feelings rather than spiritual ones. Our Christian brothers and sisters have taken the belief to include a physical arrival while we look to a time when order will be created out of chaos. Both traditions are rooted in the belief and hope that humanity is capable of good and noble things

We look at this tradition in a more humorous way giving us the opportunity to rationalize the idea so that we can digest it. For example the story is told about a small Russian shtetl (community) where the city council decides to pay a poor Jew a ruble a week to sit at the town’s entrance and be the first to greet the Messiah when he arrives. The man’s brother comes to see him, and is puzzled why he took such a low paying job. “It’s true,” the poor man responds, “the pay is low. But it’s a steady job.”

We wait and yet we wonder and all too often we see misery and homelessness and poverty and wonder about our ever witnessing a time of tranquility and peace. And, yes, we laugh because it gives us the ability to hope without feeling so frustrated.

A Jew comes home from Synagogue and tells his wife: “They say the Messiah is coming any day, and will take us all to Israel.” The wife becomes hysterical. “Oh no! It would be terrible. It took years till we could finally move into this neighborhood, and buy the house we wanted. Now we’ve spent a fortune fixing it up. I don’t want the Messiah to take us away.” “Okay, okay, don’t worry,” the husband says. “We survived Pharaoh; we survived all types of discrimination. With God’s help, we’ll survive the Messiah too!”

Woody Allen reacted to the prophesy about the lion and the lamb explaining that a man was visiting a zoo and is taken to the lion’s cage. He witnesses there the literal fulfillment of Isaiah’s prophesy – a lion and calf in a cage together. Amazed he calls over an attendant. : How long have you had a lion and calf in a cage together?” “Over a year already.” “How do you do it?” “It’s easy. Every morning we put in a new calf.”

So here we are at this time, in this place, and the same thoughts run through our mind about a Messiah and the message it is intended to deliver. But then I look around and see people rushing to help people. I see people, some tired, some ill, still reaching out to help others who need the help more than they. I see volunteers serving food to those who are hungry or bringing groceries and medicines to the housebound. I see people raising funds for the needy among us. I see others collecting food for those less fortunate. I see all of this each and every day and I realize that the Messiah is among us – in each of us.

This is not a dream or a wish – but in the person of each of us who join together to reconnect to an idea, a feeling, and a moment of sacredness.

Those who believe in a physical Messiah can witness all the Messiahs at work. Those who believe in a Messianic era – well each generation brings the Messianic time a bit closer through the works of their hands. This is how God intended us to believe in the future by living in the present.

To our Christian friends – we wish them a very Merry Christmas together with the hope that their dreams and wishes will receive fulfillment and that the message of this season will give them renewed faith in each other and in God.

To all who celebrate Hanukkah – my wish is that the lights of the Menorah will continue to burn in each of us as we go from strength to strength in achieving the meaning of the Messianic promise and expectation of goodness and mercy, of kindness and redemption. This is what the Maccabees, some 2200 years ago in the midst of turmoil and despair taught us by taking destiny into their own hands thus giving us the opportunity to get closer to God through our own efforts of determination and fortitude.

May God bless all of us, Jews, Christians, Muslims, Hindus, Baha’is and all who seek to find God through their own commitment of love and caring. And may He find favor with us as we begin a new season of continuity.

Don't let the lights go out

2011-12-01T19:54:00.001-08:00

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.
Hanukkah 5772
December 22-29, 2011

“Don’t let the lights go out!” With these words, over 2200 years ago, humanity was introduced to an awareness that not only illumines the path of life’s journey but also enables us to understand the difference between good and evil.

Good requires light so that everyone can see the splendor that it represents. Good is the indispensable ingredient toward fulfillment. Good demands a great deal of effort because it is needed to eradicate our inclination to be evil.

Hanukkah helps us understand this eternal struggle because it is man’s first fight for religious freedom.

Hanukkah represents the globalization of the understanding of God. The light that emanates from the Menorah is the light of the true meaning of the relationship between us and God.

Hanukkah comes at a time when darkness surrounds us. The days are short. The night is long. It is cold and the harshness of winter is upon us. Life withers. We sleep. And some die. For this is the darkest time of the year.

Then there is light. The warm glow of these candles hopefully kindles awareness in our hearts that radiates so strongly and embraces everything around us. We are mesmerized by the flame, almost hypnotized, and we feel secure. Each night we light another candle until all eight are lit. And each night we feel a new sense of enlightenment, a new level of Holiness, a new attempt at the connection between God and humanity.

We light eight candles to differentiate between the Creator and the created. For in six days did God bring order from chaos and rested on the seventh,
and we, on the eighth day, attempt to bring this order into our daily lives through the miracle of the lights.

We cannot recapture the past, but we can use it to ensure the future. The religious freedom that was won has been the clarion call for all people throughout history. Every battle for religious freedom has had as its foundation the spark from the candles lit to indicate that evil was conquered by good.

May the lights of freedom continue to glow for all humanity.
May the lights of hope always give meaning to our lives.
May the lights of redemption remain fulfilling through the days and years ahead.
May the lights of Hanukkah remain a symbol for the future of all God’s children.

May the lights illuminate the paths of darkness, awakening our souls to our societal duties and always reminding us that there is goodness in each one of us.
May the lights help us to remember our responsibility to comfort the oppressed; encourage those who feel hopelessness.

May the light act as a symbol always reminding us to respond in a meaningful way relieving all the pain and suffering so that tomorrow will be better than today because all life is to be cherished.

What is Thanksgiving?

2011-10-26T12:58:00.000-07:00

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

Soon we will celebrate an annual event called Thanksgiving. It is an American holiday formed after the holiday in the Hebrew Bible known as Sukkot – Feast of Tabernacles.
The Bible tells us that it was incumbent on all the people to make a pilgrimage to the Temple in Jerusalem and bring the first fruits of the harvest gleaned from the fields to demonstrate appreciation to God for the blessings bestowed upon the people.

The Pilgrims who landed in the New World were grateful for many things, among them the freedom from oppression; the ability to be free in a new land that was ripe for the experiments of choice resulting from hard work and determination. There were no task masters to control their goings and comings or to take tribute for their labor.

We have all read accounts of those times and the struggles and hardships that required steadfastness and dedication. There was comfort from and with each other that translated in survival in a harsh new environment. If ever there was the ability to be grateful, it certainly was found in faith.

The Bible played a significant role in offering comfort from the unexpected. Several centuries later there was found on the walls of a cellar where people were hiding from the Nazis which, perhaps, describes the torment and belief in redemption that the Pilgrims were looking for to assist in their ability to endure:

“I believe in the sun even when it is not shining.
I believe in love even when not feeling it.
I believe in God even when He is silent.”

One of the writings of the great poet, Noah benShea, indicated that faith sees beyond fate. And that is the essence of what gave the people who witnessed humanities darkest hour and what gave the Pilgrims the ability to overcome difficulties of what they could not see or imagine.

The 18th century German poet, Heinrich Heine wrote that human misery is too great for men to deal with without faith. As a Christian he was motivated by a deep desire to instill a feeling of worthiness in the human spirit that can only be found in a strong connection to God.

There was a recent movie titled “The Way” which describes with tender feelings and emotions the need to discover the ability to learn from our journey of life – the good and the bad. In it we witness people from different corners of the Globe searching for meaning as they endeavor to walk the path of generations seeking fulfillment and completion.

Each of them – four in all – came for various reasons; one for understanding; one to relinquish a bad habit; one for connection to a child lost to eternity and the fourth to write the great novel. There were dramatic events that took place during this long trek and affected each in differing ways. In the end they realized that the path to realization lead to a single concept of deliverance: Connection.

All of us, at one time or another, try to reach out to touch a hand or kiss a face or hear a familiar sound with the ultimate objective of feeling a togetherness that is essential to live our lives as God intended – united with a friend, a loved one, even a stranger.

Some of us believe only what we understand, as Benjamin Disraeli remarked, but the truth is that we can believe what we don’t understand, and that is called faith. It is this faith in ourselves and faith in the unknown we refer to as God that sustains us and gives us the impetus to continue with life even when there is the good and the bad in the mix.

The Pilgrims were also driven by a vision as described in Proverbs: “Where there is no vision, the people perish.” The generations that preceded us and gave us the understanding of thankfulness through sacrifice knew only too well the meaning of dreaming what was considered impossible.

As we gather together at this great festival of appreciation let us remember, with gratitude, the people who allow us to rejoice – the men and women who serve our country wearing its uniform. Through the centuries they have demonstrated time and again the need for vigilance tempered with mercy so that all will be able to savor the abundance given to us by God.

Pekuach Nefesh: The saving of a life

2011-09-30T16:20:00.000-07:00

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

Sukkot is a special holiday and at the same time mostly ignored because it follows on the heels of the High Holidays. In fact tradition teaches that Sukkot is really part of the High Holiday season. So why then is it insignificant in many circles? Perhaps because we seem to be “holidayed out,” so to speak. For several weeks we are inundated with Selichot prayers ushering in the “Days of Awe” and then the time arrives and we are left to ponder and contemplate. All of this culminates with the “Afflicting of our Souls” as prescribed in the Torah.

Somehow Sukkot, even with its rituals and trappings, such as building a Sukkah or arranging to obtain the four species of vegetation put together with the Lulav and Etrog, seems to be lost in the shadow of the agony and ecstasy of renewal and anticipation.

However, I believe, we neglect to think of one aspect of all these holidays, a common denominator, if you will: The saving of life. Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur give us the ability to reconnect with God through introspection and Sukkot completes the journey by suggesting that now is the time to remember the blessings of life afforded us through the beneficence of a caring and loving God. By recalling these messages we, in all probability, will be saving the lives of ourselves, our loved ones, and even those we don’t know.

How is this accomplished? Simply stated, remembering that we are responsible to others for our actions. We are responsible to God for those things that relate to our spiritual well-being. We are responsible to ourselves to ensure that our lives will have meaning and purpose.

Sukkot reminds us of God’s protection which is given because we take the necessary action and attitude to affect happiness and completeness. It also suggests that the shelter we build is established to connote that God too attempts to shelter us from the consequences of choices we make that can hurt us and those around us through ignorance and neglect.

Our lives certainly are tenuous and fragile as is the Sukkah. Therefore we must take the time to celebrate, rejoice, and give thanks. There is, however, one more aspect that needs to be part of our thoughts and actions: Pekuach Nefesh – the saving of humanity, one person at a time.

I recently met a woman, advanced in age, but determined to live her life to the fullest and prolong it even though she is suffering from failed kidneys. She is a candidate for a transplant, but is on a very long list and probably will not survive the wait.

She needs help. She needs someone to come forward and offer her survival. She has insisted that, even though it is forbidden to purchase or sell a kidney, she is willing to make whatever arrangements are necessary to accomplish her goal: To spend her twilight years in the bosom of her family enjoying their continued growth and development.

She is not unique. There are, I am sure, many people who have maladies that require unusual attempts at life saving efforts. What does separate her is that she is not angry. She is not angry at God. She is not angry at anyone. She is accepting but hopeful. She is prayerful but realistic. She has the love of husband, children, grandchildren and friends.

I spent much time with her listening to her story. I left feeling empty and helpless. All I could offer were words, words of encouragement and words of spiritual awareness. I have encouraged some to say Psalms for her every day. She is on every Misheberach list I could find. Still I feel despondent because that is all I have to offer.

So I turn to my readers and ask if you know any way you can lend a hand. I urge you to call me or write me with whatever information you have available. I take this unusual step because of the message I have received through the High Holiday experience and significance of holiday called Sukkot.

There is something I read recently written by Rabbi Sheldon Zimmerman titled, A Prayer For Prayer. The following are excerpts from his offering:

O My God
My soul’s companion
My heart’s precious friend
I turn to you.

In your oneness, I find healing.
In the promise of Your love, I am soothed.
In Your wholeness, I too can become whole again.

Please listen to my call-
Help me find the words
Help me find the strength within
Help me shape my mouth, my voice, my heart
So that I can direct my spirit and find You in prayer
In words only my heart can speak
In songs only my soul can sing
Lifting my eyes and heart to You.

This is my prayer as we begin a New Year: A prayer for God’s guidance and understanding so that all who listen and read will find the courage to affect true Pekuach Nefesh for a woman called Barbara.

Rosh Hashanah 5772

2011-08-31T16:00:00.000-07:00

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

Soon we will gather in the Synagogue to celebrate another year as the old disappears and the new takes shape. What kind of year is passing and what kind of a year lies ahead? These are just two of the questions we will ask ourselves as we do each year at this time.

Some of us will wonder whether we did enough to matter and some will contemplate about things that never were and maybe will never be. Through it all, however, there is one constant theme that will resonate within us as we sit and sing and pray and listen and it is something I think about, not just at this season but all year long and is best illustrated by the following story:

A yeshiva student was having a discussion with his rabbi. “Someday, I too hope to become a rabbi,” said the youth. “Aside from my studies is there any other all-important qualification I will need?” “Yes, the stimulus of imagination,” replied the rabbi. “You will have to imagine that somebody is paying attention to what you say.”

I believe that all of us during our lifetime have wondered whether anyone listens to us, our children, our colleagues at work, our significant others, and even ourselves. We have a great deal to say because communicating is a significant way of connecting.

Sometimes we say things that really don’t matter and, of course, we do say things that affect our lives and those around us. Sometimes we say things that have different meanings because we are not clear and precise. Sometimes we say things we really don’t mean because we want to be sensitive to another’s feelings. And sometimes we say things that aren’t true because we are too ashamed or embarrassed as to our real intent.

The High Holidays give us an opportunity to say things to God we never thought we had the ability to utter. There are thoughts we have that mean so much because we are at a stage in life where minutes, hours, days, weeks and years are precious and not to be wasted.

It takes a great deal of imagination to pray that God is listening and hears our words because we cannot see, or touch, or even hear an answer. But it doesn’t take imagination to realize that answers can come from experiences and happenings that remind us we do matter. We see the miracles of life daily, but we tend to ignore them. We can touch a loved one because that touch awakens the understanding of togetherness and companionship. We do hear the sounds of laughter and the tears that fall when we lose someone we love or witness illness.

As we embark on another year we all should listen to our inner voice that tells us life is to live and treasure because it is a gift that keeps on giving.

May we all have a very happy New Year filled with laughter and love and good health and above all the ability to listen and hear.

Shanah Tovah!!

Sometimes it so difficult to say thank you!

2011-07-03T12:39:00.000-07:00

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

In God’s Little Acre, a compilation of inspirational stories, there is one narrative that caught my eye because it speaks to the problems we have communicating with each other, and in turn with God. It is especially difficult when we have to say, “I’m sorry,” but I believe just as embarrassing to say, “Thank you.” Perhaps it is because saying thank you indicates indebtedness and we are reluctant to be beholden to someone.

Regardless, it is part of human relationships and important primarily due to the fact that we tend to forget to say kind things, or are too busy. There is so much to be grateful for, especially as we begin to enter the season of forgiveness and gratitude. Our tradition teaches that even as we mourn a loved one, we end that grief with a prayer called “Kaddish.” It is not a prayer of sorrow but rather an affirmation of our understanding of life.

When darkness envelops us, we tend to concentrate on the loss and not remind ourselves of the goodness of life and the “Thank you” we owe God for sharing that life with us. It is so hard to say thank you when our pain seems to be too much to bear. But then, if we study the words, we get a clearer insight into birth and death and all that is in-between.

Thinking about this as we approach a time in our lives giving us the opportunity to step back and rejuvenate. Unfortunately we tend to wait for a prescribed time to be grateful and at the same time be regretful. And that is why the approaching season is so vital.

Perhaps the following story, taken from God’s Little Acre, will expand on these thoughts:

Charles Plumb, a U.S. Naval Academy graduate, was a jet pilot in Vietnam. After 75 combat missions, his plane was destroyed by a surface-to-air missile. Plumb ejected and parachuted into enemy hands. He was captured and spent 6 years in a communist Vietnamese prison. He survived the ordeal and now lectures on lessons learned from that experience.

One day, when Plumb and his wife were sitting in a restaurant, a man at another table came up and said, “You’re Plumb! You flew jet fighters in Vietnam from the aircraft carrier Kitty Hawk. You were shot down!” “How in the world did you know that?” asked Plumb. “I packed your parachute,” the man replied. Plumb gasped in surprise and gratitude. The man pumped his hand and said, “I guess it worked!” Plumb assured him, “It sure did. If your chute hadn’t worked, I wouldn’t be here today.”

Plumb couldn’t sleep that night, thinking about the man. Plumb says, “I kept wondering what he might have looked like in a Navy uniform: a white hat, a bib in the back, and bell-bottom trousers. I wonder how many times I might have seen him and not even said ‘good morning,’ how are you? Or anything because you see, I was a fighter pilot and he was just a sailor.” Plumb thought of the many hours the sailor had spent on a long wooden table in the bowls of the ship, carefully weaving the shrouds and folding the silks of each chute, holding in his hands each time the fate of someone he didn’t know.

Now, Plumb asks his audience, “Who’ packing your parachute?”

Everyone has someone who provides what they need to make it through the day. Plumb also pointed out that he needed many kinds of parachutes when his plane was shot down over enemy territory – he needed his physical parachute, his mental parachute, his emotional parachute, and his spiritual parachute. He called on all these supports before reaching safety.

Sometimes in the daily challenges that life give us, we miss what is really important. We may fail to say hello, please, or thank you, congratulate someone on something wonderful that has happened to them, give a compliment, or just something nice for no reason. Maybe we even ignore people because they are different.

As the weeks and months progress, recognize people who pack your parachute. Most importantly remember the One who packs all our parachutes both in times of sadness and in times of gladness.

Life is a blessing with all of its trials and tribulation, and yes sometimes it is difficult to say thank you, but we need to try. I really believe we will all feel something different and wonderful.

Questions That Deserve Answers

2011-06-19T16:40:00.000-07:00

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

Many times I am asked questions that have no answers, but just as many times there are questions that should be asnwered and should. For example:

Question:

" What is the proper way to mourn or grieve after losing a loved one?"

Answer:

Grieving is different for everyone. Some grieve because of guilt; some because of a sincere desire to show respect, and some grieve because it is expected.

To say that one of these is wrong is to do a disservice not only to ourselves but the the person we mourn. There is a loss. There is a void. There is an emptiness. There is so much of no more. Expressing our sorrow is one way of coping so that we can move-on and continue to live. After all, one of the highest tributes you can show is to contiue with life because life is contiual. If we did not continue to experience all that life has to offer, we ceratainly will not be able to remember for that is the secret to immortality: Remembrance.

Who will be left to remember, if we give-up and become so distraught that we wish not to live anymore. That is why it is an obligation.

Therefore, it is not how we grieve or why we choose to grieve, but rather that we do so to remember.

Question:

"What happens if we feel no need to express our distress because we find it difficult to do so?"

Answer:

Again, it is a matter of degree. I have known people who cannot even cry at such a sorrowful time. The tears will not flow and the omission seems to make it even more difficult.

Perhaps you weep in private; perhaps you have witnessed that special person's life slowly ebbing and all the mourning has been done over a long period of time.

We display grief in many ways. Among them is denial, frustration, and anger. It is possible that we just choose to ingnore this tragedy because it is too much to bear. All of these are expressions of grief.

The important thing to remember is that whichever way we observe calamity, none is wrong because we are the ones who determine the need.

There are many questions, as I mentioned, and I will endeavor to list them and my response to them in succeeding writings.

It is my prayer that you will, at the time, find an answer to your sadness through the expressions from family and friends as they attempt to lift the burden and share the unhappiness.

Shavuot

2011-05-15T07:57:00.000-07:00

Shavuot – Feast of Weeks – that is its meaning and commemorates many things in Jewish life they are all connected because they deal with time and commitment.

Time is counted from Passover to Shavuot – it is called counting of the Omer and relates to the harvest being ready for gleaning. On the fiftieth day the holiday of Shavuot is celebrated.

Shavuot has many names – “The Harvest Holiday” – “Feast of Weeks” because of the seven weeks that separates both holidays – “The Holiday of First Fruits” pertaining to the practice of bringing fruits to the Temple on Shavuot. Each of these names indicates various aspects of our lives: Harvest represents the ability to make our lives meaningful and productive; Weeks indicate to us the value of time and how precious time is to our existence and survival; Fruits remind us that our lives can be filled with excitement and completion and includes rejoicing with each milestone achieved.

But there is much more to this holiday than just enjoying the fruits of our labor. Shavuot, after the destruction of the Temple in 70CE was connected by the rabbis to the Revelation at Mt. Sinai, where the Israelites received the Ten Commandments and their religious maturity. It was the glue that bound them together for eternity.

There are many customs attributed to Shavuot. For example: Reading the Ten Commandments in the Synagogue; Studying the Book of Ruth which describes the story of two women: a Jewish woman named Naomi and her non-Jewish daughter-in-law Ruth. From here we learn of the classic commitment made by Ruth when her husband dies and Naomi encourages her to return to her people: “Whither thou goest I will go, they people will be my people.” This book is read during Shavuot because the episode occurred during the harvest season and her conversion reflects our acceptance of the Torah on Shavuot. We are also taught that Ruth’s great-great grandson, King David, was born and died on Shavuot.

Another custom that has no explanation as to its origin is the eating of dairy products on Shavuot. There are some scholars who suggest that this tradition began because of a particular poem found in the Song of Songs – “Honey and milk are under your tongue” – thereby connecting the sweetness of milk and honey to the Torah.

Finally there is the concept of all-night study. Many Yeshivas and Synagogues hold study programs that continue throughout the night until the morning when it is time to recite the morning prayers. This is a Kabalistic – mystical custom and is rather new and is used to instill in us the need for study to understand Torah.

Regardless of how the holiday is celebrated it is the significance that remains the important aspect of this eventful period in Jewish life. Life is a celebration and we are obligated to a commitment of survival because life is to live. Our concentration is not on where we go when our time has ended but rather where we are now in the journey each of us takes as we continue to encounter the goodness of that life as well as learning to endure the agonies associated with the journey as well. We need Shavuot to remind us of the gifts we enjoy and rejoice in the understanding that time is a reward.

And we end the holiday with the recitation of Yizkor – the memorial prayer for those we loved and lost. We do this because their time with us gave us the time we now have and will be the time we leave those who follow.

If we had to ‘bring the lesson of Shavuot into a single theme, it would be: Time is a friend if we make it so and we should be grateful to God for the time we have.

test

2011-05-11T14:04:00.000-07:00

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Can we ever see God?

2011-04-12T18:27:00.000-07:00

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

The great sage Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel wrote, “God is in search of man, as man is in search of God.” We all desire to know God, to feel God’s presence in our lives and, of course, to seek the help of God in times of trouble. Yes, it is true that God searches for us as strongly and as curiously as we search for God.

To understand this better we need to recount the episode in Exodus, 33:18 as Moses asks to see God’s glory. In reality, Moses wants to see God because even he found it difficult to understand a concept or a perception of something that can’t be imagined. “You will not be able to see My face, for no human can see My face and live.” Picture yourself having a conversation with a spirit that is alive and yet not formed. Most would say that you were mad or worse, perhaps, even delusional.

Then the climax of the encounter, “I shall shield you with My hand until I have passed. Then I shall remove My hand and you will see My back, but My face may not be seen.” God is invisible to the naked eye and here we learn about God in human terms about God’s hand, God’s face, God’s back. It is impossible to think or describe things other than how we were created as human beings. We touch, we feel, we smell, we hear and we see. These things we can understand, but to realize that there is a spirit that moves about the universe with none of these characteristics just does not seem possible.

Moses too has his doubts. It started with a bush that burned and was not consumed and continued through the ordeal of plagues and torments described but impossible to imagine. It was followed by a tumultuous voyage that witnessed miracle after miracle culminating in a spiritual connection that made Israel distinct in every way.

It is this distinction that makes Passover so significant. People fight for independence and freedom every day in all corners of the globe and yet, Israel’s fight was explicit in that it contained an element of intimacy with God. We constantly struggle to maintain that connection. Our ancestors found it difficult coming from a culture that saw many gods and now re-taught about one God. They could not understand the difference between invisible and visible. The Golden Calf represented the visibility of God and that gave them comfort.

We all need to feel the nearness of God. It is hard to imagine and we are no different than those who left Egypt in search of this nearness. We have our Golden Calves, whether it is wealth or beauty. However, we neglect to remember that we can find God’s nearness with everyday living or recovery from illness or the birth of a child or a marriage. Each day is an experiment that brings completion and fulfillment if we will it because we remember to love and allow ourselves to be loved. Most of all we need to show gratitude by sharing with others.

However, to me, the most important aspect of Passover is that our very existence is a compliment to God for the imprint on our lives as attested to by our ancestors and will remain a testament to our ability to persevere and prosper so that future generations will hear the same story and marvel as we do to the timeless message of emancipation.

Generation after generation retells the story because it fulfills the wishes and desires of all humankind. And as Moses exhorts Pharaoh to “let the people go” in their desire to worship God in peace and security, we are reminded that this is a clarion call for all people to be able to feel secure.

Yes, we searched for God, we still search for God. God searched for us and still searches for us and this episode in history affirms that the search is not complete and may never be. Just as we search for the leaven before the Passover begins, and as we search for the Afikomen during the Passover Seder, we need to continue to probe because Passover is the continuing search to see God.

Goodbye dear brother

2011-03-11T10:28:00.000-08:00

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

It was as though I had traveled through time and relived the moments of my youth when I heard, after no contact for almost three decades, that my brother had died. Over the years I had tried to locate him using several websites and contacts only to reach a dead-end.

He was career military. So, I contacted the Veterans Administration, and their response indicated that without a serial number they could not be of any assistance. Time and again I encountered erroneous leads. I spent money joining websites such as “People Search” and was give information that went nowhere. Constantly I was asked if I wanted to upgrade my membership and then perhaps new information would be available. It was an exercise in futility.

Finally, through an accident, I learned of a website that could direct me to a search for deceased members of the military and it was there that I learned of my brother’s death some twenty years earlier. It was devastating, to say the least, to learn that a younger sibling had died so young and without any family involved in his burial or that prayers were not recited to officially send him on his way for his return trip to the Creator who breathed life into him as described in Genesis: “God formed Adam out of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the neshamah of life; and Adam thus became a living creature.” (Genesis 2:7)

This experience made me think about the writings of our ancestors who understood the meaning of life and the messages we receive and the thoughts we encounter as we lose someone we love. There is a marvelous book: “Does the Soul Survive” in which various aspects of afterlife are studied and described as well as thoughts of the survival of the soul – that aspect of our existence that is housed in the shell we call the body. There is one particular story that seemed relevant to me because of the revelation I received of my loss. The story can be found in the book “Life After Life (1975) by Dr. Raymond Moody and describes the following life review which I changed indicating the male version of the experience as well as taking some liberties with the narration to fit my recollections:

When the light appeared, the first thing he said to me was, “What do you have to show me that you’ve done with your life?” or something to this effect. And that’s when these flashbacks started. I thought, “Gee, what is going on?” because all of a sudden I was back in my childhood. And from then on, it was like I was walking from the time of my very early life, right up to the present.

I pause here in the story to mention that this story describes my feelings and musings upon hearing the sad news of a brother who was 47 years old when he died and is a true expression of my encounter with his memory.

It was really strange where it started, too, when I was a little boy, playing down the street in our neighborhood, and there were other scenes from about that time-experiences I had with my brother, and things about the neighborhood people, and actual places I had been. And then I was in kindergarten, and I remembered the time when I had this one toy I really liked, and I broke it and cried for a long time…I remembered when I was in the Boy Scouts and went camping, and remembered many things about all the years of grammar school (actually Yeshiva)….

The things that flashed back came in order of my life, and they were so vivid. The scenes were just like if you walked outside and saw them, completely three-dimensional, and in color. And they moved. For instance, when I saw myself breaking the toy, I could see all the movements. It wasn’t like I was watching it all from my perspective at the time. It was like the little boy was somebody else, in a movie….

Now, I didn’t actually see the light as I was going through the flashbacks. He disappeared as soon as he asked me what I had done, and the flashbacks started, and yet I knew that he was there with me the whole time, that he carried me back through the flashbacks, because I felt his presence, and because he made comments here and there. He was trying to show me something in each of these flashbacks….

All through this, he kept stressing the importance of love. The places where he showed it best involved my sister (I have a sister); I have always been close to her….

He seemed very interested in things concerning knowledge, too. He kept pointing out things that had to do with learning, and he said that I was going to continue learning.

How strange. The author could have been writing about me and my brother and sister. It is as though he were sitting with me and writing my biography. I could not put the book down. The flashbacks were so real and the description of them so authentic. It reminded me of the Talmudic interpretation of the meaning of the soul when they described that just as God fills the whole world so does the soul fill the whole body. We are nothing without the soul for it is the essence of who we are. God contributes to the beauty of the world through continuous creation and the soul is eternal as well.

The eternal question is whether there is life after death and how we get there. Needless to say, faith plays an important role in determining our understanding of eternal life. More than that, however, is our perception of continuity. What exactly constitutes continuity? The dictionary describes this as perpetuation and that refers to everlastingness. We go full circle in determining the never ending cycle of birth and death. And it leads to the question: “What is the purpose of creation if it ends?”

From time immemorial we have yearned to learn about the continuation of our being. Judaism does not concentrate on this because our emphasis is life and not death. The prophets attempted to explain the “world to come” by explaining that the results are determined by God. Isaiah tells us that God alone knows what He prepared for him that waits for them because “no eye has seen and no ear has heard, O God, beside you.”

Our tradition teaches that the soul, upon leaving the body, encounters various conditions as it prepares itself for its ultimate destination – the return to its Creator. Our tradition of Shiva – sitting for seven days is designed to allow us the opportunity to absorb the loss, endure the pain and the as the Psalmist tells us: “Walk through the Valley of Death.” We don’t dwell on death – we mourn – we remember – and we continue with life.

Our custom is to say Kaddish (prayers of sanctification) – not prayers of death but utterances of gratitude for the life that was shared – for 11 months. This is the time, the mystics tell us, it takes for the soul to wind its way toward its ultimate destination. We should look at the Kaddish prayer as a “booster shot” – giving the soul the ability to make the journey. And in the end the soul rests in its Heavenly repose waiting to be born again.

We are taught that when the soul is called to make the journey back it is touched by an angel below the nose, removing the light of understanding, and sends it on its way. In that split second the soul forgets all that it has experienced and enters the world crying, having lost the place of redemption it fought so hard to achieve.

My brother is now remembered for what he was to us. We will miss him now because the search is over. We mourn his passing and are grateful to God for having given us (my sister and I) the ability to close an unfinished chapter in the story of our lives.

We say Kaddish now because, even though his journey ended quite some time ago, for us it has just begun. The memories will flow, the reminisces will continue, the guilt has been assuaged and he now rests in peace. Somehow I know that he waited for us to find him and say goodbye.

Goodbye sweet brother.

Where is God?

2011-02-09T14:21:00.000-08:00

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

A couple had two little boys, ages 8 and 10, who were excessively mischievous. The

two were always getting into trouble and their parents could be assured that if any

mischief occurred in their town, their two young sons were in some way involved.

The parents were at their wits’ end as to what to do about their sons’ behavior.

The mother had heard that a rabbi in town had been successful in disciplining

children in the past (not by hitting them on their fingers if they mispronounced

their Hebrew lessons), so she asked her husband if he thought they should send

the boys to speak with the rabbi.

The husband said, “We might as well. We need to do something before I really

lose my temper!” The rabbi agreed to speak with the boys, but asked to see

them individually. The eight-year old went to meet him first. The rabbi sat the boy

down and asked him sternly, “Where is God?”

The boy made no response, so the rabbi repeated the question in an even sterner

tone, “Where is God?” Again the boy made no attempt to answer. So the rabbi raised

his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy’s face, “Where is God?”

At that the boy bolted from the room and ran directly home, slamming himself in the

closet. His older brother followed him into the closet and asked what happened. The

younger brother replied, “We are in BIG trouble this time. God is missing and they

think we did it!”

I thought of this story when recounting the many deeds of benevolence performed

by so many.
Many things happen during our journey of life – happy as well as

sad events occur that give us pause. Sometimes we wonder about the existence of

God and even question God’s participation in our lives. Some even doubt that God

is a reality. How could bad things happen to good people? How is it possible for

children to suffer? Why is there poverty and hunger? The questions are, in some

instances, mind boggling.

But then I look around and see the wonders of God in the works of His creation – you!

The men and women who strive to bring meaning to our lives through our religious

expressions are the personification of a truth – and that truth is that God works through

us to accomplish the impossible. We are a practical people. We do not wait for

miracles to happen – we create these miracles that give us strength and purpose and

meaning. This is how God works – we are the miracles waiting to occur.

Each of us can make life more bearable. Each of us can lift the burdens of despair.

Each of us can comfort and offer solace in times of sorrow. This is how God works –

we are the legions sent by God.

We, are blessed because many men, women and children, regardless of background

and age display a dedication, not only to our own survival and continuity, but also the

larger community, knowing full well that each of us is responsible for the many – not just

a few. Maimonides reminded us of this when he wrote that God wants your heart,

because the intention of your heart is the measure of what you do.

As a rabbi I watch in amazement, the many miracles performed, mostly unknowingly,

in the name of God. We may not think about God when we perform these acts of

loving kindness, but believe me, they are the miracles of everyday life. Each day our

participation ensures that the many faces of God are revealed and we are reminded of

this through our actions.

Where is God? He is sitting in every sanctuary, every pew occupied by all

of you. We don’t have to worry about God being missing – He will never be missing

as long as you are here. And, if by some chance, He is missing, it is only because we

permitted Him to slip through our fingers of indifference and disregard for the sanctity of

life.

The Pain of Loss

2011-01-21T11:06:00.000-08:00

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

The mystics teach us that to appreciate the joy and fulfillment of life we must experience pain. The teachings go further with an example of thirst. We surely can appreciate water if we are thirsty but if we satisfy that thirst and then given a glass of some other cool refreshing drink we would not want to indulge because our need has been satisfied. The conclusion reached is that agony and ecstasy were created because life does not exist with just one or the other.

Sometimes we lose sight of this fact. We rush to accomplish so much we tend to ignore the signs of defeat. Nothing that is ever accomplished is done without working at it and, in some instances, struggling for it. Even those who inherit must work at keeping what is given so that it can enrich their lives and those that follow.

And there are losses that have no comparison. These losses create in us a vacuum that defies explanation. The most devastating of these is the loss of a child. We understand that in the course of human existence the younger bury the older. But when we are faced with the task of opening the earth to receive a child, not only do we mourn, but the angels sob uncontrollably for the pain which this loss inflicts.

Life is filled with anticipation and expectation. We melt into a dream of delightful embrace and complete this magical adventure by bringing forth another human-being. We look at this creation and begin the journey of contemplation and anticipation. Should he be a doctor, should she be a teacher? Will she look like her mother or he like his father? Will I make the same mistakes my parents made or will I be different? I will be the best parent. That is my pledge as I watch this tiny creature reach out to touch the world.

These dreams and visions are interrupted by tragedy. Our child has died and so has our posterity. The romantic notions of success and abundance are lost in a tunnel of emptiness and despair. There is no light in this tunnel, just a darkness that envelops
and consumes us. We sink into the depths of dejection. Where is my little one? Why is there an empty bed and an empty place in our heart? Why can’t I cry? I need to shed tears where smiles once lived and grieve for the hopelessness. I am stunned and frozen. Everything moves around me but I am motionless.

I recall the cry of King David when he learned of the death of his son Absalom: “O my son Absalom, my son, my son Absalom! Could it only be, I would die for you, O Absalom, my son, my son!” (II Samuel 19:1) Nothing brings more joy than to see our children grow and prosper and then the greatest of pain gives us pause and we too are consumed by the madness of a forfeited future.

Is this what the mystics referred to in their declarations of pain endurance? Must there be bereavement in order to appreciate life? We all know that we are born to die, but there are paths to the end of days and they should not include the young. Age is a blessing that is not just reserved for the aged but rather a gift earned through great effort. Are not the young entitled to experience the durability associated with growth?

I believe that our ancestors were trying to teach us how to cope with adversity, some so devastating as to cause us to languish in total sadness. I believe the message is that terrible things happen and we have the ability to overcome these troublesome experiences by learning to extend a helping hand and to comfort and offer solace. This is our obligation as human-beings. This is our duty as survivors.

We need not try to make sense of diminishing involvement but rather take the memory of the love we gave and the love we received and bundle into a treasure chest of keepsakes and recollections. We must endeavor to release the guilt because it only prolongs the agony and causes us to fall deeper into the pit. There is no one to blame. And for sure God was not there to steal the future but rather to aid in the comfort needed to walk through the valley into a new day, a new life, a new beginning. We never forget, but we can’t stop time and remain in this spot forever.

I am reminded of a story of two men, both seriously ill, who occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each day to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to room’s only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in military service, where they had been on vacation.

Every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window. The man in other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside. The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst the flowers of every color, and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.

As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene. One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man couldn’t hear the band – he could see it in his mind’s eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words. Days and weeks passed. One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed. It faced a blank wall. The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window. The nurse responded that man was blind and could not even see the wall. She said, “Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.”

I believe that is what the ancients were trying to tell us when they talked about pain and how to appreciate it because of the painless possibilities in our lives. It is never easy to explain away a loss – a loss of a child, but maybe we should try to understand that pain can be relieved with hope and faith and a belief that things happen and we need to learn to role with the punches so that life will continue.

We never forget but we learn to live with memories that can and should help us reach another day filled with light and sunshine and the promise of tomorrow.

Cpmpassion

2011-01-13T07:40:00.000-08:00

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

As is my custom, I set aside two days a week to concentrate on writing and studying. Occasionally I come across something that hits me and inspires me to sit down at the computer and begin writing. Today (Sunday, January 9th) was such a day. And the lesson involves compassion.

It occurred to me that usually during this time of the year we commemorate a particular tradition called Gemilut Hesed – acts of loving kindness demonstrated by charitable expressions. At this time a section of the Torah (Bible) that is read at Sabbath Services is referred to as Mishpatim (Exodus 21). Loosely translated the word means rules and within this chapter we find rules that enabled us to create a livable society.

For example it specifically mentions that we are prohibited from charging interest with loans intended to alleviate financial hardships. The need for assistance should not be compromised with additional debt. It is a noble idea and well before its time in understanding the responsibilities we have toward people who find themselves unable to meet everyday requirements such as food or shelter.

One of the very first things we did, as a people, when we settled into new surroundings was to establish Benevolent Societies which were designed to prevent people from becoming burdens on society. However, just as important was the concept of giving those in need the ability to survive with dignity. The Talmud emphasizes that to embarrass an individual is tantamount to the spilling of blood; in other words, the taking of a life.

The Jewish Free Loan Associations were established to provide help by lending what was needed, without interest thus enabling communities to benefit from collective renewal. These loans enabled people to become self-sufficient in a way that was beneficial to them and everyone around them. In essence the needy were taught to lift their heads high because these were not hand-outs.

And there is a benefit to those who contribute to this effort: the funds donated are never gone because they are loaned over and over again and as the loans are repaid they are lent again. There is no social service program in existence that can make that claim.

Monies that remain after all have been served are invested so that the income from these funds defray the cost of operating this Society dedicated to relieving human suffering by offering the impetus for self-determination.

This is the essence of Gemilut Hesed – of benevolence that is not charity. And those who contribute to this action are the true heroes by saving the world one person at a time.

Some Thoughts About LIfe

2010-12-22T20:28:00.000-08:00

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

As we age it seems that the gates to eternity open too frequently. So many people have begun a different journey; a journey that does not include our participation but brings tears to our eyes and thoughts of our own mortality.

The difficulty in saying farewell leaves an ache that permeates our being. The absence can sometimes be daunting and we begin to question whether we did enough or said enough to really matter. People, in general, do not remember what we say, what we did, but they will always remember how you made them feel. I was reminded of this when I read the following story:

The Cab Ride
(Author unknown)

Twenty years ago, I drove a cab for a living. It was great being my own boss with no one to answer to. What I didn’t realize was that it was also a ministry. Because I drove the night shift, my cab became a moving confessional. Passengers climbed in, sat behind me in total anonymity, and told me about their lives. I encountered people whose lives amazed me, ennobled me, and made me laugh and weep.

But none touched me more than the woman I picked up late one August night.

I was responding to a call from a small brick fourplex in a quiet part of town. I assumed I was being sent to pick up some partiers, or someone who had just had a fight with a lover, or a worker heading to an early shift at some factory.

When I arrived at 2:30 a.m., the building was dark except for a single light in a ground floor window. Many drivers would probably just honk, wait a minute, and then drive away. But I had seen too many impoverished people who depended on taxis as their only means of transportation. Unless a situation smelled of danger, I always went to the door. Perhaps this person needed some assistance, I reasoned to myself. So I walked to the door and knocked.

“Just a minute,” answered a frail, elderly voice. After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 80s stood before me dragging a suit case, wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets. There were no clocks on the walls, any knickknacks or utensils on the counters. And in the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware.

“Would you carry my bag to the car?” she asked. I took the suitcase to the cab then returned to assist the woman. She kept thanking me for my kindness. “It’s nothing,” I replied. “I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother treated.” “Oh, you’re such a good boy,” she said. When we got in the cab, she gave me the address, and then asked, “Could you drive through downtown?” “It’s not the shortest way,” I answered. “Oh, I don’t mind,” she said. “I’m in no hurry. I’m on my way to a hospice.” I looked in the rearview mirror. Her eyes were glistening. “I don’t have any family left,” she continued. “The doctor says I don’t have very long.”

I quietly turned off the meter. “What route would you like me to take?” I asked.

For the next few hours we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked, the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds. She asked me to stop in front of a warehouse and told me that it once was a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl. Sometimes she would ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.

As the sun began to rise, she suddenly said, “I’m tired. Let’s go now.”

We drove in silence to the address she had given me. It was a convalescent home. Two orderlies came out and watching every move, they helped her. I guess they were expecting her.

I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already in a wheelchair. “How much do I owe you?” she asked, reaching into her purse. “Nothing,” I said. “You have to make a living,” she answered. “There are other passengers,” I responded. I bent down to give her a hug. She held onto me tightly. “You gave an old woman a little moment of joy,” she said. “Thank you.” I walked away. Behind me a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life.

All sorts of thoughts ran through my mind like, “What if someone didn’t take the time to be with her or drive her around or listen to her stories?” I don’t think I ever did anything more important in my life. We are conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments. But great moments often catch us unaware-beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.

The year 2011 is around the corner and with it the same troubles that were there just a short while ago. Will this year be different or will it be the same? The challenges are great, the effort seems futile. And then I remember a story titled, “The Cab Ride.”

Many such stories can be found in the journey we take but the important thing to remember is that our world is so fragile and we are so dependent on each other and are very important to each other. The rest seems so insignificant. Don’t you agree?

Understanding and Faith

2010-12-07T13:39:00.000-08:00

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

Around this time each year we agonize over Hanukkah and Christmas. The greatest anxiety deals with whether these are truly religious holidays or the invention of merchants designed to encourage us to spend – spend – spend. Our celebrations have become a test of commercial endurance.

Christians claim that Jesus is no longer the central thought of the holiday and Jews decry the importance given to Hanukkah because of its proximity to Christmas.

First, allow me to address the concerns of our Christian neighbors and friends: No one can take the significance of the holiday away from you – only you can do that. How much emphasis is put into the giving and receiving instead of the message was not invented by others. Some non-Christians even complain when someone says “Merry Christmas” to them, knowing full well that they don’t celebrate the holiday. I suggest that it is a greeting of happiness and expectation – the willingness to share their joy with others and is not intended to insult but rather include them in the spirit of grace and gratitude.

Second, the Jewish commemoration of Hanukkah has developed into a contest. Presents and decorations are the order of the day, not the significance of the first episode in recorded history where people fought for their religious freedom. The lights on the Menorah are to remind us of the light offered us by God to live in peace and share that moment of redemption so that others can be what they want, do what they want, pray as they want and believe as they want.

So each year the dilemma of the holidays especially in interfaith households dominates the need for identification. There is the desire to show sensitivity and respect but there is a strong feeling of emptiness because the true meaning of the holidays are lost in the tangled web of evenness. One holiday should not be celebrated more than the other so not to offend. The explanation to children becomes difficult because they seem to feel the tension and confusion.

Everyone forgets that there is a connection between the two holidays other than the time of the year. The relationship can be found in one word: Light.

Christmas is a time of lights whether on a tree or in the decorations or the luminaries found on walkways that are designed to lead Christians to the path of birth and redemption. Forget that this is the darkest time of the year so the lights are there to illuminate our path thus avoiding the dark places of despair. While that may sound good and perhaps was the original intent of the lights, it has come to signify more and we should all respect the need for spiritual guidance that the lights are designed to enhance.
Hanukkah too is a time of lights. We all know the story of the one cruise of oil found in the Temple in Jerusalem when the Maccabees defeated the Syrian-Greek army and rushed to cleanse the Temple of all the defilement. The Menorah which was the symbol of the eternalness of God because the flame was never extinguished and is replicated today by the Eternal Light found over the Ark of the Covenant containing the Holy Scriptures, the Torah, needed oil to burn. The Talmud tells us that there was only enough oil for one night and it took eight days to purify and produce the oil and miracle of miracles, it lasted the eight days until new oil could be manufactured.

It doesn’t matter whether you believe the story or even if it is true, what does matter is what the story signifies to us and to all humanity: that the light of truth and dignity and freedom cannot be extinguished as long as we believe in the sanctify of life.

The religious freedom that was won 2400 years ago has been the light for all generations whether it be a light in the sky signifying a birth or a light in a mind bringing the message of salvation or a light on a table allowing us to feel free to read what we wish and understand the wishes and dreams of others.

Many things have happened throughout the course of history that should not be repeated. Many things have also happened throughout history which do need repeating and are lost in the hate and bigotry that cause the lights to go out. This time of the year should remind us of the eternal struggle of good and evil. We visit our respective houses of worship and pray for goodness to survive, for evil to be eradicated.

The lights are there to remind us that God cannot do this for us. He is lighting the way for us to do these things for ourselves. This is the message of Christmas. This is the message of Hanukkah. We need to allow the lights of the season to guide us in the path of survival. We all need the light – we all need each other.

To my Christian friends, it is my pleasure to say to you – “Merry Christmas.” To each other, it is an honor to say – “Happy Hanukkah.” Our prayer should be whether Jew of Gentile, whether Christmas or Hanukkah celebrant, that we use the lights – the common lights – to teach us true brotherhood and friendship.

AMEN

You Just Don't Get It, Thomas L. Friedman

2010-12-03T04:14:00.000-08:00

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

In his column titled: “I believe I can fly,” (N.Y. Times, November 14, 2010) the predictable anti-Israel rhetoric remains strong and vibrant. It doesn’t matter that what he writes deals with today with no regard for yesterday. It doesn’t matter that what he suggests is rooted in disdain for a people and their ideals and ideas. It doesn’t matter that he places Israel at the top of his list of distortions neglecting the other more important aspects of human tragedies that are too numerous to mention. What matters to him is that Israel be singled out for public denunciation and disesteem.

He writes about the Prime Minister of Israel, referring to him as “Bibi, “a nickname given to him by friends, not using his formal name, Benjamin Netanyahu. If this does not smack of irreverence, I don’t know what does.

Once again the issue of “settlements” is raised and brought to the front of the issues facing Israel and its neighbors. We have President Obama to thank for that because until he made this a cause for condemnation, it never really was a true issue as it has become. How forgetful we conveniently become when all we have to look back and remember is that at each turn in the long struggle for survival new obstacles are put in the road. New speed bumps are added to the equation bringing us to the undeniable conclusion that accommodation is not the order of the day.

It is ironic that the liberal commentators and the liberal media, claiming to be impartial and unbiased, refuse to listen to their own distortions of truth and fabrications. Liberalism today does not allow for differing opinions. Their mantra has become ensconced in the dogmatic approach to subjects they hold dear.

There was a time when true discourse was part of the American political agenda. There were always extremists on both sides, but there was a respect that enabled people to bring to the forefront their vision of a world of common decency. From the very beginning of our existence as a nation we understood the value of opinions and how they can be instrumental in determining our future. But we also knew that when the dust settled the will of the majority prevailed.

No we see recriminations and distrust that permeate our thinking and attitudes.
We are no longer civil. We no longer continue life content that tomorrow may bring another set of standards. The system of government we designed gives us the opportunity to continue the debate because there are many sides to every discussion. And while we join together in adjusting to the order of things, we still have the ability to make changes through a process called elections.

Conservatives make their point and liberals argue just as forcefully. That is the American way. However, we have become a fragmented society with no room for give and take, no room for maneuvering or compromise. Government has become polarized to the extent that we shout at each other rather than taking a considerate approach.

All this leads me back to the original premise of this article: getting it wrong because of prejudice and bias; disseminating information that is slanted and perverted. Israel has become the Goliath of Biblical proportions. No matter its desire and need to live in peace with its neighbors. At every turn in its existence it has been singled out as a pariah. If only Israel would disappear all would be right with the world. Look at the list of accomplishments of the U.N: The single most discussed issue deals with Israel. On numerous occasions in its sixty-five year history, this body has condemned and demonized this tiny bastion of hope and redemption.

History is replete with lesson after lesson of futile attempts to annihilate Israel and yet we survive. Is there a message here? I believe so. And the lesson is simple and comes straight from Scripture: “Those who curse Israel will themselves be cursed, but those who bless Israel will receive the blessings they so richly deserve.” (Genesis, 12:1-3) And if Scripture is not sufficient to draw any conclusions then perhaps short walks down the lane of history will give you pause to reflect.

To begin, Israel is no saint among all the sinners. It has contributed its share of mistakes and will probably do so in the future. That is because we, like everyone else, are human with human frailties and human fallibilities. But the rest of the world has demonstrated this rush to judgment. The fact that these pronouncements are motivated by fear and intimidation and not by truth surely makes them exercises in futility. Truth is the one fabric in the weave of human existence that remains central to the salvation of civilized society. Without truth there can be no expectation of connection and survival.

Israel stands at the crossroads of civilizations quest for acceptance. It wants to be part of an ever shrinking world. Its citizens are primarily interested in surviving an onslaught of vilification from every corner of the globe. Our own country, which stood by it from the very beginning, seems to be joining in the chorus of damnation starting from the very top. It is not a comfortable situation because we know the value of the Jewish experience in America. We learned from hard work and perseverance that success is not to be taken for granted. We learned, only to well, the meaning of “There arose a Pharaoh who knew not Joseph.” (Exodus, 1:8)

It seems that at every chapter in our history as a people we had to justify our worth and demonstrate over and over again the contributions made to the societies in which we were sent and even fled. And here in the United States these advances only reinforced our belief in the goodness and justice we found and a feeling of gratitude owed for this benevolence.

When you look at the map of the world and focus on the middle-east there is a tiny country. And when you spell out its name it extends into the ocean because it is so small and the word Israel does not even fit in the space of its entity. This is the same country that Thomas L. Friedman considers a threat to all of us. This same country who, time and again, offered itself up for sacrifice all in the name of accommodation. This is the same country which endured untold hardships as it attempted to find its place in the deliberations of human survival. This is the same country that extends its hand only to have it slapped because it shouldn’t be here at all. This is the same country that has fought valiantly to maintain its identity not only as a nation born out of the ashes of despair to realize its true redemption. This is the same country that has offered its scientists and technicians and humanitarians for the betterment of humankind through its research and development from irrigation to medicine and mathematics and literature and the arts.

So, Mr. Friedman, and all and whomever you represent, I suggest that you look to history to understand what you have described as a fantasy waiting for the impossible. In your zeal to make sense of the insensitivity that surrounds this tiny bastion of democracy and freedom and acceptance of all, you have neglected to remember from whence we came and how the world makes little effort to hide the contempt. Could it be that we don’t want to face the truth and realize that without Israel there is no future for anyone?

We are a people who believe that “pigs can fly.” We are pragmatists who understand that they can if you put wings on them. Yes, I believe we too can fly – that is who we are – that is what we represent – that is what makes us survivors regardless of your desire for us not to. Perhaps that is why we are at the top of your list.

You just don’t get it and it’s a guarantee that you never will.

A Debt That Cannot Be Repaid

2010-11-11T07:14:00.000-08:00

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

On July 4th, the anniversary of America’s freedom from tyranny, I glanced at the cover of the New York Times. There I saw a picture of a soldier who had lost all his limbs in combat. The caption read: “No less of a person.” I was so moved by the picture and the thought because it brought to the forefront the realization that war is hell! No question about it.

Each generation has had battles to fight whether on the field or in the trenches. Our generation is no different. And yet we are different because the conventional waging of war is not the norm today. Today we face enemies from within and without who wear no uniform, understand no discipline and follow no prescribed tables of battle plans or methods taught in the colleges of war.

Most wars are fought because of economics. Today’s wars are waged by zealots who’s only purpose is to create havoc while randomly murdering innocent people. The ultimate goal is to subjugate and dominate, we are told, because of ideological differences and religious intolerance.

I looked at the picture over and over again. The pain on the soldier’s face was evident. I wondered, “Was it the pain of his agony or the pain of his sacrifice?” Perhaps it was the pain of trying to understand and make sense of his offering. I thought of all the men and women serving our country that have made similar commitments of body and mind and tried to imagine how I would feel or what I would be thinking as I suffered through the ordeal.

None of us who are whole can truly understand the torment of living a different life that now requires constant care and help. The agony of not being able to wash or dress or walk or catch a ball; the anguish of realizing that there will longer be normal relationship with a loved one or a partner; the constant reminder that life consists of looking at a ceiling, or just reading a book or watching television, all come into play in the afflicted existence of a person who was once whole and vibrant.

Dr. Louis L. Mann, Rabbi of Sinai Congregation in Chicago, wrote two interesting observations that I believe speak to the problems facing the men and women who serve in the military today and have experienced untold horrors on the field of battle.

The first: “Only eyes washed by tears can see clearly.” There is no doubt that there have been nights and days when all seemed lost and the future looked even dimmer. Waking each day to the realization that what once was is no more. Gazing at the emptiness that once filled sleeves and pant-legs can be daunting.

The second: “What happens to a man is less significant than what happens within him.”
And here is the crux of the internal struggle that accompanies the loss of limbs. We all know that there are ghost pains – limbs that are no longer there seem to be calling out, looking at the void and wondering about the touching and feeling that gave it life and fulfillment. Where are the legs that once took us to places we can longer remember?

At a recent meeting of a veterans organization I listened to an Iraqi War veteran tell about his experiences and the marvel of science and how it put him back together. He lost a limb and one eye and modern medicine created a limb and a bionic eye. If he had not told us, we would never have believed. And as he displayed these wonders we sat in amazement and awe.

Then he made a startling pronouncement that the government, our government, which sent him into battle, refuses to help others with these miracles because it was too costly. Everyone in the room was shocked to learn that there are funds for everything but not to make people whole again.

We read about saving financial institutions and helping industrial giants regain their significance in our economic downturn. We watch, on TV, the millions of dollars spent in faraway places to bolster corrupt regimes. We discourage democracies by touting demagogues who want nothing more than to see us destroyed. We do all this but cannot find the will or the resources to do what we can to give meaning to lives that have been shattered by war.

These men and women serve our country because they want to, not because we demand it of them. We no longer have a draft system where we indiscriminately take men and women from their daily exercise and throw them into some makeshift environment and take time, their time, from them. All the more reason we need to acknowledge the debt owed.

Every day the newspapers relate stories of depression and homelessness. Veterans who gave their all are now living on the street and cannot receive the help they need and deserve. Where is our humanity for them? When there is a flood somewhere in the world, or an earthquake in a distant land, we load planes and send aid and help those looking for assistance. And we do this as a caring nation of people who understand what it means to have and not share. We do all this, and it is right and as it should be.

What happened to the compassion for us right here at home? Where is the connection to the people of Louisiana or Mississippi or Georgia as they struggle to clean their shores of contamination? Why don’t we feel the pain of struggling families who lost their homes or jobs? And where, Oh where, is our desire to pay the debt we owe those who serve our country by wearing its uniform with courage and distinction?

This country is involved in a great struggle. There is an enemy we cannot know or understand because there is no logic to their destructive behavior other than to dominate and control the very essence of our individuality. And it is a different world with senseless killing and unnecessary dying, scary and intimidating. But each instance has produced it share of volunteers and patriots and heroes. I would imagine the generations that fought in previous wars felt the same apprehension and fright; whether it was the Revolutionary War or the War to End All Wars.

We volunteered because we were motivated by love of country and understood the value of freedom. Each generation packaged the gift of freedom because the gravest error that can be made is to take freedom for granted. Each generation knew that it was their determination and fortitude that would protect it and guard it for the next generation and the next.

Not everyone is motivated by love of country. Most, however, answered the call to duty. In times past we would romanticize war until we were faced with the reality of it and all its horrors. There are graves, millions of them, on what was once, blood soaked ground and each marker indicates that there once stood a person who lived and died. That was then. What about now?

Now we, from the comfort of our homes, can watch the slaughter. We erect monuments and arrange parades and pin medals. Everyone seems to be an expert about yesterday. But through it all we still send our men and women to war because it is the only way humans have of protecting life and limb. We have not found the secret to survival through discourse.

This soldier who lost his limbs is truly “no less of a person” and we owe a debt that can never be repaid. He represents all that is good in us and all that is bad as well. The goodness is the sacrifice we are willing to make to protect, defend and preserve a dream that began 234 years ago and resonates today even more. The goodness can be found in the millions who serve, who give of themselves so that we can enjoy the beauty of freedom and the values established by a few for so many.

The bad is displayed by our indifference and the lack of respect we display by ignoring the traumas of these dedicated individuals. The bad can be found in our neglect of the homeless veterans and the disgrace in not giving them the proper care and attention because it “costs too much.”

Perhaps one day we will wake-up to our responsibilities. In the meantime all we can do is pray that those in harm’s way will find their way back home in peace and whole. In the meantime we should never lose sight of their sacrifice for honor and country. In the meantime we all pray that God will watch over them as we look with pride on their achievements understanding full well that the debt we owe can never be repaid, but we never stop trying.

System Maintenance Test

2010-11-07T20:55:00.000-08:00

System Maintenance Test

God's Personal Involvement

2010-10-09T07:32:00.000-07:00

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

(This is a sermon I delivered honoring our volunteers. I am sure most can relate to these words and I offer them to encourage praticipation by all in our desire to extend a helping-hand to those needing that special feeling of connection.)

Numerous times I am asked why in Biblical text God seems to be personally involved in our daily lives. And now He seems to be so remote? Chapter after chapter in the Torah and in the Prophets and in the Writings (the Talmud and other rabbinic texts) God appears in concrete ways.

For example: When the Patriarchs are developing and fine-tuning their understanding of God there are conversations that take place one-on-one. When the Israelites are enslaved for over 200 years God appears to Moses and urges him to partner with Him in the redemption that is about to take place.

The Prophets have discourse with God, receive messages and transmit them to the people; the first kings, Saul, David, and Solomon have direct involvement and even create sonnets and poems and messages that transcend time and are with us to this day. What makes us any different from our ancestors? Why is it we don’t seem to be able to have direct contact with God? Has something gone wrong with the system?

So I search for answers, as I am sure many of you do, especially when some issue arises that creates in us a need for that spiritual connection. Most often these occasions are sad in nature because it is rare that we take the time to offer our gratitude for the good things that are part of our lives.

Consider this: When we decide to begin a family, we make all kinds of plans. They might include names that we have dreamt of or perhaps how they will be raised, or even the schools they may attend. And. Of course, we always think that we are going to be different parents than our parents were. We won’t make the same mistakes.

Then the day arrives. We are so excited. We start to nurture and are as attentive as we possibly can be. We teach them to crawl, to walk, to talk. Each step of the way we are there to encourage and “kvel.”

Finally the day arrives when they look you in the eye and say goodbye. They are off to find their fortune, to make their place in the world, to find someone to share the next phase in their journey toward total independence.

No longer are they asking and seeking, inquiring and arguing. No longer do they need us to prop them up when they falter or shore them up when they fail. No longer are they daddy’s little girl or mommies “shayna punim.” Where have the years gone? Where is the toothless face that looks at us and wonders why we are so big and they are so small? Where is the bruised knee or the climbing on the sofa to sit on our lap?

Yes, our child has grown-up.

Now, transfer that thought to a God who created us, nurtured us, taught us to fend for ourselves, even talked to us in ways that we can’t even begin to imagine. God started us on our journey with a garden filled with delights for the sight and the senses. God then said to us that it was time to move-on, stand on our own two feet.

God was there to direct us and guide us. God gave us laws and instructions that were intended to bring us closer to ourselves so that we could make-it. No longer was God there to tuck us in, to tell us stories, to wipe our tears. Now we had to learn for ourselves how to survive, not totally alone, but as independent free thinkers with choices to make.

All this leads us to another question:: Why pray? If God is remote, no longer part of our daily lives, why bother? The truth is that God is here in two ways: First and foremost, when we pray we are having a direct conversation with God and the answer to our prayers may not seem so apparent, but there are answers to prayers. We see it daily with things that happen that affect our lives in profound ways. We see them answered in birth, and recovery from illness and comfort during times of distress. Second, and just as important, we see it in each other when we extend ourselves. We volunteer for all types of activities that are designed to bring aid and comfort to those in need. Some volunteer with resources, some with time and some with encouragement for others because of time constraints or infirmities that prevent us from being actively involved.

This is God working through us. This is God talking through us. This is God personally involved through us. That is called partnership and is what God intended from the very beginning. We honor this evening all those who do God’s work. Because as the saying goes: God can’t be everywhere at every moment, so He created volunteers.

We are a very fortunate congregation. Not only do we show love and affection by our caring, but we put into action those attributes that make us responsive to everyone who is in need for that extra tender touch, that extra tender smile, that extra attentive ear.

Early 18th century poet and Kabbalist, Moses Lazzatto wrote that the habit of loving-kindness is an ingredient of saintliness. The Hebrew word for saintliness comes from the same base word that implies kindness. Conducting oneself with loving kindness toward others is one of the three foundations wherein the world, according to our Sages, is premised.

How fortunate we are. Thank you to all who serve. God continue to bless you and the works you perform. God continue to bless us, the beneficiaries of that service. Blessed be God who is continually involved with us personally and collectively.

A Beginning With No End

2010-09-26T08:03:00.000-07:00

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

Each year we begin the reading of the Torah all over again. The lesson is quite simple: There is no end to learning. We think, as we read, that having read it before we cannot learn anything new and then a new thought, a new understanding of the same sentence enables us to forge a new concept or idea. Isn’t that what learning is all about?

In the first Book of the Torah we begin to realize the depth of experiences during our lifetime. We journey from Creation to destruction and then creation again. God talks and the world comes into being. God regrets and the world descends once more into the same abyss that was there at the very start of this encounter with time.

Noah is left to carry-on so that this beginning will result in a different future. No longer are we innocent strays wandering aimlessly with no purpose or meaning. The master plan is taking shape as directed by the Master builder.

Imperfections exist in the human story. We are told of these failings because life is not perfect and our partnership with the Creator is the eternal quest for perfection. Perhaps it is an unattainable goal, but it is part of our pursuit for connection.

We float to Abraham who, with all his shortcomings is determined to maintain that bridge to eternal salvation through a chain of events that result in the creation of a ladder of evolving climbing to greater heights filled with awe and fulfillment.

The chain of tradition remains the link of all the generations that will follow until this very day.

The first story of humanities formation and existence teaches us very valuable lessons: We are born, we live, we laugh, we cry, we die, and then we are re-born because as Creation teaches us, this is an evolutionary process that, like learning, has no end, just a continuing journey.

If we take anything away from the lessons of these chapters it is that we know where we came from, we know where we have been and perhaps, if we are lucky enough, we will learn where we are going. But through it all we need to remember that we are human and as such there are trials and tribulations that go with that understanding.

And just as we are born, we are born with instincts that sometimes make no sense; we live with frailties and infirmities; we laugh when, sometimes, nothing makes sense; we cry uncontrollably when we lose someone we love or something precious has been taken from us; we die, because all things die and we are not picked for this in answer to some mistaken belief that we were destined for punishment; we are re-born as a testament to the eternalness of Creation.

Perhaps the next time we read the beginning of everything we will remember that this is but one way to comprehending our purpose and meaning. If you think of more, then you have accomplished the ultimate learning example.

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

Relationships

2010-09-22T04:25:00.000-07:00

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

Sometimes we take relationships for granted. We assume that people will react as we do to situations that require compassion and understanding. And then we see, all too often, the disregard for feelings and the contempt that develops because of familiarity.

Such is the ultimate fate of getting involved with people. We are born to be together and yet, we find it difficult at times to maintain closeness. We discard as fast as we accumulate. The friend of today will probably not be the friend of tomorrow. How sad when you think of all the effort that is involved in cultivating relationships and maintaining them.

Sometimes we think that one feeling or sentiment fits all. But we know this to be untrue. Moses Mendelssohn, the German-Jewish philosopher of the eighteenth century wrote: “If we are seeking to be genuinely sympathetic to others, then we must not think one emotional blanket will cover all when God by design and act shows sympathy for each of us as individuals.” His philosophical teachings took Jews into the Renaissance with a feeling of connection and purpose.

A recent movie entitled “Toy Story 3” gives the perfect example of how we sometimes take things seriously and when we are finished we just abandon any feeling of connection. In the movie there are toys that were part of a boy’s development and growth. He played with them throughout his youth and then when he was ready to move-on, to go to the next-step in his maturity, he puts them in a chest and doesn’t think about them again. That is, until he gets ready to go off to school.

He begins to clear his room of all his boyhood memories and comes across these toys that brought him so much joy. Eventually he decides to place all but one in the attic and that one special toy he wants to bring to school as a reminder of those happy moments.

The story is quite amazing because it gives us insight into our own relationships with friends and family. Most of us have had childhood friends that matured with us. Some have had very good friends or best friends and as the years progressed, so did we and those friends, are for the most part, not involved in our lives anymore. It’s not that we don’t have fond recollections, but rather we have moved-on and they don’t seem to be necessary anymore.

Some, I am sure, still have childhood friends that are still here with us in our more maturing age. These are rare. Our society is so mobile. Once we lived within a stone’s throw of each other, now find ourselves in different corners of the country and even the world. So we engage new friends and new acquaintances. However, there is always something happening that reminds us of that special girl or that special boy. It could be a smile or an experience or a location and there it is – a reminder of those pleasant times, or maybe not so pleasant times, when we were in school or on a first date.

Eventually these memories are relegated to the chest of remembrances to be opened occasionally when we go to attic or the basement or the storage closet. The albums come out, the pictures are there to constantly bring to mind the times of pimples or bobby sox or peg pants or slick hair gel that brought your hair back to a meeting place at the back of your head. You remember hair?

The story reminds us that today we still do the same things. We may not have the same friends but the new ones come and go faster than we would like. As we get older it is harder to make friends and even harder to keep them. We have family that occupy our time even more because they are growing and increasing so we need to find the energy to keep up with it all. It is daunting, to say the last.

On top of all that we have friends and neighbors who need us as we need them. It is especially true for those who live far from family. No longer are we just around the corner or upstairs or next door. Once we took a few steps and we were connected, and now we have to travel great distances. And it seems that this great family experience is an effort more for them more than for us. After all, we are two and they are many.

Now we are witnessing a different dynamic. Our families are no longer an integral part of our daily lives and the friends we once shared all our deepest most intimate thoughts are memories never to be repeated. We don’t keep in touch nor do we make any serious attempt to re-connect. We discard old reminiscences as though they no longer matter and forget the significance of these past relationships.

Today’s cliques are born out of yesterdays remnants. We tend to forget as the Yiddish folk saying goes: “Those who think they can live without others are wrong. But those who think that others cannot survive without them are even more in error.” Friendships are created and nurtured with effort and action, not by accident.

The past teaches us that friendships come and go because we neglect to continue showing the ability to forgive as well as the necessity for respect. The Ethics of the Fathers, the writings of the Sages, instructs us by asking simple questions: “Who is wise? Those who can learn from everyone. Who is strong? Those who can control their passions. Who is honored? Those who honor others.” This is the essence of true and lasting friendships.

In a New Year, perhaps, we should remember our past encounters as a lesson in understanding ourselves and in so doing our expectation of friends will not cause friction but rather connection We need to be reminded of something Cynthia Ozick, the American writer, wrote in the early 20th century: “When something does not insist on being noticed, when we aren’t grabbed by the collar or struck on the skull by a presence or an event, we take for granted the very things that most deserve or gratitude.”

What better way to celebrate a New Year than to be grateful for each other; to appreciate each other; to be respectful of each other, and to love each other as we would want to be loved.

Choices

2010-09-19T11:14:00.000-07:00

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

Sometimes when things do not seem to go according to our wishes or desires we tend to say that it is “besheirt” – it was destined to be. It is a simple way of explaining the unexplainable. After-all we are not built to delve too deeply into things that seem to make no sense. It is a defense mechanism that gives us the ability to cope.

And yet, when the dust settles, there is a frustration that leaves us even more puzzled about life and its many experiences. It is frustrating because we are taught that we have the ability to choose the path we take with many of the decisions we make. Do we go to the left or to the right? Do we accept one answer without looking for another? Are we satisfied that our choices are motivated by fact and not fantasy? All these come into play when deciding our journey through the adventures of life.

Even the venerated Sage, Rabbi Akiba pronounced that everything is foreseen, yet freedom of choice is given. On the surface this would seem to be contradictory. But think about it. We are faced with choices every day. Some choices are simple such as what to wear or what to eat. And then there are choices that can be mind boggling such as to love and be loved and by whom or to go to war or make peace. In the end what we decide can be construed as being pre-ordained. No matter what choice we make, as Shakespeare said,”it is written in the stars.”

Here is where the test of faith and understanding takes root. How can we, on the one hand, be free to choose our destiny, and on the other, be told that the exercise is futile? Why? Because we are also taught that the fate of man is self-determining. And we also know that we are responsible for our choices, right or wrong. We are answerable for choices even though, in some instances, we were forced into them.

I recently watched an old movie. It was 1950’s vintage and concentrated on the “lost war” – the “Korean Conflict,” as it was also called. The subject-matter dealt with the horror of imprisonment by the enemy and the torture that was endured, both physical and mental.

The ranking officer, in this particular prison environment, was a major who, it was thought, became a traitor and even gave support to the enemy. Eventually when the war had ended he and his men were returned and he then faced court martial charges of treason as well as the responsibility for the death of two of his subordinates.

It was an imposing movie because the major offered no explanation and even refused to defend himself. One by one his men gave testimony supporting the charges. I will not go into the details other than to state that it was clear to me that sometimes we make choices that are difficult to accept and perhaps even more difficult for others to understand.

I doubt even God would have known what this man would do or for that matter what we would do. We all have differing degrees of conscience. What can break one person would not necessarily break another. Sometimes, in fact, we find that we can muster the courage to do things we never thought we were capable of.

At the end of the movie we are told, in the most compelling display of emotion and contrition, that his choice to give aid and comfort to the enemy was dictated by his desire to keep his men alive. These lives were threatened daily and the enemy commander made it perfectly clear that if he did not agree to deliver the messages and make an attempt to indoctrinate his men, that he would be made to watch each one die in front of him and they would also be forced to watch. What would you do?

All of us can sit back and follow this unimaginable ordeal unfold and offer different opinions, but in the end, it really doesn’t matter because we can never know for sure what our choice would be and if we could live with the choice.

Here we are at a crucial juncture in our lives. The Gates of life are open and we have the opportunity to walk through. But it is not that simple. The Gate is within our each and yet seems to be unreachable. The year is ending, and a new one is beginning. What kind of a year has it been? Sure it was filled with happy times and memorable occasions but it was also filled with disappointments and frustrations.

There was illness and recovery. Perhaps we lost someone we loved or just casually knew. Could it be that we offended someone and now seek forgiveness? Did we not care enough and now regret that action and seek to recapture the feeling of connection? In all these instances we faced choices and we made some good ones and some bad ones.

Here and now we have the ability to take that step that will bring us closer to the Gate and even garner the strength to make-it through. It is within our grasp.. It requires our ability to remove the shackles of hate and indifference. We need to determine that it is necessary for us to move forward enabling us to begin a new chapter that is void of unnecessary impulses that undermine our ability to love and be loved.

The Gate swings two ways – outward, allowing us to be part of a greater experience and fulfillment – and inward, allowing us to enter and be accepted by God as we attempt to accept God. This is why we listen to the prayers that have been recited from time immemorial: To enable us to reach a level of spiritual involvement that will give us the ability to be refreshed and complete. And we are compelled to keep the connection alive that has sustained us as for four-thousand years. This is no small accomplishment.

Yes, we all have choices in life. God is not waiting for us to make the choice that is already written but rather to erase the past and write a new chapter. God waits for us to make choices because that is what is pre-ordained – the ability to make choices. Adam and Eve had a choice and they chose to be able to make choices. This is the beauty of not sitting back and waiting for things to happen – nothing is “besheirt.” Isn’t it why pencils come with erasers?

What is our choice as we welcome in a New Year? To live!

Miracle In the Rain

2010-09-13T05:40:00.000-07:00

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

I borrowed this title from a movie I saw recently, vintage 1956, starring Jane Wyman and Van Johnson. It was both moving and heart wrenching. It was nostalgic and timely. It was all these things and more.

The saying goes that art imitates life and that is true in most instances. One thing is for sure, movies can make you feel glad and at the same time make you feel sad. It is like life. We have moments of ecstasy and in an instant we can become despondent. We are designed to withstand euphoria and disappointment; it’s built into the system. Sometimes, however, the system breaks down and we can’t discern one from the other.

The one emotion that can carry us through dark days and help us rejoice when there is light is called love. It works in mysterious ways. Our hearts can be filled with unimaginable happiness. When we love someone and are loved in return we enter into the realm of divine fulfillment.

But then the worst happens and we lose someone we love and that hurt is too much to bear. We try to reach for some magical occurrence that will bring back our love so that the hurt will go away and our feelings of happiness return. We remember the bliss of an embrace, the thrill of a kiss, the orgasmic expression of love’s completion, the birth of a child.

The days and nights are empty now. The touching and reaching are beyond our grasp. The marvel of a smile or a gleam in an eye seems so distant as if they never really were there at all. It is such a lonely sensation. Tears, like falling rain fill our eyes and roll down our cheeks. Sometimes we cry uncontrollably and our body trembles. It is so awful. We are so desolate.

The respected poet-philosopher, Noah ben Shea tells the following story:

Once there was a student who was with a teacher for many years. And when the teacher felt he was going to die, he wanted to make even his death a lesson.

That night, the teacher took a torch, called his student, and set off with him through the forest.

Soon they reached the middle of the woods, where the teacher extinguished the torch, without explanation.

“What is the matter?” asked the student.
“This torch has gone out,” the teacher answered and walked on.
“But,” shouted the student, his voice plucking his fear, “will you leave me here in the dark?”

“No! I will not leave you in the dark,” returned the teacher’s voice from the surrounding blackness. “I will leave you searching for the light.”

Such is the path we should take when we lose a loved one. During their lifetime they gave us light, the light of hope and completion. They lit our path so that we could experience fulfillment. And when that light is extinguished, it is not really gone because the flame that burned our passion is now embedded in our heart for all time. That is called memory.

Memory will not replace the intensity of the joy but it will enable us to embrace the very depth of understanding and realization that without the love that was shared there can be no memory and memory guarantees immortality. Memory is the next step in the thrillful journey of life.

Sorrow is the rain and the drops remind us of the tears we shed and the miracle is that our affliction will be washed away together with the sadness allowing us to begin a new day filled with sunshine and a life yet to be lived. This is the legacy that was left to us and we leave others: That the next generation and the next will be able to share what we had and make it into what they now have.

To have loved and to be loved is a miracle whether in the rain or in the clear skies that dry up our tears. We must continue because that is the true miracle of life.

I Believe

2010-09-08T07:53:00.000-07:00

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

Many times I hear from different people with different attitudes and histories indicating that it is not necessary to do many things that are expected regarding faith observance because all that is needed is to believe.

“I believe in God, what more is needed?” “I am a good person, isn’t that enough?” Both questions sound logical on the surface but actually difficult to answer. We observe different customs because of background or location and then change them to fit our present requirements. Some enhance those traditions by strict observance and some dilute them by saying that they are old fashioned and hold no relevance in today’s world.

We even excuse the lack of response by finding excuses such as,”The laws of Kashrut were originated for health and cleanliness. Now that we have refrigeration and health inspections, etc. it is no longer necessary.” That’s just one example. There are many more.

I am reminded about a man who lived in the 12th century. He was called The Rambam, an acronym for his real name, Rabbi Moshe Ben Maimon. He was better known as Maimonides. He was a physician, philosopher and rabbi. His feats were many, primarily in the field of medicine and Torah. In fact some of his medical pronouncements are still used today. He promoted and developed philosophical traditions of Aristotle. Albert the Great and Thomas Aquinas were among the notables of Western readers of the Rambam. There was an equal legion of Torah scholars who embraced his writings on Talmud and explanations of Scripture.

Because of his worldly appeal and his love of philosophy he was criticized by his peers and even threatened with ex-communication. He sat down, and among his most notable writings we find the Thirteen Principles of Faith. It is a digest of all the laws of Judaism and their significance to human values and our relationship to God.

These principles are repeated time and again in many different ways. You can find them in song and prayers and poems. They are repeated on the lips of the devout as well as the martyrs who sacrificed their lives for the sake of their faith.

1. I believe with perfect faith that God is the Creator and Ruler of all things. He alone has made, does make, and will make all things.
2. I believe with perfect faith that God is One. There is no unity that is in any way like His. He alone is our God He was, He is, and He will be.
3. I believe with perfect faith that God does not have a body; physical concepts do not apply to Him. There is nothing whatsoever that resembles Him at all.
4. I believe with perfect faith that God is first and last.
5. I believe with perfect faith that it is only proper to pray to God. One may not pray to anyone or anything else.
6. I believe with perfect faith that all the words of the Prophets are true.
7. I believe with perfect faith that the prophecy of Moses is absolutely true. He was the chief of all prophets, both before and after him.
8. I believe with perfect faith that the entire Torah that we now have is that which was given to Moses.
9. I believe with perfect faith that this Torah will not be changed, and that there will never be another given by God.
10. I believe with perfect faith that God knows all of man’s deeds and thoughts. It is thus written (Psalm 33:15), “He has molded every heart together. He understands what each one does.”
11. I believe with perfect faith that God rewards those who keep His commandments, and punishes those who transgress them.
12. I believe with perfect faith in the coming of the Messiah. How long it takes, I will wait His coming every day.
13. I believe with perfect faith that the dead will be brought back to life when God wills it to happen.

There are many who will dispute some of these beliefs because they seem foreign in today’s understanding of God and religion. As time progresses so does our thinking and our understanding of life and its origins and its finality.

Each generation goes through its battles with beliefs. Each generation has its standards of these beliefs. Each generation goes through adjustments of thought. And each generation proclaims its commitment in ways that may seem strange to generations past and even stranger to the generations that will follow.

This does not mean that each was right or wrong. What it does mean that just as we have alternative concepts of God we alter the traditions to fit those notions. God gave us the ability to think and choose. That is why change is not a repudiation of the past but rather an enhancement. We could not have modern ideas if they were not preceded by ancient heritages.

We began communicating with each other with fire followed by drums succeeded by wireless and then came the telephone and cell phones and computers and who knows what will follow. Does that make fire less important? NO, because we have found a way to harness that flame to create warmth for comfort and enjoyment. We just moved forward with the help of what was.

So saying, “I believe in God” is not as bad as it sounds as long as it is accompanied by further clarification through word and deed. We all can’t be as firm in our faith as Maimonides and we all can’t sit down and write thirteen principles of faith. It is important to remember that we come together as we do for prayer and meditation to proclaim some belief because we know that without faith there can be no future.
Faith is just not belief in God. Faith is also confidence in ourselves. Faith is loyalty to family. Faith is being in love. Faith is all these things and more. We round it out with an expectation of a benevolence that we understand to be God.

If we all knew the true essence of God what would we be? Part of the mystery of life is the mystery of our birth and the mystery of our continuation after death. Faith is trust. The Hebrew word Shechina indicates a “presence or manifestation” and allows us to imagine the meaning of God without really knowing the reality of God because we can never really know God. This is the beauty of faith: The imagination of magnificence.

Maimonides searched for this reality and came to his conclusions after a life time of learning and teaching and applying his craft as given to him by God. We may not be as extensive in our search but we know that each of us has the ability to reach heights that seem unreachable because of two simple words: “I believe.”

A Calling

2010-08-12T11:26:00.000-07:00

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

Sometimes when we talk about people choosing faith-based involvement, it is referred to as “a calling.” The term is used to describe the realization that clergy or those in supportive roles are “called” to duty for the purpose of serving God. It is a true reflection of the spiritual aspect of a person’s life incorporating preaching and teaching and personal fulfillment. We are all familiar with the expression “the spirit moves me” and it is that feeling which permeates our lives as we endeavor to express the meaning of faith and its significance.

There are, of course, exceptions. We read about them almost daily. There are those who subvert the very essence of that calling. While it is difficult for us to judge, it is our responsibility to be aware of human fallibility. Certainly not all are guilty and we should not lose faith in our beliefs. On the contrary, we should use this abhorrent behavior to teach us a valuable lesson: Sometimes people are drawn to things that set bad examples, which destroy our spirituality.

The newspapers are filled with the turmoil within the Catholic Church. Needless to say Catholic clergy are not alone is the desecration of human values and moral teachings as described in all Holy writings. And excusing these horrors because of the understanding of human fragilities is unacceptable. There is no excuse. Those who are guilty of these atrocities should be held accountable and punished. Those who protect them should also be put-up for justice because they are as guilty as those who perpetrate these unforgiving abuses against children.

Singling out unsuspecting children is revolting and everyone involved should be punished to the full extent of the law. And there is a higher law that will eventually come into play as time moves on and a different calling requires these people to answer that call for eternal judgment.

However, there are times when mob madness causes untold hardships on unsuspecting adults who get caught-up in this web of disgust and revulsion.

In our own Phoenix Jewish community we have seen this happen. A rabbi is shackled and carted off from the parking lot of his synagogue in front of his wife and others who were there at the time. No warning, no arrest warrant, no identification of those involved. A gun shoved in his face and off he disappears. No knowledge of where he is going or why.

There was a meeting a while ago, in Chandler for invited guests, mostly congregants, and others who were supportive from the very beginning, including me, of this rabbi. An accusation was made by a seventeen-year old teen ager claiming that this rabbi sexually abused her when she was seven-years old. That was ten-years ago.

I am sure all of us living here in the Valley of the Sun read bits and pieces of the experience encountered by the rabbi and his family.

The meeting was necessary, from my perspective, because it gave those in attendance the opportunity to talk to the rabbi and his attorney and hear, as well, from his wife. The summary of his experience would certainly be a best seller in store-bought dime novels. It had chilling aspects, sexual innuendos and intrigue.

One thing that stood-out, in my mind, was the fact, brought out at the meeting, that there was a strong indication that the therapist who was treating this troubled child, may have planted ideas and thoughts in her mind that eventually became, to her, reality. Is it unimaginable? Not really.

We read constantly about situations surfacing and, in fact, there was a very similar incident portrayed on one of the Law and Order programs on television. Books have been written on this subject and classes are given to therapists warning them of the dangers of planting such fabrications into unsuspecting minds. I really don’t know if this is what happened, but the possibility was brought-out in the presentation.

Nothing was done about this supposed incident even though it was reported some two years ago. Evidently it was thought at the time to be unsubstantiated and therefore did not warrant any further participation by the police.

I believe that the notoriety about clergy abuse of children, especially sexual abuse, has created an atmosphere of suspicion and doubt and the only way to alleviate this corruption is to find everyone guilty whether true of not.

Perhaps the police were diligent and perhaps they were not. It is clear to me that this overextending of authority and disregard for facts and circumstance will have a devastating effect on this family for all time. I also believe that he will be completely vindicated but that will not change the attitude of people who will remember the charge but not the exoneration.

In fact, now his congregation has seen fit to request his resignation even though no trial has been held or additional evidence submitted that refutes his claim of innocence. And what happened to “innocent until proven guilty?” I even wonder whether he is receiving any support from the Conservative movement of which he is a member as well as the Jewish Theological Seminary of which he is a graduate.

The clergy who are guilty of undermining the values of Godliness and the sanctity of life have cause damage to the “calling” we have answered and the dedication of so many in the cause of human salvation. These same clergy have created an atmosphere of distrust and suspicion that spills over into the lives of innocent people who want nothing more that answer that call and be true to its message of connection to each other and to God who made the call and witnessed the call being answered.

We must pray that sanity will prevail and our rabbi will be ready, willing, and able to answer that call once more secure in the knowledge that his destiny will forever be joined with our Creator who gave him the will and the understanding to teach and preach and remain a light unto his people.

Age and Indifference

2010-08-03T03:38:00.000-07:00

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

As we get older we start to think about yesterday and maybe yesterday’s yesterday. In fact our thoughts always focus on what was and not what is. That is, until something happens that makes us realize that today is here, the today that we dreamed about yesterday and maybe even dreaded.

We all have dreams. Some of us dream about what was instead of what is. We do this because the present, in some respects, is very difficult to concentrate on. It contains illness and pain and disappointments. Years ago we never thought about all these things because we were immortal, impervious to unpleasant expectations.

Now we are at the ebb. The waters of our life are receding. The tide goes out and does not return. The richness of the flow has dried-up. We look in the mirror and we see a different person, a person we do not recognize. We see a person who has lost the glow, the spark that ignited a flame of desire and fulfillment.

I am reminded of something I received that was posted on a doctor’s office wall:

Said the little boy,
“Sometimes I drop my spoon.”
Said the old man,
“Sometimes I do that too.”
The little boy whispered,
“I sometimes wet my pants.”
“I do that too,” laughed the old man.
Said the little boy, “I often cry.”
Sadly the old man nodded and said,
“So do I.”
But worst of all said the little boy,
“It seems that grown-ups don’t pay attention to me.”
With that he felt the warmth of the wrinkled old hand,
“I know what you mean,” said the old man.
A tear and a smile were seen upon each other’s face.

How sad that when we get older it really is as though we are back once more to our youth. The cycle is never-ending. We start in life being dependent and we somehow find ourselves again relying on others.

There is an old Yiddish folk saying: Parents once taught their children to talk; today children teach their parents to be quiet. Where is the patience we showed when our children required that of us and now as we age deserve the same consideration? No longer are we the wise ones. Now we are the inconvenient ones. No longer are we the givers. Now we are the takers. And there-in lies the resentment.

Have you noticed that that feeling resonates with caregivers as well? Have you noticed the impatience attendants show the infirmed of advanced age? It is as though they should not be there at all. Life is over for them. Why are they such a burden?

I read a poem written by and older person who died in a geriatric ward of a hospital. It was supplied to me by a good friend, a doctor, with whom I have had many discussions about faith and healing and pain. Dr. Jerald Altman is a kind man, a feeling person who sincerely applies his craft to relieving the hurt and discomfort of those afflicted with the agony of illness. In his honor I repeat excerpts of that poem:

See Me

What do you see, nurses what do you see?
Are you thinking, when you look at me-
A crabby old woman, not very wise,
Uncertain of habit, with far-away eyes,
Who dribbles her food and makes no reply,
When you say in a loud voice – “I do wish you’d try.”

Is what you’re thinking, is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse, you’re looking at ME…
I’ll tell you who I am, as I sit here so still;
As I rise at your bidding, as I eat at your will.

I’m a small child of ten with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters, who love one another,
A young girl of sixteen with wings on her feet,
Dreaming that soon now a lover she’ll meet;
A bride soon at twenty-my heart gives a leap,
Remembering the vows that I promised to keep;
At twenty-five now I have young of my own,
Who need me to build a secure, happy home;
A woman of thirty, my young now grow fast,
Bound to each other with ties that should last;
At forty, my young sons have grown and are gone,
But my man’s beside me to see I don’t mourn;
At fifty once more babies play ‘round my knee,
Again we know children, my loved one and me.

Dark days are upon me, my husband is dead,
I look at the future, I shudder with dread,
For my young are all rearing young of their own,
And I think of the years and the love that I’ve known;
I’m an old woman now and nature is cruel-
‘Tis her jest to make old age look like a fool.

I remember the joys, I remember the pain,
And I’m loving and living life over again,
I think of the years, all too few-gone too fast,
And accept the stark fact that nothing can last-
So I open your eyes, nurses, open and see,
Not a crabby old woman, look closer, nurses – see ME!

Yes, age can be daunting and frightening. It can be all these things and more because we understand that life goes on and we are not going to be part of it anymore. But then we should always remember the Psalmist’s admonition to say to God: “Do not forget me, God, until I have shouted of Your strength to the next generation.”

This should be our concentration: To be grateful for the past, appreciative of the present, and ever thankful that we have had a part in determining the future. We have witnessed offense and forgiveness, loneliness and love, pain and compassion, defeat and victory. Who could ask for anything more? We certainly don’t want anything less.

Apologies

2010-07-06T08:29:00.001-07:00

Hi All:

Sorry for not publishing recently. Getting ready for the High Holidays.
I will be writing more in my Blog in about a month.
Hope every one is enjoying a great summer.
Stay tuned.

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

When All Seems Lost

2010-06-09T10:44:00.000-07:00

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

It is ironic that a recent Torah reading includes a chapter titled “Behalotcha” which literally means to light – referring to the Menorah that was the focal point of the Temple. It was the seven-branched candelabra that remained lit 24/7/365. It was a reminder of the eternalness of God and was the light that also recalled the light of learning and of morals and ethics that are required for people to live together. The remnant of that symbol can be found in every Jewish house of worship, whether it is Temple or Synagogue or Bet Hamedrash or Bet Haknesset – all titles for a place to gather and learn and teach and gain understanding about our responsibilities as human-beings.

But that is not all this chapter deals with. To me the main emphasis can be found in the knowledge that Judaism is a religion of action over faith. No single credo defines the Jew. Rather than declaring our reliance on faith, Judaism requires taking action. Throughout the Bible, the Israelites raise doubts over their faith in God – that is not new. The question on the minds of the Israelites as they wander the desert in search of their destiny is whether or not to engage in God’s work. They are constantly complaining about everything from the lack of water, the dust in their mouths from the sand storms or the endless travel seeming to go nowhere. In fact they actual bemoan their fate with doubts and fears. They begrudgingly move forward to engage in their desire to meet their destiny.

Now we see more than ever the self-doubt that seems to possess us. The world, without provocation or understanding, seems to constantly berate tiny Israel. Israel is forever attempting to explain its desire to live in peace without fear of terrorism or daily bombardments from hostile neighbors. We read time and again of suicide bombers attacking for no reason other than the hatred they are taught from early on. We see children strapped with explosives and commanded to wreak havoc on anyone who is in their path. Little children who have not even learned how to talk or play or enjoy friends and growing-up.

The world looks at this as some sort of ritual that is required to gain acceptance and even admiration. Where is the cry from sane people at this wanton waste of humanity? Where is the outpouring of anger against the rankest form of child abuse? Where are the people of conscience who claim to be guardians of humanities collective responsibility for life and liberty and happiness?

Each and every time Israel attempts to defend itself from these horrors, the world looks and sighs because they are, in most instances, successful. Occasionally mistakes are made, and sometimes with horrible results. But if you live with a siege mentality, I am sure you too would make mistakes.

Some will say that God is angry at us. Perhaps so. But if, indeed, God is angry at us it is because we don’t really jump into action when confronted with what seems to be insurmountable obstacles and worrying about what people will say or do. What infuriates God is our constant complaining.

What should we be concentrating on? Simply stated: it is to not only be a light unto the nations as the Menorah reminds us, but also to take action when needed and not expect some miracle to take place to disengage us from the ordeals of life and living. Our spiritual link to God requires us to be active in our approach to the world around us. Not continually be afraid of who we are and what is needed for us to continue to survive and “MOVE-ON.” We learned this lesson rather starkly when we were faced with certain doom at the edge of the Sea until, as the Midrash tells us, we needed to step into the water to make it separate from the dry land. We were required to take that first step in meeting our responsibilities as partners with God, not depending on God to take charge and leave us with no choices.

What we do we do because it is expected of us and our obligation is to stop complaining about things we should not be complaining about. And shaking our head as though all is lost is a sure path to inaction or even worse.

We MUST be ready to participate in ensuring the survival of Israel because our survival rests with that success. And as the Torah portion explains in great detail, fear will only cause destruction. We MUST never be afraid of who we are and what is needed to guarantee our right as a free people who gave the world the light to see the difference between right and wrong.

We didn’t put the match in anyone’s hand to light the Menorah. We offered the possibility to carry the torch and to remain ever mindful of the eternalness of our People. The Menorah stayed lit because we did not allow the flame to die.

And our faith gives us the right to proclaim the sanctity of life and the action that is necessary to guarantee that right.

The Wrong Jeremiah Is Heard

2010-05-27T19:14:00.000-07:00

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

Introduction

I begin by stating that I am a born American. In fact my birthday is December 7th, a major date in the history of our nation as described by President Franklin Delano Roosevelt in his famous “A date that will go down in infamy” sentence in a speech to the Congress of the United States as it declared war on Japan in response to the vicious attack on Hawaii.

I served my country during, what is referred to as, the Korean War era, and was honorably discharged, and even served more years in the reserves. I never saw combat but was stationed overseas as part of my tour of active duty.

I mention all this because I believe that my patriotism and devotion to the United States of America gives me the right to disagree with its policies, not only because of my contributions, but also because of my inherent right as outlined in the Constitution and Bill of Rights.

All this is to help make clear that, sometimes, even religious fervor has a rightful place in the discourse relating to political conclusions and dictates as they affect human dignity and human allegiance. This country was founded on the principle that free men, and women, have the obligation to speak truth even when it is contrary to most opinions. So spoke the Biblical Prophets in helping the people determine their moral requirements.

I speak as a simple human being, dedicated to the betterment of the human spirit in achieving fulfillment and salvation through faith. I am not so arrogant to believe that my voice is the only one that makes sense or deserves to be heard. It is a voice, among many, that seeks justice, not only for my people, but for all peoples. This is my calling.

The wrong message

During the presidential campaign we were told by candidate, Barack Obama, that even though he was a member and frequent attendee of Pastor Jeremiah Wright’s Church in Chicago, he never really heard what he said or accepted what he espoused. What was that? Hate!

His (Jeremiah Wright) sermons demonized the Jewish people and condemned the United States of America using descriptions that are too sick to print let alone speak. His words were not meant to encourage but rather discourage his own people who needed and deserved to be treated with respect. By exhorting these diatribes he, in fact, belittled his flock and showed great disdain for their intelligence.

This Jeremiah stood before his congregation and did not teach about God and love and forgiveness which are the duty and responsibility of clergy from all beliefs and persuasions, but rather disloyalty and disaffection. The New Testament expounds on the theory that you cannot claim to love God whom you have never seen and hate your fellow-man whom you are in contact with daily. The rest can be found in the dictum: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Somewhere this concept was lost as is his soul.

Sitting in the pews week after week, month after month, year after year, was a member of that congregation, the congregation with the wrong Jeremiah, named Barack Obama. Can anyone, for one instant, believe that we are capable of sitting through these venomous outpourings and not be affected?

Jeremiah, the true Prophet of God, the defender of his faith, the real Jeremiah, preached: “Do not listen what the prophets are prophesying to you; they fill you with false hopes. They speak visions from their own minds, not from the mouth of the Lord.” (Jer. 23) When people, claiming to be Godly, speak of alienation, they lead you in paths not directed by God. Such is the man who is called Jeremiah Wright. The wrong Jeremiah is being heard, and for sure the wrong message is being sounded

We are now witnessing the results of those years of misleading his people. No longer a candidate, no longer saying what people wanted to hear; now President Barack Obama is putting into action the words that have echoed in his mind for these many years. The United States of America is witnessing, first hand, the divisiveness being spewed to a public that has yet to understand, what the true nature of the man, the man who claimed to be devoted to bringing us together, is really all about. And if we disagree we are labeled “racist.” The question is really: Who is the racist?

How can we be expected to come together as one people when our leader demonstrates, time and again, the lack of commitment to this concept? You cannot achieve success on the backs of those you condemn. Denigrating one does not give sanctity to another.

The blessing and the curse

To dispel all issues about dual-loyalties, let me here and know state unequivocally that I am committed to the security of our country, to the principles in which it was founded and the concept of pluralism that is the hallmark of its greatness as are all Jewish Americans.

That does not mean that I do not have a spiritual and historical tie to Israel, its people and its significance as it reaches to proclaim its inalienable right to survival. The two are exclusive.

I understand, full well, the intent of our president, to reach out to the entire world and attempt to connect with all mankind to ensure humanity’s survival. I understand, as well, the need for our country to stretch out its hand in friendship thus encouraging all people to realize their potential.

I understand, only too well, the desire for all people to live in peace and security. None should be afraid of their neighbor or live in fear for their lives. To accomplish this requires great fortitude and courage but above all strength of purpose surrounded by truth.

What I don’t understand is that there are those who believe that to accomplish all this requires some to be sacrificed on the altar of misplaced allegiance, while undermining the security of others. What I don’t understand is that ignoring past alliances and commitments because of an attitude toward looking at what should be rather than what is, will not, in the long-run, achieve salvation or survival.

We deal with reality, not supplant it with dreams that have no basis in fact. We speak to the issues with clarity and understanding not with disdain and ignorance of fact. We can’t be called “honest broker” if we truly do not believe this to be our mission. We should not insult our friends to find favor with our enemies.

Scripture makes it very clear when it states: “Those who bless Israel will be blessed, and those who curse Israel will be cursed.” (Gen. 12:1-3) That does not mean that a blank check is given to obtain the blessing instead of the curse. What it does mean is that we have an obligation, a sacred trust, to ensure that the People of Israel are secure in their homes and accepted among the nations of the world as living proof of the redemption that has arrived because Israel lives and will continue to live long after all others have vanished. History records this truth.

Friendship means peace and respect

When the Prime Minister of Israel is a guest in our country it is expected that he will be treated with the dignity accorded all heads of state, especially allies and friends. The lack of regard for Benjamin Netanyahu was an exercise in disdain and contempt. One only has to witness our president’s acceptance of Hugo Chavez, an avowed dictator and enemy of our republic, to realize that friendship is not the requirement for acknowledgement, but insistence on extending a welcome hand to all who profess to hate us. As though a gesture or a handshake or a smile will change feelings and make everything right.

To add insult to injury, we are now witnessing our president welcoming, with open arms, a man he despises, the president of Afghanistan. He is wined and dined and even dined with Vice President Biden and his family. This is a man whose hands are drenched with Poppy lava. This is a man who has disdain for our country and even said so. This is a man who represents a country where our men and women have shed their blood to support and keep afloat.

Not one single member of our armed forces has fought or died for Israel. The only thing we have done over the years is support the rights of people to live in peace and tranquility through their own efforts. And yet, we are told by our government that the loss of American lives can be attributed to the intransigence of the Israel. How utterly ridiculous and even laughable.

We do not murder innocent people because of their religious identification. We do not behead people to throw fear and to intimidate. We don’t send our children strapped with bombs to blow-up innocent men, women and children in the name of some mistaken belief that this will bring about capitulation.

In all my years I have never seen such a display of childishness and arrogance. The United States of America was the first country in the world to recognize the legitimacy of the re-birth of Israel. For 62 years we have stood by this country, born from the ashes of despair, to assist in its desire to become a nation of laws and acceptance.

No president, no administration, has ever turned its back on the right of Israel to survive in words and deeds. We, the American people, are responsible for the success of a nation that opens its hearts to all who hunger for freedom and nobility.

No nation is perfect and Israel is no exception. Democracy is an experiment and is in a continual state of flux. That is one of the hallmarks of democracy. It is a never ending attempt to adjust to current modes and trends so that it grows. Our Constitution is living proof of a journey into human salvation by constantly interpreting its message as determined by the Supreme Court. That is called the rule of law. And we are a nation that prides itself on the adherence to law and the benefits derived from that understanding of human behavior. Treating a friendly head of state with such contempt does not speak to this.

Friends disagree at times and even have arguments. But friends understand, as described in a famous Hasidic folk saying, that each may have faults but if you are looking for a friend who has no faults, you will have no friends. Most of all friendship means that you are concerned for the peace and security expected from that relationship.

The impediment to lasting peace

We are constantly led to believe, and the main stream media is part of this conspiracy, that peace in the Middle East can only be achieved by Israel conceding everything in exchange for nothing. For example: The Oslo accords. Analyze all that has happened since those documents were signed. Peace was never achieved; battles are constantly fought; Palestine is still a dream because the intent was not to live in harmony but rather to continue the armed fight for total domination; corruption and in-fighting exists between factions of terrorist organizations. The net result of this accord was the systematic arming of people determined to annihilate a sovereign nation from off the face of the earth as stated in its manifesto.

Prime Minister Menacham Begin who built his reputation as a fighter knew that to achieve lasting peace there must be a partner in that quest and there must be compromise attached to that completion. The Sinai Peninsula, filled with mountains of much needed oil, was returned to Egypt. This country who made war on Israel during its holiest day of the year, Yom Kippur, finally realized that war was futile and President Anwar Sadat made a historic trip to Jerusalem, not Tel Aviv, to convey that message.

During President Bill Clinton’s term in office a serious attempt was made with Prime Minister Ehud Barak to concede 97% of the West Bank and all of Gaza, and the division of Jerusalem, to appease the critics who constantly claimed that Israel was not forthcoming or reliable as a partner for peace. The result of that gesture was a complete rejection of what would become, if enacted, a troublesome episode in Israel’s history. But Israel was willing to take the gamble and move forward for final peace and security.

Since that time new obstacles have been placed in the road to independence for a people in great need of redemption and dignity. Now we are told that settlements are a deterrent – settlements being built on Israeli soil and agreed to by past United States administrations. A new glitch has been added – the return of those who left Israel during the War of Independence. People, I might add who were told to leave because after the defeat of Israel they would be welcomed back to a land free of Jews.

Time and again the stakes are re-adjusted to accommodate new thoughts and new ideas to complete the task of “driving the Jews” into the sea that could not be accomplished by military means.

The list is endless and the results the same. No peace. No statehood for Palestinians. No serious effort on the part of the world to act as peace broker without intimidation and fear. The only exception has been, until now, the United States. Our country has made every effort to establish a clear understanding of what is required for lasting peace and fulfillment.

Inspiring terrorism

We are at a crossroad right now. We can continue to stand for justice and freedom or we can maintain the path undertaken to inspire people of ill-will to make war and destroy the very essence of humanity’s desire for tranquility.

By displaying an outright hostility toward a friend the universe will probably see itself embroiled in a conflict that may not be possible to correct. We see this with our attitude toward Iran and North Korea. Soon these rogue regimes will succeed in creating fear throughout the world when they join the nuclear club of nations. Their attitude and behavior suggests that they will not be contained or restricted in their determination to annihilate Israel. They now are engaged in bringing into their sphere of influence another rogue nation such as Venezuela.

This sphere of influence will not diminish but grow and get bolder as we attempt to undermine the viability of Israel. Can there be no doubt that once the world thinks the United States will no longer be considered the defenders of a free Israel, there will be chaos unmatched in human history?

By turning our back on the very ideals and principles for which we are known we encourage violence and regret; the violence of murderers and terrorists and the regret of friends who once thought we could be trusted.

Where is the unifying credential that elevated our president to his office? Where are the deeds that should be part of the constant reminder of our dedication to the survival of Israel? Where is the still small voice that repeats and repeats the words of the Prophet Jeremiah: “You are always on their lips, but far from their hearts.” The Prophet, the true Prophet was his cry to those who profess to speak for God but speak falsely and wickedly.

This should be our answer because in the words of the Prophet Micah: “What it is that God expects of you? To do justly, to love mercy and walk humbly with God.” And what better way is there to accomplish this than to be what we say we are and to do what we say we will do in honesty while searching for fulfillment.

Israel is our friend and we need all the friends we can get for one simple reason: We are not perceived as being honest or trustworthy. As a citizen, as a person of faith, as a human being drawn to the Divine, I simply state that we need to remember our roots and our heritage as a nation dedicated to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. This is not only our right but something we fought for and died for on behalf of all humanity.

Let us resolve to listen to the right Jeremiah in that it will be the answer to our survival. Let us not feel threatened to speak out in an attempt to correct the wrong. We are Americans. This is our calling.

A Woman of Valor

2010-05-03T19:38:00.000-07:00

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

In both May and June we celebrate two holidays dedicated to parents: Mother’s Day in May, and Father’s Day in June.

However, perhaps, we should concentrate on Mother’s Day. Not because they deserve more attention, but because they are the dreamers and the toilers in the never-ending process of growth and development. Father’s start the chain of events leading to our birth, but Mother’s nurture and sustain us as we grow into parents ourselves.

In the Book of Proverbs we are taught the beauty and value of women and their indispensable role in the conduct of creation. “A woman of valor, who can find? She is more precious than fine pearls. Her husband trusts in her, and so he lacks nothing. She does him good, never harm, all the days of her life. Her children rise up and bless her; her husband sings her praises. She speaks with wisdom; the law of kindness is on her lips.”

So central to life’s values, people of all faiths have always recognized that women were not inferior but rather equals in completing the task given us by God. Scripture is filled with the exploits of women who have been in the forefront of faith-based activities which included social justice and conscience.

But perhaps the most significant role is that of a mother. She played with us when we were young, nurtured us during times of trouble. She is a calmer of fears, compassionate, understanding with unconditional love.

We watch her grow old and become bent, but her children, well, they are tall and strong and had courage beyond their beliefs because of her fortitude and example. Her lips are always filled with encouragement.

Sometimes it is painful for us to remember our mothers who are no more because we knew, as the journey concluded, that she realized the end was better than the beginning because her children walked with dignity and pride as a testament to her love and caring.

Sometimes we wish that if we could only see her once more or touch her brow with a kiss, we would feel more comfortable and safe. Well, we do have that moment and it is called memory and because of memory she remains a living presence.

The Book of Proverbs said it best and all we can do is echo those hallowed words as we pay tribute to the past and the savor the time we still have with our mother here and now.

“She is clothed in strength and dignity, and she faces the future cheerfully. She reaches out to those in need, and extends her hands to the poor. Many daughters have done valiantly, but she excels them all.”

Remember, you can find all this in her smile, her laughter, in every tear drop she sheds watching her children grow and their children as well. She was our first love, our best friend, and we can never be separated from her – not even in death.

To Mourn, To Remember, To Rejoice

2010-04-09T11:00:00.000-07:00

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

YOM HAHSHOAH

The German Jewish Political Theorist, Hannah Arendt (1906-1975), wrote during the trial of Adolph Eichmann in Israel: “It was as though in those last minutes he (Eichmann) was summing up the lessons that this long course in human wickedness had taught us – the lesson of the fearsome, word-and-thought-defying banality of evil.” Perhaps she actually compacted into one sentence the sum total of what the Holocaust was and remains in most memories until this very moment in time. Will that be the legacy that will be inherited by the future generations of the unconcerned?

Much has been said, written, and depicted about the Holocaust. We continually say that we can never fully describe the death and destruction because to some it was just as Eichmann thought, an incidental happening, something that was not out of the ordinary. It is this kind of evil that trivializes, and even glamorizes murder on such a large scale.

And yet, here we are, commemorating the anniversary of such an atrocity. Human minds can’t fully comprehend the mindless torture of people because we want to forget. We mark the day with solemn utterances and, in Israel, the sirens sound and the shrillness of that cadence gives us time to reflect. But then, once the siren has ended its call to remembrance, we continue with everyday living.

That exercise of continuity doesn’t diminish the loss but rather enables us to continue with life because that is the essence of their sacrifice. We cannot just die but rather live to not only remember but to inform and remind. This is our solemn obligation and its fulfillment destroys the Eichmann’s of the world as they attempt to minimize and even deny the actuality of the horror.

Today we are witnessing a return to the civilized becoming the beasts. The Haman of today sits in a corner of the world that gave birth to civilization as we know it and displays a disdain for the very enlightenment that elevated us from the depths of depravity to the heights of morality. How is this possible?

The answer can be found in one word: Indifference. The world does not want to concentrate on such iniquity. Life is too short to focus on bad things. Therefore people of good will ignore the hurt and settle on ignoring the truth. It is a sad commentary about society and could even be a motivation for attempting a repeat of such cruelty and dehumanization.

Golda Meir was quoted as saying: “There is no difference between one’s killing and making decisions that will send others to kill. It’s exactly the same thing, or even worse.” Denying truth and even ignoring it, to me, is tantamount to participating in the deed. Turning a blind eye to tragedy makes us accomplices.

The Holocaust will remain a symbol of man’s inhumanity to man for eternity. The remembrance of the Holocaust will ensure that future generations will understand the darkness that enveloped the Earth and the depths to which we are capable of descending. We have met Satan and Satan is us!

How can this chapter ever be closed? There will never be closure because that would desecrate the memory of those who perished, who have no one to remember their existence. We are committed to immortalizing their memories so that their souls will remain bound up in a common bond of weeping that will forever be heard around the world and beyond.

YOM HAZIKARON/HA'ATZMAUT

We learn in Pesikta Buber: “He who defends Israel is uplifted by God.”

The sacrifices made by the men and women who serve in the Israel military are doing just that. Make no mistake – the survival of the Jewish People rests with the brave defenders of the land. Each and every Israeli understands that to lose one war is equivalent to losing it all. Each day they are thrust into harm’s way because of the dangers that exist is their corner of the world.

I have seen their dedication and devotion. I have seen their willingness to put their lives on the line to continue the dream that was dormant for so many millennia and was realized in our time. They dream and they laugh and they love and at the same time understand that to be able to do all these things requires vigilance and determination.

Their zeal is recognized by their countrymen each year as a time devoted to the memory of those who have fallen in their defense. It is the ultimate gesture of gratitude.
And as Golda Meir also said:”We Jews have a secret weapon in our struggle with the Arabs: we have no place to go.” Each and every man woman and child understand this and therefore is ready and willing to give their utmost to the country carved out of a barren wasteland and formed into a thriving re-birth of a People.

Immediately following this solemn moment we rejoice in our renewal. The longing of the ages has been fulfilled. We are home. We are in Eretz Yisrael. The land of our deliverance and redemption.

David Ben Gurion was fond of saying the State of Israel will prove itself not by material wealth, not by military might or technical achievement, but by its moral character and human values. Idealism at its best. But the reality is that Israel has done all these things and more.

Israel has shown the world that its determination and fortitude enabled it to grow and flourish and enhance the life of all humanity through its technological achievements and its military prowess. It has helped the world understand that contributions to science and industry have advanced life giving us the ability to reap the rewards of God’s benevolence. The People of Israel did and continue to do all that even as it lives through danger from outside forces.

Perhaps the words of Chaim Potok summarizes the aspirations of a People who have survived untold tragedies and unimaginable horrors: “My father often spoke in military terms: the Jews were the vanguard of mankind, the reconnaissance troops, and therefore prone to taking the highest casualties. But we would succeed one day in establishing the Kingdom of God on earth. Of that he had no doubt.”

A Friend To Those Who Need A Friend

2010-04-08T20:19:00.000-07:00

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

Going through many books and writings over the years, I am sometimes drawn to articles relating to the life of a Rabbi in a congregational setting. It is quite different than being a Rabbi in an educational environment or involved in social service efforts such as I have been most of my career.

It takes a certain kind of ability to attempt to commit to the daily tasks of caring and sharing which is the hallmark of everyday commitments to a myriad of people with differing views about religion and how these traditions, customs and laws are to be observed, or not, depending on your point of view and upbringing. To say that there are times when issues arise that boggle the imagination would not do justice to the actual involvement whether individually or collectively.

There really are no exceptions. In fact, it is even more difficult in a retirement community, given that many come from all walks of life and locations. Living in such a community brings together people with differing understandings of faith and observance. It is the blending of all these factions that make it an interesting exercise to find common ground.

Recently I read an article written by Rabbi Josh Yuter, a traditional colleague who attempted to delineate the different aspects of Rabbinic performance. He writes that the greatest challenge a Rabbi faces is distinguishing a balance between his professional life and his personal life.

Perhaps that is the most difficult thing to do. We certainly are no different than the average person in that we look forward to the comfort and joy of home life and the ability to separate the professional from the personal. Most of you, I am sure, have attempted to do this is varying ways, but inevitably the two seem to clash. We are hard pressed to consider our work and the release from that tension as we settle in to the life of a husband or father or mentor.

Our instinct is to be friends with everybody because we want peace and harmony to be the order of the day. Some people become closer friends and some a little distant. That is only natural. We cannot be close friends with everybody. Even in our home environment we are closer to some of our children or grandchildren, not because we love one more than the other, but rather because we gravitate to some more than others. It is the same with friends and neighbors.

Rabbis also find themselves without personal lives because of their dedication. We cannot say to someone who calls in the middle of the night hurting and in need of spiritual guidance: “ We are off duty now. Take two aspirins and call us in the morning.” Or have our phone answered with a message that says, “If this is an emergency hang-up and dial 911.” Sound familiar?

What I am trying to impart is that sometimes people perceive things that don’t really exist. Sometimes we Rabbis are used for convenience by people in order to promote themselves. Sometimes we need to look deeper than the surface to really understand the Rabbi’s role and how important it is for him to be available to everyone regardless of their station or likes and dislikes.

Rabbis normally do not toot their own horns and, in many cases, are reluctant to even speak for themselves in order for it not to appear self-serving. That is probably a flaw in the system, but it is there never-the-less. In fact it reminds me a famous writing in Midrash Rabbah:

“They say to fruit trees: “Why do you not make any noise.” The trees reply: “Our fruit is sufficient publicity for us.”

A Rabbi is a friend to those who have no friends and certainly a friend to those who want to be friends. Because he knows, as a Hasidic folk saying goes: “If you are looking for a friend who has no faults, you will have no friends.”

Something to think about!

More Passover Thoughts

2010-04-01T19:27:00.000-07:00

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

The month of March (Nissan) brings with it springtime. It is a beautiful season of the year. Trees begin waking from their winter sleep, flowers start to bloom and the tilt of the Earth in the northern hemisphere brings warmth. Even the birds start singing for they too know that nature is coming alive. It is a time of renewal. Passover occurs at this time of the year.

Redemption, the ultimate definition of the holiday, is commemorated with a festive meal called the Seder. This annual ritual, the re-telling of the Exodus from slavery and bondage to freedom and salvation, expresses the feelings and aspirations of people throughout history, as we attempt to determine our future and reach out to meet our destiny. We become a people whose primary responsibility includes understanding and sharing the Revelation experienced at Sinai.

We are told about this tremendous encounter with depictions of thunder and lightening and majestic splendor as God endeavors to connect with us and solidify the Covenant made with our ancestors. The words that were uttered and speak to all of us even today are reminders of this special relationship and the obligations inherent in this bond.

The Exodus was preceded by episodes that really boggle the imagination. From the blood in the Nile to the destruction of Pharaohs army, the narrative explains, in great detail, the occurrences that led to the ultimate determination of man’s yearnings for equality and purpose.

At Sinai we reached the hour of fulfillment. Not only were we liberated but we knew, at that moment, the reason for our being. We understood that life without reason has no meaning. We witnessed the value of creation and our part in the process. We realized that by escaping tyranny we were obligated to prevent the distortion of God’s will and to acknowledge the existence of God and the significance of being witnesses to God’s grandeur.

The Ten Commandments, the final part of the drama, instructs us about duty to God and duty to each other. The first five Commandments are designed to teach us respect and love of God and the last five are dedicated to our relationship with one another. The lesson is rather simple: You cannot claim to be lovers of God or profess to believe in God and at the same time loathe each other. You can’t be Godlike and be hateful to another human being also created by this same God.

The Ten Commandments are also written in the singular. The message is profound and is explained in great detail by the Ramban in his Torah commentary. He writes that each of us is responsible for our words and deeds. We cannot care for each other if we are not willing to hold ourselves accountable for our conduct and we must be willing to accept the consequences.

The observance of Passover also includes many religious customs and laws. For example: We are prohibited from eating anything containing leaven because we need to remember that cleansing ourselves of the old is a prerequisite to accepting things that are new. We can’t start a new life if we hold onto the old one and make no room for growth and development. Leaving Egypt in a hurry was a clear indication that the people were ready to shed the old and begin the new.

We continually read the story of our deliverance because it is essential that we remain aware of our past in order to continue to build a future. It also helps us realize that to move forward we have to break the shackles of domination that kept us bent over, unable to stand erect. We experienced not only physical distress but emotional submission and that dragged us even further into the abyss with no sign of escape.

All these expressions are brought together in one grand moment called Passover. We rejoice and we remember but we are also saddened by events that shaped our destiny which required untold sacrifices. However, we understand that sometimes we must go through ordeals in order to achieve fulfillment. And as the rabbis have taught us, we don’t gloat over the misfortune of others while rejoicing in our emancipation.

Perhaps the wishes and desires for a world of togetherness and gratefulness and appreciation can best be summed up in an essay written by Rev. Dr.Herbert Brokering, a Christian minister:

Lord, give us tomorrow.
Give us
Spring at the end of winter,
Love at the end of strife,
Peace at the end of war, and
A home at the end of the exile.
Give us
Rain to end draught,
A song to end the sorrow
A harvest to end the hunger
Send fruit after the pruning.
Send tomorrow
With its feel of the softness of soil,
The grease of engines,
The splatter of paint,
The sound of music,
The joy of debate, and
The calmness of forgiveness.
Give us tomorrow
And its new work,
New smell,
New touch,
New thoughts
New hopes.
Lord,
Tomorrow
Give us a new day.

Isn’t this what Passover is all about? Isn’t this the dream of all humanity as expressed by Passover in so many ways? Yes, these are my thoughts at Passover. Passover miracles, as I wrote about previously, can also be found in the asking and the giving and the receiving.

The Miracles of Passover

2010-03-10T11:26:00.000-08:00

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

When we think of miracles we naturally think about things happening that are not normal. For example, if we lift a book and then let go and the book stays where it is and does not fall, that is a miracle. It is a miracle because the laws of physics tell us that gravity will bring the book down. Of course we all understand gravity. We cannot exist without it. All of us would fly around like some “superman” from another planet. We would never be able to touch the ground or stay in one place.

On Passover we look at the experience of the Israelites crossing of the Sea of Reeds as some miracle because the sea parted, the Israelites walked safely to the other side and the Egyptians drowned. And that wasn’t the only “miracle.” There were the ten plagues and the march across the desert toward an unknown destiny.

During that journey we were fed “manna,” some mystical nourishment that had whatever taste we wished. We weathered storms and upheaval that caused us, on more than one occasion, to ask: “Was it because there were no graves in Egypt that we were brought to die in the desert?”

Our first encounter with this destiny finds us at the foot of a mountain awaiting the message that has survived time. It is a message of completion. It is a message of fulfillment. It is a message of change. It is an eternal message.

Passover is a time of miracles:

There is the miracle of change. To say the least – change does not come easy. We resist change at every turn in our journey. We are creatures of habit and somehow we feel that the past is to be romanticized and cherished and any change to that feeling makes us feel uncomfortable. The past reminds us of a period in our lives when we were younger and healthier and capable of so many things that we are not able to accomplish today. That is frightening.

Even during our greatest triumph, the Exodus from captivity, we constantly regretted having made the effort because of the insecurity of the unknown. Our rabbinic tradition refers to the desert wandering as “Dor Midbar” the generation of the desert – the generation that witnessed marvel upon marvel and still regretted the decision to journey to a promise yet unfulfilled.

No matter what God does for us –we are not satisfied and even resentful. We can relate to these feelings because we reject change because we see in ourselves the inability to adjust in order to fit. We object to suggestions that will enhance our lives whether from friends, relatives or God. God tells us that to grow we must be willing to experiment. And He does this with the “miracle” of everyday living.

Yes, change is painful and yet it gives us the ability to realize that what we encounter in our lives contains changes we don’t even understand or recognize. We are not the same person we were yesterday or even a minute ago.

The one thing we should try to remember is that, as we get older, change is necessary for continuation, not stagnation. If we stayed the same-well, there certainly would be no excitement or anticipation. Now, more than ever, we need to adjust our thinking to accommodate all the changes we can absorb – not run away from them as our ancestors tried to do. Don’t say: “Why can’t they, our children and grandchildren, be like us?” Do we really want that for them or do we want them to grow and develop into what they can be for themselves?

This is one “miracle” of Passover that Torah endeavors to translate for us: Growth and evolution. And for sure it is the path we should be involved with in the later years of our lives. We connect because of comfort and we expand those relationships because, as Scripture reminds us, there is no future without change.

There is the miracle of action. The Midrash, the teachings of the rabbis in explaining the meaning of Torah, understood God’s message in that when action is needed we should not waste time praying. The People are at the edge of the Sea and their doom seems inevitable. What do they do? They start to pray for deliverance. The MIdrash answers quite succinctly by stating that prayers are not the salvation but action – the action of putting your foot into the water - the action of faith. Faith in your own ability to overcome darkness by inserting light to show the way to freedom from reluctance is a “miracle” that cannot be provided for us, only by us.

Moses, at the very same time, lifts his rod and stretches it over the water and the Sea does not divide immediately. It takes hours for the final step in the rescue to be accomplished because it was not the “miracle” that was needed but rather the ability to realize that with faith all things are possible: The faith in oneself and the faith that God will answer if we are willing to step forward.

Sometimes we can’t see the “miracle” of life and opportunity because we are blinded by insecurity. We doubt our ability to overcome hardship with steadfastness. Self doubt can be debilitating and cause us to despair when all we have to do is turn the corner and witness redemption through the miracle of action.

And yet, even when we accomplish what seems impossible, the next time we encounter situations that cause us anguish, we forget, all too easily, the successes. Our euphoria lasts and our faith is strengthened until the next ordeal reveals itself.

The true test of our “miracle” of life is whether we are capable of remembering the past so that the future will contain the “action” necessary to move on and rejoice in the gifts with which we have been blessed.

Passover is a time of miracles. Passover reminds us that “Let my people go” is a clarion call for all people and for all time. And the miracle of that issuance is that as long as there is breath we will never forget the past because it is the secret of a “miracle” called the future.

A Trilogy of Wedding Thoughts

2010-03-07T14:06:00.000-08:00

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

“Another bride, another groom…..”

This is a sentence from a song made famous by the late, great comedian, Eddie Cantor. The song went further to say…”think what a year can bring.” This song came to mind when I realized that another year is here. Where has the time gone?
So many questions run through my mind: Have I? Should I? Could I? So much to think about and, at the same time, so grateful that there is a period set aside to start anew and possibly correct the wrongs.

There are so many challenges that come to mind as a New Year begins, or in this case, as a New Year continues. All of us receive the blessings of life not because we will it but rather because we make it happen. As corny as it may sound, determination and faith make all things possible. Happiness is not an accident waiting to happen. Happiness occurs because we put effort into making it so.
Life is a story of struggle and courage and perseverance. Life is what we make of it understanding that there are good times as well as bad. Our responsibility to each other and ourselves includes living life, loving life and sharing life with those we love.

There will be another bride and another groom as sure as there is another season. And as the song continues: “Lots of rice, the groom is nervous, he answers twice.” And it goes on to state that: “Picture a little love nest down where the roses cling. Picture that same sweet love nest, and think what a year can bring.” Our relationships are determined by our faith in each other and our determination to find love in order to be fulfilled.

Doing for one another is the ultimate expression of love for humanity and enhances our love for God. The bond between husband and wife is the secret of true faith. When a husband and wife begin a new life together they reinforce that bond. The mystics wrote that God is forever creating new worlds. How is this done? By bringing about new marriages
.
And the song goes on: “The choir sings here comes the bride. Another bride and groom are side by side. It surely is the season…..”

“Marriages are made in heaven”

It wasn’t that long ago when marriages were arranged between families. The bride and groom never saw each other until the day of the wedding. In fact brides wear veils because of that custom. It was so the groom would first see his bride at the wedding ceremony.

These arranged marriages were organized by a person called the “Marriage Broker” who would search far and wide to accommodate the needs of the prospective families. We know them by another name, “Shadchin” or “Matchmaker.” Perhaps you will remember the movie, Fiddler on the Roof or Hello Dolly in which the “matchmaker” assumes the role of broker to arrange marriages according to their understanding of the needs. It is not far from the truth.

There is a story of such a “matchmaker” who called on a young man of poor circumstances to attempt such a match. “Frankly,” the youth said, “The only girl I would consider must be young, beautiful, come from a good family, and even own a delicatessen.”

“What!” shouted the indignant marriage broker.” You, a poor man, expect all that? You are not even passably good-looking and you have no trade. A girl such as you describe would have to be crazy to marry the likes of you!”
The young man shrugged. “So, she’s crazy! As long as she has all the other qualifications, who cares?”

I, too, once had to officiate at a marriage that was pre-arranged. The bride and groom never saw each other because the families lived quite a distance apart. Most of the arrangements were made either by mail or phone.

In fact I had to meet each separately as well, traveling from one location to the other. And while I talked to each I would ask how they felt about arranged marriages in general and their up-coming nuptials in particular. Without hesitation each spoke of their duty and responsibility to their respective families expecting that they would not be disappointed and in time would grow to love one another. I must admit I was impressed with their sincerity. And I knew that neither of them was crazy.

The ceremony was phenomenal. Everyone looked great. The groom walked down the aisle first surrounded by his parents. Then came the usual compliment of bridesmaids, groomsmen, flower girl, and ring bearer. Finally the music began to play a different melody and all knew that the bride was about to enter. My heart raced as though I were the intended and not the officiant.

Down she came, everyone rose to their feet. She was, of course veiled, and looked beautiful even though we still could not see her face. Then came the moment when the veil was thrown over her head and revealed a most lovely woman.
The wedding ceremony began and as it ended and they kissed for the first time, I turned to the parents and whispered, “Marriages are made in Heaven.”

“A groom’s thoughts”

Most often when we think of marriage we are directed to the bride. After all it is “her day.” All the fuss surrounds her entourage and the preparations for a memorable milestone in her journey to the path leading to the nuptials. We tend to forget the groom.

There is the hustle and bustle of finding a suitable wedding dress, the arrangements for the bridesmaids, the flowers. On and on, the list is endless. The excitement builds. The makeup, the hairdo, the wedding bouquet, it just never ends. And we continue to forget the groom.

We forget that the concept of marriage was formed by Divine inspiration: “In time, a man leaves his father and mother and joins to his wife so they become as one flesh.” Biblical writers understood the loneliness men encounter. Then the moment of love reaches fulfillment in the joining of heart and spirit.

The Sages of old subscribed to the theory that there are three views of life that are considered beautiful in the eyes of God and man: Harmony between brothers, closeness among neighbors, and a man and his wife who are as one.

Sometimes I try to imagine what is going through a groom’s mind when I stand with him waiting for his bride to make her way down the aisle. I guess part of what he is thinking is thankfulness for reaching this milestone unscathed in the tumult surrounding the very moment of commitment. And then, perhaps, thoughts settle on the very time and space that he finds himself reaching out to complete the process of fulfillment.

And maybe he concentrates on the act of love that finds him standing next to the one he loves because he understands that the act of love should bring every level of humanness into play: Intuitions, emotions, logic and mind.

There is a story of a man having a debate with another regarding the value of marriage. The one man claims that God is a thief because He made Adam fall asleep and then stole one of his ribs. The other responded with a little anecdote that spoke of a thief entering a home in the middle of the night and took a silver tray and replaced it with a gold one. The first man replied that if only that were to happen to him. And the second man explained that that is exactly what happened when God took the rib from Adam and enriched him with a wife.

Is that what he is thinking when he is about to enrich his life with the person he searched for and found? Does he believe that his life has truly been blessed with the gift, the most valuable of gifts, the bond between male and female which is the secret of true faith?

A group of men were meeting for their weekly lunch together. And as is the custom they began to tell each other jokes. One piped up and asked the question: “What did Eve do whenever Adam came home late in the evening?” And he answered his own question: “She counted his ribs.”

Perhaps levity is the order of the day as the groom watches the world around him change forever. After all the world is built by love as the Scriptures tell us. And all the “ribbing” in the world won’t change that.

Is that what a groom thinks on “his day” too? If not, perhaps he should.

Yes, it is Purim

2010-02-19T21:37:00.000-08:00

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.
The Jewish calendar is filled with holidays and observances that relate to our spiritual development and well-being. The year begins with Passover, the birth of freedom. The lesson of Passover is simple: we are free to choose a life of meaning and purpose or a life of emptiness, void of any significance. We move on to Shavuot, the birth of laws and commitments. The lesson of Shavuot is also simple: To live in a world of orderliness signified by respect for judicial conduct. This is followed by Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, the birth of completion through human relationships determined by contrition and self-evaluation. The lessons of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur are not so simple because they require a look into our inner-selves. It is like looking into a mirror and seeing two people: One who we are and one who we would like to be.

One more holiday before we enter the world of lost souls, Purim. The holiday immediately preceding Purim is a minor holiday which has become a major event in modern times, Hanukkah. Hanukkah is now celebrated as a time for re-dedication, a time to revive our pride in sacrifice and fulfillment. The lesson of Hanukkah is a prelude to the commemoration of Purim because it leads us to understand that only with perseverance can we fully determine our destiny. We won the battle of wills but in the process we forgot to remember that might alone is not the salvation for independence.

Purim! It doesn’t fit anywhere in the cycle of spiritual enrichment. At least Hanukkah was given a sacred dimension when the rabbis of the Talmud instructed us about the cruise of oil that lasted eight days instead of one. They taught us the value of and respect for miracles. Purim, on the other hand, reflects self-determination and caution

Here we have an assimilated Jewess. She inter-marries, and for all we know, is not too concerned about her Jewish heritage. She was a beauty queen who ascended to the highest court of royalty. Her life was one of luxury and self-indulgence. But then she is thrown into the spotlight of terror and horror as her uncle Mordecai relates something he overheard that threatened every Jew under Persian rule. Not a candidate for heroics, she finds that her future is intrinsically connected to her fellow Jews and she develops, over time, the courage to stand with them in their hour of need.

This is no small feat. Think about it. You are comfortable and feel connected to your environment and all of a sudden that safety valve is ruptured by someone reminding you that you are different no matter how you feel accepted. You learn very fast that assimilation is not synonymous with abandonment, the abandonment of your past. Esther learns the meaning of valor and she comes through in a meaningful way and becomes the savior of her people.

Haman, the arch villain, befits the embodiment of evil and symbolizes, to this day, the anti-Semitism expressed in so many ways time after time. The Book of Esther describes this: “There is a certain people…whose laws are different from any other people and it is not in your majesty’s interest to tolerate them.” (Esther 3:8) How many times have we heard that before? In the Book of Exodus we read: “There arose a Pharaoh who did not know Joseph..” And that too begins a chapter of human enslavement of mind and body. In our day we learned the meaning of “the final solution.”

Whether the story is fabrication or an exaggerated version of a historical incident, the Book of Esther and Purim have become accepted as part of the festival cycle. The levity and joyfulness is because there is a light at the end of the tunnel of despair. But it also recounts the story of a people who have been dispersed all over this planet. And this story has a deep meaning for each generation in that there is a connection with each generation.

Purim is a time to masquerade as someone else. It is carnival time. It is an escape from reality. It is a way to hide from who we are so that we will not be afraid of hatred. This is true, especially living in the Diaspora because we sometimes feel as outsiders, not part of the mainstream. And has been said so many times in so many ways, Purim gives us the opportunity to rejoice in our salvation while generations before us have not been so lucky.

So we remember and are thankful. If for no other reason, Purim stands out as the one holiday that allows us to know that we are in control of our fate, ever mindful of the help we receive from God.

Life After Death: A Sequel To My Story

2010-01-24T08:44:00.000-08:00

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

In my column titled “To find meaning in death” I began to elaborate on a turbulent time in my life. It was the saddest of times and left me thinking that life had no meaning. I tried to describe the thoughts that ran through my mind as I endured the pain of losing someone who shared my life and my being. Those who have experienced such a nightmare, perhaps, explaining my feelings enabled them to understand that tragedy has a beginning and an end.

This chapter deals with the end which became a new beginning.

In the mystical writings we are taught that we are both male and female before birth and that at birth we split from this sexual combination and then spend the rest of our time here searching for that completion again through finding a mate that will eventually make us whole once more.

The sequel to my story confirms this in a very concrete way. I lost a love only to find love again, validating my belief in the fact that there is “life after death.”

Grieving takes us too many dark corners and each time we try to turn that corner and reach for the light we seem to fall backward until we believe that there are only rough edges that tear at our soul. We try to make sense of our feelings but always, for some reason, return to the emptiness that envelops us.

Our ancestors knew, well before the advent of therapy, that time is the essential healer in reversing our feelings of despondency. It is for this reason the process of “shiva” was created; the ability to reflect and remember and reminisce and even fantasize about what was. It gives us the ability to reconcile the past with the present. And then when the time is finished, the time of regret and remorse and guilt, we begin to resume our lives because that is the essence of completion. The end of this obscurity leads us back to everyday living. We never forget because memory takes hold and is the formula for immortality.

There is woman named Sandra. Her name means “protector of men” and that is exactly what she is. She found me at the most difficult time of my life, a time when life had no meaning. Her beauty and wisdom carried me through the darkest night into a glowing radiance. The brightness of her smile and the gentleness of her touch allowed me to reach that glowing spark of renewal.

The Talmud teaches us that God has endowed women with a special sense of wisdom that man lacks. I believe the lesson is rather simple: There is a compassion that generates goodness and tenderness that is found in women that ennobles us and gives us the ability to reach untold heights as human beings.

She came to me at, what was to me, life’s ebb. She had the ability to give of herself so that newness became my mantle. Sandra knew that erasing the past was not the path to survival. Rather building on the past was the ingredient for success. The past was there forever, the future was built on its history. This was done, and continues to this very day, with sweetness and patience. She has inner warmth that radiates worth.

When I met her my mind turned to poetry and I remembered the words of the poet John Clare. In his poem “First Love” he writes:

“I ne’er was struck before that hour with love so sudden and so sweet,
Her face it bloomed like a sweet flower and stole my heart away complete.
My face turned pale as deadly pale. My legs refused to walk away, and when she looked, what could I ail?
My life and all seemed turned to clay.”

I could not believe that love had returned and took such hold as I began to rise from the ashes of my despondency.

How many people, I wonder, have the opportunity to gain a new life? How many people go to sleep at night thinking all is right with their world only to encounter calamity? How many people search all their lives for completion and finally occurrences that would have made a difference? These questions and more should enable us to learn from each and every episode in the chapters of our lives.

The Torah teaches us that love is as strong as death. This is true. When we lose someone we love there is an ache that travels through us. When we find someone to love, when we find a Sandra to love, we also ache but in a different way. It is the ache of excitement and anticipation. It is the ache of restoration, the restoration of the gifts given to us by God. It is the ache of remembering yesterday as it gives us the ability to continue the journey of vitality.

Now I continue my life fully aware of all that was and with the confidence that tomorrow is another day that I can spend with my memories and with Sandra. Sandra makes me feel this way every hour of every day and she surely taught me that there is “life after death.”

Why

2010-01-10T13:56:00.000-08:00

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

There is a classic Yiddish folk saying that goes: “You have chosen us from among all the nations. Why, O Lord? What did you have against us?”

I think about this phrase containing both sadness and humor rolled up into one expression that has haunted the Jewish People throughout the ages. There is no doubt that we, as a people, have endured numerous efforts to eradicate all memory of us from the human psyche.

We have suffered, not only at the hands of others, but also by self inflicting pain and anguish. The Talmud tells us that the Second Temple was destroyed because of “Seenus Hinum” – self hatred and inner conflicts. If we study the history of the Second Temple period we understand fully what the rabbis of the Talmud were telling us. It was a tragedy witnessing neighbor against neighbor, zealots against liberals, and apologists against nationalists. It was the ultimate destruction of a people and a tradition brought on by self indulgence and passions that transcended reason and logic.When the Temple walls tumbled they brought down with them the hopes and aspirations of a people who witnessed thousands of years of development and contributions that still permeate human society.

I fast forward to today; and by today I mean the twentieth and twenty-first centuries. We were there when, after two thousand years, a people’s longing for return was realized. This was accomplished after the most unimaginable sacrifices. History is replete with stories and depictions of a dark time in humanities development. There can never be enough said or written to fully describe the anguish and torment suffered by so many and inflicted by so few.

David Ben-Gurion once wrote: “Building a State means for us a return to the soil. We found hundreds of Arab villages. We didn’t take them away. We established hundreds of new Jewish villages on new soil. We didn’t merely buy the land, we re-created the land. In the swamps of Hedera hundreds of Jews died of malaria, and they refused to leave that place until it was made healthy. With our toil, our sweat, and with our love and devotion, we are remaking the soil to enable us to settle there, not at the expense of anybody else.”

In that short paragraph he summed up the dreams and aspirations of a people ignored and denigrated but who gave the world the understanding of hope and survival. In that short paragraph was embodied the realization that centuries of humiliation and dehumanization did not alter our determination to complete the work given to us by our forefathers and foremothers as they brought the world from darkness into light.

Theodore Herzl went even further in fewer words when he said: “If you will it, it is not a dream.” The fulfillment of centuries of crying each and every year at Passover: “Next year in Jerusalem,” was not only a clarion call for deliverance, but a willingness to continue the task assigned to us at Sinai: The fulfillment of the human effort at completion and connection, not only to God, but to each other.

Today we are witnessing a return to the days of “Seenus Hinum.” Some call these detractors “self hating Jews.” Others have more descriptive terms. We are observing our own people demonizing a State and its people as they consider the path of survival in a hostile environment. These same people disregard the daily threat to life and limb that is reported as though it were some innocuous experience. And even when we admit that mistakes are made, it is not enough. We must die, for that is the fate of this inglorious people. Mordecai M. Kaplan said it best: “Our emancipation will not be complete until we are free of the fear of being Jews.”

The question remains, why? Why is it necessary for us to turn the other cheek when, if we do, we will lose our face? Why is our hand extended in friendship to all who hate us only to have it ignored? Why does the world gather, on more than once occasion, to condemn this tiny land filled with so few people? Why, oh why, are there many of our own people who join in the chorus of defeatism and destruction?

There are too many “whys.” There are not enough answers. It seems that the “whys” have it. It seems that the ageless question uttered by many Holocaust survivors: “At Auschwitz, where was God?” is still echoed today. And the answer that is given: “Where was man?”

Perhaps that answer is too simple. Life is more complicated than that. Perhaps, though, that answer is sufficient for us to believe that what we must do and what must be done requires us to speak loudly when we see and hear our fellow Jews so misguided and so emancipated that they believe they are not Jews at all but rather “self hating Jews” which, in my opinion is the same as being anti-Semitic.

The Yiddish folk saying may be more prophetic than humorous. And perhaps we should add” What do our own have against us?

Another Year

2010-01-06T17:11:00.001-08:00

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

It seems that time escapes us no matter how we try to hold on to it. It is as though we blink and in that instant we travel to another time and place. Was it yesterday when we were young and full of life? Perhaps it was a moment ago when we were accomplishing things unreachable today. Regardless, here we are entering a New Year. Hopefully it will be a year filled with many achievements and fulfillments.
There are several New Years in the Jewish calendar because there are times and events that shape our lives that require celebration. In fact, each time we enter into a new period of joy we utter the words of the “Shehechaynu” prayer which reminds us of our good fortune in attaining another milestone in our c
Of course, we are all aware of Rosh Hashanah – the New Year that enhances our ability at reconciliation. And there is Passover – the New Year identifying our religious maturity. Perhaps there are those who remember Tu B’Shevat – the New Year dedicated to nature and ecology symbolized by our appreciation of trees. In modern times this is commemorated by planting trees in Israel through the efforts of the Jewish National Fund.
A New Year gives us the opportunity to not only cast off the past but look forward to the future as well. Our responsibility to the betterment of society can and should be part of that awareness. Volunteerism is a part of that determination essential to make a better place for all of us as we develop relationships and forge alliances in human relationships.
Some of us get involved in charitable efforts that enhance our ability to repair the tear in a world that is so fragile that one turn in any direction can lead to disastrous consequences. And there are some who combine their talents to forge a new link in the chain of Jewish survival by walking into the Synagogue and roll up their sleeves and dig right into Jewish life with a commitment of time and resources.
The people who devote their energies in Synagogue endeavors are, to me, the unsung heroes of Judaism’s connection to the past and the sanctity of moral living through the continuing link in the chain of Divine aspirations. To say that this task is awesome would be to understate the nature of leading a congregation in achieving its durability.
I am reminded about a quote attributed to the 11th century poet, Moses Ibn Ezra, who is credited with writing a great many of the Selichot prayers we utter each High Holiday season. The quote I am referring to, which aptly describes the frustrations of congregation leaders: “Pleasing everyone is an impossible aim, and escaping all criticism is an unattainable goal.” I am sure those who have chosen to serve know full well the truth of his wisdom.
There are those who will argue that the panacea for the continuation of Jewish thought and pronouncements is not the synagogue but rather adherence to traditions and laws and customs that have become so interwoven that we really can’t discern one from the other. I reject this notion because, to me, the synagogue represents all these things and more.
The synagogue was designed to bring together all forms of religious observance. It was created to deliver a place and time for study and worship that otherwise would not be part of our daily expressions. How many set aside a certain time for prayer or a certain time for learning? Not too many. We are busy with all sorts of issues that require time and money for everyday living. Perhaps there are occasions that draw our attention heavenward, but they are nowhere near the time needed for gratitude and sorrow.
Each denomination in Judaism claims adherents but in reality the actual involvement in a particular synagogue, in most cases, is not related to our religious fervor. We attend a particular synagogue because of past connections or familiarity or location. There are those who profess to follow a certain religious doctrine and are motivated to do so because of strong conviction but they are not the majority but rather a minority.
Judaism without the centrality of the synagogue will not survive. Say what you will about organized religion, its purpose is undeniable and its function undisputed: To maintain that tie that will ensure religious survival. Supporting the synagogue is tantamount to observing all the laws because it leads you to them. The Temple in Jerusalem was ordained because it was the focal point of all things Holy and all things necessary for life. To hold the value of our synagogues in any less stature is to demean the essence of our heritage and the fountain of commitment in disrepute.
So here we are – a New Year not only representing the march of time but also marking the belief in creation through the care and concern of nature. And here we are welcoming and encouraging involvement in our religious institutions so that the task necessary for Jewish association will be solidified for the next generation and beyond.
Let us remember that each of us brings to the table of Jewish delights different backgrounds and thoughts and ideals. Some come from traditional backgrounds, some from liberal leanings and some from no involvement at all. However, we all join together to create an atmosphere of caring and commitment to Jewish living. And just as we are different so are our understandings of faith. This is the strength of which we are – not the weakness.
Perhaps Erich Fromm said it best: “The danger in the past was that men became slaves. The danger of the future is that men may become robots.” Diversity allows us the opportunity to develop and grow, and what better place than in the synagogue in the New Year. This certainly is cause to repeat the words of the “Shehechayanu” prayer and understand it.

Defending Your Life

2009-12-04T17:56:00.000-08:00

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

Here is Hanukkah. And we retell the stories of the occurrences that took place 2,174years ago. We remember the salvation of a people and their faith that resonates to today. Truth be told, if it were not for Hanukkah there would be no faith to cling to.

The last jar of oil represented the last best hope of humanity to forever enshrine in their memory the beginning of life. The flame that burned enabled countless generations to cling to the possibility of a future filled with greatness and connection to a concept of Holiness and fulfillment. The light that emanated from the Candelabra still brightens our path to the understanding of the uniqueness in each of us.

Hanukkah is also a time to consider the value of life. Each of us is constantly fighting battles of survival. We go through life as though it were some exercise such as weight lifting or jogging or dieting. When will we be able to stop and understand that life is more than self gratification or unnecessary indulgence? When will be able to put aside “I can’t” to ”I can?” When will we begin to defend our lives as though they matter?

I recently watched a movie titled “Defending Your Life” in which humans, upon death, are sent to a staging area to begin the process of explaining their experiences during their lifetime. It was rather amazing to watch the principal players engaged in describing details of their lives from childhood to the time of their death.

As you can imagine, there were scenes of childhood disappointments and adult frustrations. We have all had them in some form or another. Whether it was the neighborhood bully taunting us or the awkwardness of adolescence or the insecurities of dating and seeking acceptance, each of us has traveled that road once or twice.

What would we say in defense of our lives? Who would we call to explain our experiments in growing up, defining them as innocent blips in the test of life’s experiences? Were there so many “I can’t’s” instead of “I cans?” When we are asked to answer for our deeds and misdeeds will we be able to stand defiant and say that what we did we do because we believed in what we were doing? Or will we be forced to admit that we could have done better and perhaps with more time things would have been different.

There is a classic expression (author unknown) that states:
When you die
God and the Angels
Will hold you accountable
For all the pleasures you
Were allowed in life
That you denied yourself.

We were all created in the image of God and yet we are all unique. But we all represent the oneness of creation. Together, as one human family, we are united in our quest for justice and mercy. We search for the light that will guide us in making this world good. Our responsibility lies in being helpful and charitable. More than that, however, we are obligated to enhance our lives by reaching out to not only touch someone but to accept the gifts we sometimes shun aside needlessly.

In the book “Chicken Soup for the Soul” the authors relate a story about “I can” and “I can’t” in which is described a lesson for all of us. We need to learn to bury the “I can’t” so that our lives will have meaning. We bury the “I can’t” so that when the time comes to defend our lives we will have realized that life is to live.

Only then can we appreciate that burying “I can’t” enabled a band of zealots the opportunity to take control of their lives so that we are able to enjoy this season. Hanukkah is filled with “I can” and because of this outlook we will not have to worry about defending ourselves because we didn’t turn our backs on the gift of the burning light of our endurance.

To Find Meaning In Death

2009-11-28T09:34:00.000-08:00

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

At the moment of his death, the Ba’al Shem Tov said, “Now I know why I was created.” The profoundness of this declaration gives us a glimpse into an intense understanding of life.

We know that we are born to die but what we do with the in-between contains the sum total of our worth and significance. The in-between involves so much pain and healing, so much conflict and resolution, so much joy and sorrow. Sometimes we wonder about the value of life itself.

These thoughts and more were part of my experience as I witnessed a loved one melt into another world, another dimension. Losing someone we love and cherish is, to say the least, an episode in anguish and turmoil. Losing someone we love can also be inspirational even when our grief is beyond expression.

There lived a woman named Anita. She was a daughter, a sister, a wife and a mother. And she was all those things and more in just forty-one years. That is a lot of existence in so short a period of time. But she accomplished this with dignity and grace. And she ended her days in this same state of elegance that was the hallmark of her sojourn here on Earth.

My heart ached watching her suffer and go through endless ordeals in futile attempts to gain time and hopefully to find some magical cure. She travelled great distances in search of that elusive relief.

Her children, siblings and mother, all lived this nightmare with us. Some were able to cope and support, some were tortured by her suffering. I learned a great deal from this experience, not only as a husband, but also as a person of faith. I counseled many people over the years on how to cope with adversity and now, when faced with the same ordeal, found no consolation in my words.

I turned inward. I functioned as a parent and a cleric, but it was as though I were going through these exercises in a state of disconnection. All seemed lost to the point where I even doubted who I was and what I was doing. Despair and depression set in like it found a home to rest and be nurtured.

One day I found myself reaching for a book in my library. The book I touched and began to fondle was Psalms. I opened the page to the twenty-third Psalm as I did for so many others who looked to me for comfort and solace. This time, however, I studied each word and looked for meanings that were not apparent to me before.

I found one particular sentence which reads: Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil.” For the first time I realized what the Psalmist was trying to relate. He talks about walking through the valley of death, not to the valley of death. I read it over and over again and appreciated that even though we suffer tragic losses in our lives, we need to understand that passing through these terrible episodes gives us the ability to continuing living.

She was a noble woman; in fact she was ennobling because of her demeanor and fortitude. She fought the valiant fight and she lost. But she lost with dignity and for that I came to understand an even greater feeling of connection to my Creator. I knew in an instant after reading this Psalm that sometimes we lose someone we love, someone who has an immense impact on our lives, and we wonder about it all, but the we realize that having known this person can make us stronger.

Her legacy may not be written in books but it is imbedded in how I live my life and how I treat others who look to me for understanding and compassion. Her legacy will be written on a little stone in a cemetery that indicates there once was a woman named Anita who lived, loved, laughed, cried and died. Her reward will be that which only God can give, the gift of life everlasting. She deserves no less.

I finally realized that God, in His infinite mercy, reached out to bring her soul to His bosom in eternal gratitude for a life well spent that contained mercy and forgiveness. Those thoughts help me, to this very day, twenty-eight years later, know that faith is dependent on knowing that there are things in life over which we have no control. But we have an obligation to live to the fullest and appreciate those who travel that road of life with us as well.

I now understand what the Ba"al Shem Tov meant and that from Anita's death I learned the profound meaning of her life.

Reform Vs. Conform

2009-11-05T09:10:00.000-08:00

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

According to Webster’s Dictionary, reform means to improve or to change something for the better. And thumbing through the pages of this very same dictionary we stop at the word conform, and we learn that its meaning is to make or become similar; to be in agreement. These meanings, to me, indicate the turbulent storm that has erupted in the Judaism’s Reform Movement.

On the one hand Reform Judaism was designed to give meaning to today’s world. And today’s world includes yesterday, today and tomorrow. As the world turns so does our understanding of its purpose and significance. The understandings of yesterday do not fit neatly into the world we live in today.

Yesterday contained no computers or space travel. Yesterday was filled with disasters that boggle the imagination. Yesterday was good for one thing: To bring us to today with all the new discoveries and means to adapt these revelations to life as experienced right now.

Today we accept modernization and experimentation as a way of life not a figment of some dark corner of the mind that has taken us to sinister places. Today we know that the vastness of the universe reminds us that the ability to accomplish things is as endless as time and space.

We have learned through trial and error that we are not committing sins of omission but rather methods by which growth can be maintained. We are not destroying the fabric of human existence but rather enhancing its possibilities. Growth can only be maintained with continuous speculation.

Reform Judaism understood that the past is an essential ingredient in reaching for the future. You cannot assume to know the goodness or proficiencies of human endurance without regard for the past.

I, certainly, am not an expert on Reform Judaism. Nor am I a participant in its deliberations and pronouncements. What I do know of it I learned from experience and from books. But what I extracted from all the research and living as a Reform Jew and Reform rabbi was one vital fact: Reform Judaism was created to bridge the gap between traditionalism and secularism. Having been trained in traditional Judaism enables me to fully appreciate the value of Reform Judaism’s approach to the universal understanding of God.

Reform Judaism’s most potent weapon was a small word, inclusion. It understood that Judaism could not and would not continue to grow and develop if it remained in a vacuum. Telling fellow Jews that if they did not fit into a narrow definition of religious completion that they would forever be isolated was an enigma.

Reform Judaism teaches that there is no value to Judaism if it does not seem relevant or necessary in every day life. Where is the future of the Jewish People if we live only in the past without trying to reach for the present and the future? That is the underlying characteristic that makes Reform Judaism important for the continuity of the generations and the perpetuation of a dream that began with a man called Abraham.

Even the rabbis of the Talmud were forever engaged in making Judaism relevant for their generation. There are constant references to the learning centers of Bait Hillel and Bait Shammai, the House of Hillel and the House of Shammai. Shammai was considered more rigid and inflexible while Hillel was more liberal in the transmission of religious thought and its interpretation. Reform Judaism follows the standard set by Talmudic expression and relates to this definition of relevancy.

On the other hand I have noticed a resurgence of traditional expressions in Reform Judaism. I have always marveled at the somewhat intimidated attitude that can be found among Reform rabbis. It is as though they consider themselves inferior to their more traditional counterparts. They are more deferential to Jews who profess to be true Torah adherents. Perhaps some think that they are not legitimate and therefore must resort to introducing a different kind of Jewish acceptance.

Inclusion, which was the hallmark of Reform Judaism, has been replaced by exclusion. Tampering with traditional attitudes now seems to be a repudiation of religious living. We see Reform congregations building Mikvehs (ritual baths) for conversion or other purposes. We find Reform rabbis refusing to participate in interfaith marriages.

When people reach out and our hand is not there to take theirs, what have we done? Alienation is not the road to acceptance. If Judaism is to remain vibrant and relevant then we need to be as inclusive as we possibly can, not to dilute but to be an example. To teach that even today Shammai is still relegated to the next world as described in the Talmud. To make clear that Hillel is the path to involvement and continuation.

Perhaps when Reform rabbis feel secure in who they are we too will feel comfortable in Reform Jewish fervor. If our people are not afraid to identify, in whatever form, why should we Reform rabbis tell them to change or be sidelined?

Are we reformists or conformists? That is the question. It should be a continuing debate that should be in the forefront of attempting to bring relevance to an ancient faith that deserves better than excluding many of its adherents. I wonder if the Conservative Movement realizes that the Reform Movement is the new you!

There is a classic story about a man coming to the saintly Sage, the Ba’al Shem Tov and remarked that his son had abandoned God. In desperation the man asked, “What shall I do, Rabbi?” And the Ba’al Shem Tov answered, “Love him even more than ever.” Is that not what the founders of Reform Judaism going back to Spinoza had in mind when they sat and determined that the future of Judaism was not only in yesterday but in today which will guarantee tomorrow? Which will it be reform or conform?

Sacrifice

2009-11-02T11:39:00.000-08:00

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

In November one of the weekly scriptural readings relates the story of the life and death of our first matriarch – Sarah. Her story is a testament to survival and continuity. It is a story that has significance for us today as it did when it occurred.

In November we commemorate the sacrifice and devotion of men and women who answered the call to duty and draped themselves not only in a uniform but in a feeling of commitment and affection. We honor all our Veterans – whether yesterday or today.

In November we pay tribute to pioneers who left the security of their native lands to journey to a place that offered safe haven and refuge from despots. They too gave up everything for an ideal that spoke to them in ways humanity has longed for since the beginning of time. We pause to give thanks to Almighty God for the success of their journey and the freedom we inherited from them. This is Thanksgiving in the highest sense.

All three are connected because the Torah talks to us about attachments and responsibility and dreams.

Sarah, the matriarch of our people gives birth in the winter of her life, a time when all things sleep and wither and even die. Her vision of continuity was fulfilled with laughter and tears. The portion of scripture we read tonight encompasses a spiritual experience of faith and devotion of a father answering the call of sacrifice. And the chapter deals with her death caused by despair and loss of faith as she attempts to understand the need for such an inhuman act as the death of her son to answer a mysterious voice taking from her the one thing she longed for her whole life.

Then this particular chapter continues with a search for a place in the sun for Isaac and the continuation of a promise made in the wilderness by this same voice no one can identify. And then the reading ends with the death of Abraham.

Think about it – we witness in this reading anguish, birth, despair, a promise for the future and the end of an era. Therein lays the connection.

The detail of a mother’s anguish and pain speaks to the suffering all mothers and fathers feel as they send their children off to war, to answer the call of their country. It wasn’t that long ago when banners with stars hung in practically every window of every home indicating that a loved one was somewhere fighting and dying for the same cause our ancestors fought for.

It wasn’t that long ago when people set sail on a journey that held no promise other than the assurance of freedom from tyranny. And there were mothers and fathers who witnessed the death of their children from disease and starvation, but they carried on with determination and fortitude.

Yes, the lessons of November are rather simple: Sometimes we go through experiences that require us to search for new meanings because of disappointments, tragedies or illness. Sometimes we go through unimaginable sacrifices to ensure that the gifts inherited by us from God can have significance. Sometimes we find it difficult to communicate with a loved one or reach out to help someone in need.

All these efforts can be summed up in a simple Torah reading, or a tribute to a service man or woman, or in the humbleness of a holiday that brings us closer to each other with memories of days and weeks and years of smiles and tears.

Sarah speaks to us in ways that bring our attention to the important things in life. Her story offers us the ability to enter into a spiritual awakening: To love each other and treat each other with dignity and to stand in awe of each other.

When you see a man or woman wearing the uniform of our country, stop and salute them. When you enter a restaurant and see a person in uniform waiting to be served, step right up and pay that bill and say “Thank you” for a job well done. It wasn’t that long ago when we looked at these people with disdain. That was a dark period in our history. We gave them no choice and then turned our backs on them when they returned.

Continuity, service and thanksgiving – what a month – what a history – what a feeling of accomplishment not only as Jews but as Americans; that is what November represents.

May God bless our Veterans, past and present, bless our country and above all bless us all with good health and happiness as we join together to remember our past and forge ahead with thankfulness to the ONE who is with us all the days of our lives.
AMEN

Love For All, Hatred For None

2009-10-21T11:58:00.000-07:00

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

Romans 13:8-9 (Christianity): “Owe no one anything except to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law. For all the commandments…are all summed up in this one rule: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ Love does no harm to its neighbor; therefore, love is the fulfillment of the law.”

Number 13 of Imam”Al-Nawaawi’s Forty Hadiths (Islam): “No one of you is a believer until he desires for his brother that which he desires for himself.”

Leviticus 19:33 (Judaism): “When a stranger resides with you in your land, you shall not wrong him. The stranger who resides with you shall be to you as one of your citizens; you shall love him as yourself…”

Analects 12:2 (Confucianism): “Do not do to others what you would not like yourself. Then there will be no resentment against you, either in the family or in the state.”

Udana-Varga 5,1 (Buddhism): “Hurt not others in ways that you yourself would find hurtful.”

Mahagharata 5, 1517 (Hinduism): “This is the sum of duty: Do naught unto others what you would not have them do unto you.”

Baha’u’llah (Baha’i World Faith): “Ascribe not to any soul that which thou wouldst not have ascribed to thee, and say not that which thou doest not.”

The Great Law of Peace (Native American Spirituality): “Respect for all life is the foundation.”

The common denominator in all of these faith-based writings can simply be put into one word: Love. And yet, when we look at the history of religious fervor and instruction we also see a world of hate. It is ironic that so many people can borrow concepts of God and unity and love and not follow the dictates of what they prescribe.

The history of our world contains descriptions of wars fought because of religious passion to the extent that all of its teachings are meaningless. People are killed; nations threaten each other, all in the name of God. And it is this same God that gave us the understanding of brotherly love as well as the flames of hatred and division. How is that possible? Perhaps it is possible because in our minds, God is considered to be aloof.

Early Biblical writings describe a personal God, concerned and participating in the actions of everyday living. From Adam and Eve, to Noah, to Abraham, to Moses, to Jesus, to Mohammed, God is directly involved in the happenings that enabled mankind to flourish and progress.

Today we seem to be all alone, drifting in an endless sea of moral decay. Wars are fought because of hate and it trickles down to our everyday existence. We find neighbor against neighbor, gays and straights fighting for individual acceptance and recognition, black verses white, religious intolerance because some consider themselves the true believers and those that differ are classified as non-believers.

The foundation for living a meaningful life was the foundation of Judaism and started over 3,000 years ago in the “Book” we refer to as the Torah, a document that was the guide for all ethics in the universe.

This text reminds us of the sameness of all human beings, and can be found in Genesis, Chapter One, “And God made humans in God’s image. And no matter what your concept of God is, it is clear that each of us, Jew and non-Jew, woman and man is created in God’s image.

In a world where basic human rights are too frequently violated, our Torah seeks to make this teaching into a sacred mandate. God is in all of us, even those who we appear to be Godless.

And Scripture continues to expand this idea as described in Leviticus commanding us to love each other as we love ourselves. Maimonides, the great physician and philosopher of the middle ages explains it as a matter of human right.

We go to our respective houses of worship expecting to hear words of encouragement and expressions of love and what we find, in some instances, are diatribes of hate and mistrust. We are told that if you don’t believe in a particular way then you cannot be accepted by God. We are led to believe that God only favors those who follow the dictates of one group over another. This certainly is not love for all and hatred for none.

Faith was designed to give us the ability to understand each other. It stands to reason that if we love God, a God whom we have never seen, then we certainly should love one another here in the flesh. To have faith is to believe completely that we were all created in the image of God and as such represent the true essence of Godliness. To have faith is to remain steadfast in our belief that God is the God of all people and that just as we are different so is God in our minds. There is no one concept that incorporates all that God is, nor can we truly comprehend the endlessness of God

Stand with a friend or relative and look in the mirror. What do you see? An individual as different from the next person looking in that same mirror. And if each of us is different, yet created in the image of God, then the answer to love can be found in our understanding of our difference and uniqueness. And then we must continue to search for God as we are forever searching for our place in the universe. And we cannot expect to find God if we can’t even find ourselves. Perhaps that is why God doesn’t seem to be part of everyday expressions.

A saintly sage once wrote that with faith there are no questions but without faith there are no answers. And as we read in Deuteronomy: “You shall find Him, if you search after Him with all your heart and with all your soul.” And finding God does not require denigrating others who believe differently but rather accepting that there are many paths to God, none more sacred than the other. And knowing that God is the ultimate provider of human existence makes it clear that He chose for us the various paths so that true understanding and belief can be shared to enhance our lives.

There is a classic Yiddish folk saying: “If God gave us teeth, He will give us bread.” Chew on that for a while and you will know that we all don’t have the same appetite or tastes or desires. God is not aloof. We just don’t seem to be able to reach out to grab His hand. Is that a reason to hate? No, it is a reason to learn from each other so that we can all appreciate the goodness of love for all and hatred for none.

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The Meaning of Faith

2009-10-21T08:24:00.000-07:00

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

I am very fond of old time radio. I listen religiously to satellite radio because one particular channel plays radio programs from the “Golden Age of Radio.”

Naturally they bring back memories of my childhood. For example, I remember the coal truck delivering coal to our apartment building. The coal was burned in huge furnaces and the heat from the burning coal was transferred to each and every apartment through radiators. You could hear the steam escaping through the pipes.

There are many such memories: during the summer the Good Humor man would ride around the neighborhoods to bring relief in the form of ice cream pops or popsicles. Following him would be the ice truck delivering ice to people with no refrigerators. While he was delivering his ice we would sneak up to the truck and chip off a piece to suck in our mouths.

There were street games such as stick ball or curb ball. Some of my friends who had roller skates would get large orange crates and nail their skates to the bottom and create scooters to ride the streets.

It was a time of dreaming and innocence. It was a time of heroes like Joe DiMaggio or Yoggi Berra or Jackie Robinson. It was a time of unmentionable courage as everyone joined together to support the war effort. Rock and Roll was born. The corner candy store was our meeting place and all was well with the world, our little corner of the world, that is.

One particular program on satellite radio that caught my attention was one called Family Theater. It was originally started by a Catholic priest to offer faith and encouragement during the bleak times of the depression and the war. Eventually it became a program for everyone to listen to.

There was one story I heard recently on that program which I think speaks to who we are and what we are capable of being and of faith.

It was a story of a man who spent 35 years on one job and was getting ready to retire. Unfortunately his wife died before they could realize their dream, the dream they saved for over the 35 years, the dream of traveling around the world.

After his wife died he decided to move into a rooming house rather than live alone. The owner of the rooming house was a woman who had a son who desperately needed an operation to fix a back problem that prevented him from walking without pain. He became attached to the boy and would read to him and bring him little treats. And he had a co-worker, a young girl, always wanted to be an artist but could not attend art school because the scholarship she needed was not available.

I think you can guess the end of the story. He took the money he and his wife had saved and paid for the boy’s operation – he put the girl through art school and even donated the balance to the town fund raising effort for a new hospital.

Yes, it’s corny. The end of the story is easy to determine even before it’s told. But as I listened tears swelled in my eyes. I knew it was mushy and sentimental, but I couldn’t help but feel the pain of all concerned. And then I understood why it filled me with such emotion.

My youth returned, my childhood memories and I remembered those days. And as I thought about them I turned my attention to today. Here we are, at this time in our lives always asking for remembrance and kindness from God; asking Him to remember who we are and help us in our attempt at daily living.

Our purpose in life is not only its fulfillment but the opportunities presented to us to make life bearable for others as well. The every day experiences should teach us to realize that we are not alone in this journey of life. There are those less fortunate, those who depend on the charity of others to survive.

How many times have we witnessed poverty and homelessness only to turn our backs and pretend that it doesn’t exist? How many times have we had the ability to extend a helping hand only to withdraw that outstretched effort because of selfishness of indifference?

Memories are mostly fun because they contain only good thoughts. Memories are designed to enhance our faith in our ability to survive. After all we did survive the past and are now seated here in the present knowing full well that we have a future because of our faith in ourselves and in God.

However, there are those who renounce faith like it is some kind of yoke, a burden. There is the story of a man driving his car too fast down a treacherous mountain pass. The car goes over the cliff, and the man barely survives by reaching out and grabbing a clump of bushes growing from the side of the mountain wall.

Dangling in space, the man pleads with God. “Please help me.” God calls out to the man. “You want my help?” “Yes,” says the man, “Anything,” “Anything.” “I’ll help you on one condition” says the voice of God. Again the man repeats, “Anything!” “All right,” says God. “Trust me and let go.” The man hears the message, thinks about it for a minute. And then shouts: “Is there anybody out there who can help me?”

Yes, there is someone out there to help us and be with us and guide us and care for us. All it takes is a little faith and remembrance of those days gone by and the faith in those yet to be.

The Agony of Life

2009-09-02T08:39:00.000-07:00

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

How time flies! It is as if we were standing on this spot at this time just a short time ago. As we get older time seems to pass even quicker. In one instant we were learning to walk and talk and in the next we are finding it difficult to even understand what was let alone anticipate what will be.

The High Holidays will soon be here and with them thoughts of reconciliation and introspection. At this time we begin to understand the need for us to re-evaluate our lives; the deeds and misdeeds of the past year. At this time we begin to understand that fulfillment is achieved by believing that our destiny is determined by our comprehension of the value of life. At this time we begin to understand that loneliness can be overcome with love; that offense is overcome by forgiveness; that the joys we experience should be accompanied by gratitude.

The High Holidays can and should be a time for us to consider that we are not alone in the struggle of life. We have a partner. God is our partner. Sometimes in our despair we think that no one cares, especially God and we question the very existence of our Creator because of our pain. We cry out for answers never truly understanding that God is right here, right by our side, and at times even carrying us in His arms to rest our weary feet from the sad parts of our journey.

Margaret Fishback Powers wrote an essay titled “Footprints.” In it she writes of a dream she had. She was walking along the beach with her God. As she walked scenes of her life flashed in front of her. And with each step she took she saw two sets of footprints in the sand, one belonging to her and the other belonging to God. Then as the last scene of her life flashed she noticed only one set of footprints. She thought of this as the lowest and saddest time of her life.

She was so troubled and began to question God by reminding Him that He had promised to be with her all the way, all during her journey of life. She continued to question as to whether God had remembered His promise and that during her most troublesome time she noticed there was only one set of footprints in the sand. Her faith seemed to be shattered and she questioned even more by asking why during her moist difficult time was God not beside her, walking with her.

Then she continues her story but explaining what all of us should know but tend to forget: That there is only one set of footprints because at the time of our suffering, the time of great despair, it is then that God carries us. This is why we may see only one set of footprints.

The High Holidays afford us the opportunity to be thankful while we are reliving what was and contemplating what will be. Now we are at a juncture in the road of our journey
that allows us to consider the gratitude we need to speak not only to God but to our family and friends. There are times when we feel that we are alone. There are times when we seem to forget that with an outstretched hand we are able to touch another hand.

So here we are at this time in our lives. A time set aside by design to enable us to reconnoiter, to stop time and remind ourselves that we are part of a sacred undertaking: A pilgrimage in search of completion. Though we cannot fully comprehend the essence of our being we still accept life as a gift from God.

Our lives are filled with so many occasions. There is birth, marriage, sickness, health, weakness, strength, victory and defeat. There is death, but there is also eternal life. All these make up what we refer to as the journey of life. We celebrate and we mourn, we laugh and we cry. And through all of these encounters we should still remember to thank God for allowing us the opportunity to make this journey, to experience the agonies and the ecstasies.

Perhaps the true meaning of the High Holiday season can best be summed up by something a friend of mine wrote, one of many of his writings and is a translation from the Book of Proverbs. His name is Danny Siegel. A man of virtue and understanding, of charity and compassion who I am privileged to know and respect:

If you will always assume
the person sitting next to you is the messiah
waiting for some human kindness.
You will soon learn to weigh your words
and watch your hands.
And if he so chooses not to reveal himself
in your time,
it will not matter.

A Nation of Cowards

2009-08-10T08:22:00.000-07:00

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

There is a story about a member of the Knesset (Israel’s Parliament), well known for his irascible temper and sharp tongue, who became so incensed one day that he leaped from his chair and shouted, “Half of the Parliament are jackasses!”

There immediately arose angry shouts, catcalls and demands that he apologize forthwith or be ejected from the chamber.

“All right, I take it back, “he grumbled. “Half of this Parliament are not jackasses!”

I was reminded of this story because it speaks to an issue recently described in all the news media about a comment made by the Attorney General of The United States. He was discussing race relations in this country and alluded to the fact that we are not honest in our discussions. In fact he went so far as to state that we are a nation of cowards because we skirt the issue and never face it head-on.

The truth of the matter is that his assessment is correct and not for the reasons that we may believe.

During the presidential debates, primaries and subsequent election this fact was brought to the forefront. The “race issue” was in the background and at times even came forward as we proceeded to find a suitable candidate and eventually a suitable selection to occupy the highest office in the land.

Race relations in this country have gone through a metamorphosis more than once. The moral aspect of our national character was achieved with the advent of the civil rights movement of the early 1950’s and eventually was established as a national priority because of personalities like the Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr., the Revs. Abernathy and Jackson, Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel, President Lyndon Johnson, and the congress. It eventually took on a spiritual significance because everyone associated this moment in time with the Exodus of the Israelites from Egyptian bondage. A spiritual song was written depicting that episode in human history and became the national anthem of the civil rights movement.

There were so many people responsible for the enlightenment that was achieved; students, business people, all people of good will were drawn to its banner. People died, were subjected to inhumane treatment and degradation. But when the dust settled there was a commitment supported by the people and their government to ensure that the progress achieved would remain part of our national conscience.

However, now we find that when we really attempt dialogue our intent and sincerity are brought into question. Discussions cannot take place without recriminations. If we really wanted to confront the question of equality we would put aside accusations and not cower at the thought of honest discourse.

Presently we are witnessing white firefighters accusing others of reverse discrimination. We are engaged in determining who will sit on the Supreme Court of the United States to fill the vacancy created with the retirement of Justice Souter. The nominee chosen by the president, who happens to be Latino, appears to be willing to define competency by gender and race.

And if such pronouncements were made by others, not of color there would be screams of racism and bigotry. Is this honest dialogue, honest debate? Is this how we face the issue? We need to be able to speak with clarity and to question that which we find objectionable without fear of recriminations. Maybe we are a nation of cowards because we cower at the thought of accusations which inhibits candor.

Perhaps the Attorney General of the United States should welcome an honest exchange. I challenge the notion that we are a “nation of cowards.” There is intimidation and we are made to feel as though we are bigots because we would really like to clear the air and have honesty as part of our dealings with one another.

Can we ever sit down and really talk? Can we ever face each other and be honest without the fear of being called racist? The ultimate path to complete equality is truthfulness. So yes, like the member of parliament so aptly described, half of us are not sincere but the other half would like to be. No insults, no catcalling, no apologies.

In Midrash Rabbah we learn that God cares for what you do more than for what your ancestors did. The past brought us to this time and place but the present will determine our future. We should not ask that past sins be forgiven but rather that we act with better insight, together with a simplistic understanding of faith, then perhaps we will be able to carry out our mandate as God’s children: To live in peace and harmony as one connected to the other which will bring us the connection to God we so sorely need. This does not breed cowardice, but rather a true meaning of human dignity.

Martin Luther King, Jr. did not get to the promised land but he had a vision and that vision is now a reality. Moses too gazed over the valley to view the ultimate reward but was denied the opportunity to participate in the triumph over adversity. It is time to go forward and continue to search for the meaning of acceptance and forgiveness and entitlement because we, their progeny, did cross over the river into a free and just society, not of cowards but of free men, women and children.

Let's Not Prejudge-But! Chapter Three

2009-08-07T08:16:00.000-07:00

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

Review: In my first article ( dated January 7, 2009) I indicated a concern regarding the outreach to the Muslim world: “I am concerned about recent statements coming from the president-elect (he was not sworn in yet) indicating a desire and more than that a commitment to establish close ties to the Muslim countries in general and individual Muslims in particular. The bells are ringing in my ears.” I indicated that while dialogue is essential for people to understand each other, I was concerned that this would lead to further hatred because truth would not be the message received.

In my second article (dated February 18, 2009 I indicated in more explicit terms the stark facts of the far left wing making every attempt to pacify the extremists in order to feel more secure: “…There is a feeling in the left wing liberal community that we owe an apology to the Muslim world for all the so-called missteps made by America.” Where are the apologies from the Muslim world for the attacks on our country? Where is the appreciation for our country coming to the aid of their fellow Muslim countries such as Kuwait who was cowardly attacked by a fellow Muslim country and practically destroyed its infra-structure?

Recent events seem to bear out my concern: The despicable, indiscriminate shooting at the United States Holocaust Museum, the murder of an American soldier buy a Muslim convert, the attempt to bomb synagogues in New York. These are just a few examples of the hate that seems to be permeating our society in more overt ways.

And we have witnessed the President of the United States visiting Muslim countries espousing the same rhetoric of apology and distortion of truth. No where in his speech did we hear about the over 2000 years of striving for the return to the land belonging to our ancestors. No where is his speech did we hear about the 60 years of attempts to destroy the State of Israel and even today the charters of these terrorist organizations clearly state that the ultimate goal is the annihilation of the Jewish people.

I listened and could not understand the message because it was sprinkled with innuendos and untruths as to the historic aspect of Israel’s right to exist. The State of Israel was not only born out of the ashes of the Holocaust. The State of Israel was always a part of the history of our people and acknowledged by the world going back to World War One. Does no one remember the Balfour Declaration? Declaring that the birth of Israel was directly related to the Holocaust is a perversion of true historical fact. Israel existed before the United States, before there was such a thing called Palestine, before most of the countries now settled in the Middle East. That is not fiction – that is truth.

Now we hear conversations from all corners of the Arab world justifying its comparison to the plight of the Palestinians and equating the suffering of the Jewish People to the misery experienced by Arabs and Muslims used as pawns in the never ending policy of destroying Israel and the Jewish People. That is not fiction – that is truth.

On and on our president explained his rational for this historic trip. But a visit to Israel was not part of the agenda because it is abundantly clear that his interests do not include bringing peace to the table in a fair and equitable manner. His speech did not include the murder of women and children or the Muslim world applauding their own innocent children being sent as human bombs to kill other innocent children. His speech did not include the facts that previous Israeli administrations offered total peace with land exchange that was rebuffed on more than one occasion.

No where in his speech did he mention that Israel is the only true democratic country in the entire region and the words of encouragement he gave the women of these Muslim countries in no way resembled the truth of their subjugation. No where in his speech, when attempting to show that Islam is a tolerant and peace loving religion, did he mention that our troops stationed in the region to protect and defend their sovereignty, are not allowed to display the symbols of their faith nor practice it in any place but in the confines of their bases of operation. Even our Chaplains are not permitted to display the symbols that are part of their uniforms for fear of antagonizing the Muslim population. He acknowledged that 1200 Mosques can be found in America but show me one Synagogue or Church in Saudi Arabia.

No where in his remarks did he review the history of Jerusalem and its significance to Israel and the Jewish People. Jerusalem was founded by King David as the capital of a united Israel in the year 990BCE, sixteen hundred years before the advent of Islam. The Temple, which was erected by Solomon stood on Mt. Moriah and was destroyed by the Babylonians in the year 586BCE. Twelve hundred years before the birth of Islam.

The second Temple was destroyed by the Romans in 70CE, seven hundred years before Islam became a religion. Jerusalem has always been central to Jewish thought and life. To suggest otherwise is to legitimize the myth that the Jewish People have no claim to the land or its capital.

No where in his pronouncements did he bring up the systematic attempt to destroy the State of Israel economically with boycotts and embargos which include threats to companies and countries who are involved in free trade with Israel.

In my follow-up article I wrote: “If I were to write a letter to the President of the United States it would flatly state that the lessons of history are still fresh in our minds. Appeasement is an invitation for disaster. The open hand is an invitation not a declaration. Clenched fists need to be neutralized so that they do not strike a blow that begets another blow. Learn to accept separation as a way of life not a testament to failure.”

I continued: “If I were to write a letter to the President of the United States I would encourage dialogue but with the understanding that talk alone is not the panacea to the completion of a dream. Every country on the face of the Earth has aspirations and not all of them fit neatly into our understanding of life and liberty. You were not elected because you are different but because you shared a vision and that vision gave us hope.”

No time in the history of our relationship with Israel has our country shown such contempt and disregard for the ties that bind us together. These ties were supposed to be eternal because we believed in the same principles of eliminating human suffering through strength of purpose. Our American heritage is connected to the conviction that we are under the guidance of a Creator and would be a beacon for the world. This is what made us the inspiration for all to emulate.

Sacrificing our ideals for the expediency of connectiveness with those who hate us and wish to destroy us will only make their efforts stronger because of our perceived weakness. We have seen this happen time and again. “If we don’t learn from history we are doomed to repeat it.” Have we not witnessed this before, in our time? The 20th century contained some of the most darkest moments in our history. Are we to experience the same in the 21st century?

The recent events that have brought the horrors of hate to the forefront are symptomatic of the illness of prejudice that is rampant in our society and around the world. We can’t eradicate distrust by encouraging the repetition of falsehoods or the distortion of history. We can’t bring about peace and harmony by denigrating one people to appease another.

Where is the openness, the honesty, the change in our fight for equality that was promised to us by our president? All I see is arrogance and deceit. All I see is a different kind of disaffection shrouded in the words of a salesman trying to offer us a different kind of utopia that contradicts all that was pledged.

George Washington proclaimed that this land gives no comfort to bigotry. All of our founding fathers had a clear understanding of the value of life, liberty and the conviction to change the course of history, not with lies but with honesty and integrity and a faith in the human spirit as given to us by God.

I don’t know about you but I feel betrayed and confused all at the same time. I feel betrayed because I had visions of a new chapter in the history of humanity designed to bring us together as never before and not separated with such a vengeance. I am confused because I never thought that I would live to see the beginnings of a new wave of hatred and suspicion.

I believe, as Herman Wouk so eloquently wrote: “As for me, I declare my faith that our history is not meaningless, and that nihilism is a hallucination of sick men. God lives and we are His people, chosen to live by His name, and His law until one day when the Lord will be one and His name one.”

Science And Religion:The Debate Continues

2009-06-24T16:34:00.000-07:00

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

“Science without religion is lame; religion without science is blind.”
Albert Einstein

I was thinking of this expression of faith and exploration when viewing the movie “Angels and Demons.” Putting side the fictional aspect of the movie, and not attempting to be a film critic, I found the message both stimulating and provocative. It illustrates the conflict between faith and understanding.

History is replete with visions of what is right and wrong and how we fit into the concept of good and evil. We are constantly questioning the very existence of God as we witness all kinds of horror both natural and unnatural. The world, we are told, is a ticking time bomb waiting for the ultimate explosion which will send us all to oblivion. And we are left to wonder about our mortality and the next phase in our journey of life.

We are caught up in the quagmire of guilt and superstition because when we don’t understand something our minds begin to imagine all sorts of things that, if you really think about, have no basis in reality. I guess in a way this could be called faith. But I rather think that faith is not some mystical adventure, some unimaginable ride to a destination no one has returned from or is in a hurry to venture to. Rather faith is the expression of longing for answers to complex situations to help us deal with just everyday living without worrying about the “next place.”

Science, on the other hand, is the fulfillment of that expression, that desire to make sense of all that we know and don’t know. Creation is described in terms that boggle the mind because we can’t, and never will, truly understand the Divine. The outline given us is a description of the results not the method. That is where science and religion come together.

Religion is the blueprint of everything we are and have and science is the means that was used to complete the task of bringing us to this point in time. Both are complementary, not in opposition of each other. One explains the purpose and the reasoning for our existence and the other contributes to the knowledge of how that was brought about.

Perhaps this is too simplified. But if you think about it you surely will understand that you can’t complete the work or even continue it without a road map, or plan. The design is there to bring the creation to life and even improve upon it as we search for answers to make life as enhancing as possible.

I watched with amazement at the conflict that religion has with science because it was made very clear that zealousness is dangerous. Open minds are required to absorb the knowledge brought about by the foundation that was created in the original document, the original plans for the universe and all that we are amazed to see continually as we gaze into the sky or reach out our hand to touch another. God didn’t promote connection with the intention of separation. That we were formed in the image of God is an indication that we are all different as is God. Each of us has the ability to reason and think and use this to partner with God in the ever continuing saga called life.

We reach for the stars because we must know that keeping our feet firmly planted on the ground will get us no where. We search for the impossible because we comprehend that progress comes form experimentation. We dream in order to make life more real through imagination.

Science and religion gives us both: The ability to dream and the talent to enhance that dream through knowledge and perception. Can we truly believe that the two are incompatible? Some of the greatest minds in the world were filled with faith in reasoning and the power to overcome mistrust to reach that ever present moment of truth and belief.

Only closed minds, as depicted in the movie, prevents us from reaching for the moon and even beyond. Only closed minds will destroy that which we are building and continue to build as each generation moves forward in its quest for that ultimate connection between God and science.

“Science without religion is lame; religion without science is blind.” Why? Because they bring the two elements of life together: Faith and reasoning. Instead of looking for ways to continue the separation we should be trying to determine how we can bring them closer together. We must have faith that our reasoning will complete the process of creation. Only then will we get to that place in time which was originally designed in the master plan and completed by our rationality.

Turn Fright Into Fight

2009-06-01T08:36:00.000-07:00

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

“The nations of the world are so preoccupied with their anxieties and ambitions that they do not realize that the very foundation of civilized life is being undermined.”
Rabbi Mordecai Kaplan

Everything seems so mundane given the experiences of the last year: Death, destruction, hysteria, bravery, patriotism and financial ruin.

There seems to be no one who is able to stand up and offer words of consolation and encouragement to a nation, a family, a person. There is only faith which has been encouraged by the bravery and patriotism of a few.

Faith has sustained us in all sorts of ordeals. Faith is the underlying ability to cope with adversity. Faith allows us to understand without asking why. Faith helps us realize that there is good and there is evil. It is up to us to determine which will prevail.

“Be of strong heart…” the Prophets tell us. Be of strong heart for our own sake and for the sake of all that was needlessly sacrificed. Sometimes we find it difficult to understand everything that is happening so our faith is put to the test. Sometimes we can’t imagine a world so corrupt that our faith is shaken to the core. Sometimes we see death on such a large scale and hatred seething from the mouths of people we thought to be innocent that our faith is driven into hiding.

In our lifetime we have seen the lack of humanity so unimaginable that we shudder to even believe it was possible. The world seems so polarized that we can’t see the light because of all the darkness and somewhere in that darkness is our faith which we fear will never surface.

Our lives are so fragile and so short. I recently began cleaning out old files and old pictures and my life seemed to flash right before me. Where has the time gone? What has happened to all the dreams? People are no longer here that once graced our lives. The ranks are thinning and with it all the laughter and tears of the generations.

Reality stepped back in and I realized that that was then and this is now. But have things really changed? We have aged but the world seems to be in a standstill because the same threats and hurts and disappointments are there. The only difference is that the date has changed. No wonder we lack the spirit, the spark, and the flame of faith that carried us to this moment in time.

Civilization is being undermined by a new order of extinction. Once we faced an enemy and we knew who they were and how to fight to win. Once we rallied around the concept of survival that included all of humanity. Now we don’t know what is happening to us. We look around and we see greed and despair and killing on such a level that it appears that there really is no hope, no expectation of renewal.

And perhaps there are no words other than the silent words found in our hearts and minds that try to make sense of that which is senseless. We need the words found in our souls to emerge to free us from the fear of the past and give us the resoluteness to confront this evil. And those words, as they emerge, should encourage us to act as one to overcome this madness. No imaginary wish of understanding when there is no one to reason with. No extending of a hand of friendship to be grasped by the clutches of madness.

How short our memory: Appeasement in any form encourages insanity. You cannot reason with barbarity or dine with animals. You cannot put a face of decency on those determined to undermine the very fabric of human connectiveness. And yet to not attempt to civilize the uncivilized would be to destroy the very essence of our collective needs.

Mordecai Kaplan understood years ago that civilization would be undermined by concern only for the few with no care for the many. He tried to explain that parochialism is not the road to salvation but a sure path to undermining the very principle of endurance.

The lesson is so simple it escapes us: If we remain hostages to fright we will, in the end, destroy ourselves. If we lose our resolve to remove the “r” and fight then we will have relinquished our obligation to ourselves and to God who gave us the ability to survive the ordeals of every day living with a one syllable word: Faith.

"For Everything There Is A Season...."

2009-05-14T16:57:00.000-07:00

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

“..a time for every experience under Heaven” (Ecclesiastes). King Solomon exhorts the remembrance of all the frailties of life and in the same breath explains the wonders of fulfillment.

We are at the crossroads of celebrating both completion and continuity. This is a time for learning and realizing the inescapable truth that our future is connected to our past. We commemorate the re-unification of Jerusalem that occurred June 6, 1967 (5 Iyar, 5727). At the same time we rejoice in learning as we stand at the foot of the Mountain and listen to words that have echoed throughout history – Shavuot.

The Ahad HaAm wrote that learning-learning-learning: That is the secret of Jewish survival. When the Romans were destroying Jerusalem and the Temple, the one thing that was asked was that a school of learning be established because it was understood that while the center of Jewish life was in flames, the flame of Jewish survival rested with the continuation of knowledge. That is Shavuot.

And after 2,000 years we have learned that patience and fortitude and petitions allowed us to return to the eternal capital of Israel and we, the eternal people of Israel were once more fastened to the dreams of centuries.

Judah Halevi wrote an essay titled “City of the World” in which he describes the feelings of the generations:

“Oh city of the world, most chastely fair,
In the far west, behold, I sigh for thee...
Oh, had I eagles’ wings I’d fly to thee,
And with my falling tears make moist thine earth…
Oh, that I might embrace thy dust, the sod
Were sweet as honey to my fond desire.”

There are no other people on the face of the Earth who have had and continues to have such a connection to a place. More than that, there is an emotion that transcends time and space and understanding. That is Jerusalem.

And it is no accident that the holiday of Shavuot coincides with this miracle of the ages. It is no accident because we took with us the trappings of Jewish existence and ensured that our survival would be complete.

Shavuot is a time of learning because it is at that precise time in our history that we learned the true meaning of life and developed a sense of understanding of our place in the unending search for connection.

There is a poem written by Ibn Ezra:

“In the mirror of thought,
By the light of his mind,
The wise man perceives all about him
His Creator’s glory.
In his own body-
In the four elements of its substance,
In the design of its structure,
In the concord and symmetry of
its parts –
He beholds God.

Each place we found ourselves we established schools because knowledge is the foundation of moral relationships. We stay up all night on Shavuot to emphasis the grandeur of the written and spoken word. It is through the process of education that we can fully comprehend the moments of truth.

“For everything there is a season, a time for every experience under Heaven.” This is the season of reason and salvation. This is the time to rejoice in the gift of verbal intercourse and the place where the Word took shape and was permeated throughout civilization.

This is Shavuot and Yom Yerushalayim. We have seen this day, the day that God speaks to all of us. This is the day of His word and His place.

Parents

2009-04-29T11:46:00.000-07:00

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

Maimonides wrote: “If the mind of a person’s mother or father becomes diminished or injured, the child should do whatever he can to respond to the demands of the affected parent until God exercises His mercy.
Nevertheless, if the parent’s situation grows even more difficult and the child can no longer bear the burden, the child may leave and assign others to give his parents the concern and rightful proper care.”

Numerous times I witness the guilt that affects all who see their parents fade as their cycle of life nears its end. Have they done enough; have they said enough to really matter. The pain of seeing a parent enter the darkness of diminished ability is more than some can bear. We feel powerless.

Many things run through our minds as we stand by waiting for the inevitable. It has been said that at the time of death a person’s whole life flashes before him. I believe that this is also true for those who watch a parent reach the end of the journey that encompassed love and caring and sharing and even some disappointments.

Our minds start to wander and begin reflecting on childhood dreams and grown-up anticipations. We remember our first bicycle and how Dad taught us how to ride. We recall the first date, the first prom, the first of many things that were part of our growing up. We fondly recollect Mom sitting with us reading to us and helping us take that first step into adulthood.

And then we look down at this frail person whose white hair reminds us of ageless encounters. The skin shows the wear and tear of the times spent worrying about our success. The smile is now strained because the years seemed to have taken their toll and smiling is now a chore more than a joy.

What can we do? What should we do? We now have families who need our attention. We want to reach out and be there for the one’s who gave us life and are now reaching the ebb. Our minds wander and the torment is great because parents deserve all we can do because of all they did. And honoring our parents, the Talmud teaches, is as though God is in our midst and we are honoring Him.

Then I am reminded of what Maimonides wrote centuries ago that it is our responsibility to give dignity at the end but we are also obligated to ensure that the care and concern may be shared with others so that proper vigilance will relieve our worry.

I visit patients and families in situations that require the utmost tenderness. Most often the call I receive involves hospice visits. It is not enough to say that it is God’s hands. It is not enough to offer consolation. Most often I am asked why – why did this happen to my parent? And I encourage everyone to concentrate on the real question – How? How can we come together to relieve the burden, to lighten the load and to ease the pain? Life is a journey and that journey includes great memories but also sad occasions. We start on that journey with birth and we witness all the happenings of life until the time comes for the journey to end. Our responsibility is to eliminate the guilt and focus on the beauty of life and all its rewards and defeats.

Sometimes to accomplish this we must share the responsibility with others because we no longer have the ability to cope and bear that burden alone. God gave us the capacity to reach out and touch a hand or wipe a tear and offer words of endearment. God created us to be connected to one another and that encompasses the bad times as well as the good.

So, no regrets, no guilt, just the understanding that we did the best we could and we were not ashamed or embarrassed to accept a helping hand. And when the end finally arrives we will mourn but we will have memories and those memories will guarantee eternal life. For remembrance is the secret ingredient of immortality.

We can no longer caress or embrace because now it is God’s turn as He brings them to his bosom and takes charge of their journey through eternity.

A Moment In Time

2009-04-20T16:25:00.000-07:00

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

Many of us have seen movies or heard stories or read books about the Holocaust. And most of us received some message or meaning from the experience. But through all the telling there is one theme that is the common denominator: Survival. It contributes to the baseness in all of us. It is a powerful and natural impulse. We kill because of it and we scratch survival out of any hopeful sign. It brings out the worst in us as well as the best in us.

All Holocaust depictions have that unmistakable message. Whether it be Schindler’s list or Sophie’s Choice, or more recent films like The Reader or the newest one, Defiance, we see man’s inhumanity to man and we smell the stench of hatred and despair.

So much has been written about the Holocaust. And yet, truth be told, not enough can be written or said or pictured to allow us to fully comprehend the enormity of the dehumanization of people, the degradation of the human spirit.

And we all bear witness to the fact that truth cannot be substituted by madness. Only complacency can hide the truth from us. Even those among us today, who declare that the Holocaust is a figment of someone’s imagination, will one day understand that truth may be manipulated but only because of the willingness of the family of man. Truth is the one weave in the fabric of humanity that is eternal as is the message we bring to keep the memory alive.

We are left to not only be witnesses but also to try to make sense of it all. The survivors of this unimaginable dehumanization of spirit and flesh are the true observers of the two faces of society; the dark side, which never sees light and the light side which hides from the darkness.

We are also left to remember because that is a holy mission. To remember is part of the understanding of the tragic episode it represents. There is no one answer as there is no one explanation that would allow us to have closure.

All too often we hear, “Haven’t we seen enough?” “Haven’t we cried enough?” “Haven’t we repented enough for not lifting our voices and shouting to the world that we are suffering and if we suffer all of humanity suffers with us?” “How many times are we going to be shown the horrors?”

Well, the chapter will never be closed for that would certainly desecrate the memory of those who have no one to say prayers or light candles of tell tales of their lives. Scribbled on a piece of paper one of the lost souls wrote: “I should like someone to remember that there once lived a person named David Berger.” We must never let this chapter end because of all the David Berger’s who are nameless and faceless. We will never finish the story because, in truth, it has no ending. The struggles of life and the tortures of memory will never complete the tragic retelling of the souls that are weeping because they are afraid we will forget them.

The ranks of those who suffered and those who were liberators are thinning. Soon only memory will be the torch that is carried to the next generation. And we cannot allow this chapter to be minimalized or trivialized because then it just becomes a moment in time.

The smoke is still shifting with the wind and it carries the vestige of a generation who were consumed by hate and indifference. We must remember their sacrifice and just as we have survived so to their memories shall remain with us forever. And each time we watch a film, or tell a story of someone we never knew who was lost, or try to imagine the million children who looked at us in disbelief – each time we remember we resurrect a soul, which symbolizes the re-birth of values and benevolence and blessing.

So remember – remember the depths to which we may sink – for survival. For after all – we cry because so many were lost and we stammer to find the words of understanding. We pledge that this will never be just a moment in time.

Now the lifeless skulls add up to millions.
The stars are going out around you.
The memory of you is dimming; your life will soon be over.
Jewish seed and flowers are embers.
The dew cries in the dead grass.
The Jewish dream and reality are ravished,
They die together.
Your witnesses are sleeping:
Infants, women, young men, old.
All have fallen into a dead and everlasting peace.
(Union Prayer Book-The Days of Awe)

Seven Principles of Faith

2009-04-05T14:07:00.000-07:00

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

I read a funny story: A lifelong backslider suddenly “saw the light” and approached the local rabbi.

“Rabbi, from now on I will attend synagogue services regularly,” he promised.

“I’m glad to hear that,” smiled the wise old rabbi, “but remember – going to synagogue doesn’t make you a Jew any more than going to a poultry farm makes you a chicken!”

I thought of this joke when I read a letter to the editor in Moment magazine, March/April, 2009 issue. The writer was responding to an article written by Eric Alterman, “What do non-Orthodox Jews believe?” (“The Secular Spirit of Judaism,” January/February 2009)

She proceeds to illustrate her “Principles of Faith” accordingly:

1. Kindness and courtesy are more important than kashruth.
2. Caring for human needs is more important than being frum.
3. Being part a part of a Jewish community and attending services Friday night and Torah study on Saturday are more important than not traveling on the Sabbath.
4. Wearing a sheitel does not make you pious and using Tefillin does not keep you honorable.
5. Mikvot, like Christian Baptism, cannot alone bring spiritual cleanliness.
6. Watch what you say rather than what you eat.
7. Dress with normal modesty rather than with elaborate cultural elements.

In conclusion, she writes, “In short, I choose to be a Jew and believe my creator will know my heart from my deeds rather than from my diet or dress.”

I must confess that part of me wants to applaud this woman for her ability to clarify in her mind the essence of connectivity and completeness in being a person of faith. And there is a part of me that wants to suggest that while some of these trappings are not in themselves the answer to the true understanding of life they are designed to help us create a life of faith.

Trappings were designed to remind us of our obligation to accomplish the ultimate in human relationships. Some of these traditions and customs were put in place to assist us in completing our partnership with the creator. Many of the obligations outlined in the Torah and explained in the Midrash and Talmud were established to enable us to concentrate on our heritage and fulfillment as Jews.

However, sometimes we get trapped by the “trappings” to the extent that they become the end all to our religious experience. We, at times, are more concerned with outward appearance than inward feelings of compassion. And for some the outward appearance is an identifying moment and not a means to establish true brotherhood and fellowship.

The Ba’al Shem Tov, the founder of the Hassidic movement, once wrote that the Talmud informs us that Moses was given the key to forty-nine doors out of fifty. And, of course, the question is asked that since we human beings always want to know more and more, how was it possible for Moses to pass through the fiftieth door?

He continues his story indicating that we wonder what happened when Moses came to fiftieth door and found it locked to the mind of man. And we learn that Moses replaced understanding with faith and began his meditation over again.

The lesson the Ba’al Shem Tov taught was that every one of us should train our minds. We should learn and reflect to the best of our capacity, but when we reach a point where we are unable to make sense of life, we should supplant faith for understanding and reflect again on what we do know.

I can think of no better way to comprehend the meaning of life, our obligations to one another and our responsibility to faith. Perhaps that is what this woman was trying to impart.

Faith has many doors. It is up to us to approach these doors with the hope that behind them are answers we may not understand but we need to learn to be able to perceive the meaning of faith.. Perhaps what she was saying is that to get to the other side of the door does not require a code of dress or a closed mind or rituals that have no significance if they are not accompanied by true intent.

Even our Prophets explained that on Yom Kippur all the fasting in the world will not mean anything if it is not connected to honesty of purpose. God doesn’t need our prayers or our rituals unless it is combined with concern for the dignity of the human spirit and the response to those in need of Tikun Olam, the repair in the tear of human suffering.

Seven principles of faith. They do not supplant anything. They help us realize who we are and our purpose as part of creation.

Let's Not Prejudge-but! Chapter 2

2009-03-16T10:06:00.000-07:00

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

Previously I had written about my concerns regarding the attempt by the then president-elect to reach out to the American Muslim community in particular and the Muslim world in general. I prefaced my remarks by stating that I am not in favor of mixing religion and politics but there are times when faith should be the guide by which we live and a means by which we treat each other with respect because we are all God’s children, not black or white, Jew or Gentile or Muslim.

Now that concern has been elevated to fright. There is no rampant anti-Semitism but there is a feeling in the left wing liberal community that we owe an apology to the Muslim world for all the so called missteps made by America. Our president has gone so far as to determine that we need to “restore” the same respect and partnership that America had with the Muslim world as recently as 20 or 30 years ago.( excerpted from an article written by the renowned columnist Charles Krauthammer).

I would encourage everyone to read his column titled “Overture to Muslims by Obama slights U.S.” It lays out in detail the responsibility borne by this country to save and even salvage many of these countries under the Muslim banner. Have we forgotten the saving of Kuwait when all the other Arab and Muslim countries did not or would not or could not take care of their own? Saudi Arabia which receives billions of dollars of military hardware cannot muster the will or the ability to defend itself let alone a neighbor.

President Obama should rightfully acknowledge his heritage but not at the expense of the country he took an oath to defend and protect. Extending a hand and expecting, as he so masterfully described, an unclenched fist is a noble idea. But extending the hand of this country, that experienced the devastation of 2001, without the respect for our integrity and rightful place in the world as the leader in human rights, is outrageous to say the least.

The president of Israel is insulted at a gathering of world leaders by the delegate from Turkey, a Muslim country with whom Israel has had the most cordial relations appears to be an attempt by the Muslim world to not only insult a sovereign country but to denigrate the concept of world unity as espoused by the president of the United States and may even be motivated by his outreach efforts.

The world is in turmoil. People are starving and homeless. There is hopelessness everywhere. No jobs. No health insurance. No confidence in the future. Most of the people responsible for this chaos are still in charge and get bail-outs while the struggling masses remain at their mercy. The auto industry full of arrogance begs for help while the oil companies rake in billions. Why can’t the oil companies redeem the auto industry?

And yet with all we are going through we still need to find a scapegoat-someone to blame for our misery. We bend the truth to fit the tragedies. I would not be surprised to one day wake up and find that Israel is behind tornadoes and hurricanes and earthquakes. It is amazing that with all that we have been experiencing we still find the time to blame all the ills on Israel for not giving back land it inherited from barbarians who knocked on the door of annihilation and found an answer they will never forget.

Sometimes I wonder of Meir Kahane was not right: That the answer to this continuing bad dream is total and permanent separation. If someone hates you so much and will never turn the other cheek then perhaps it is an impossible dream. And all the wishing and attempts at reconciliation are useless.

All the George Mitchells and Hillary Clintons and Barack Obamas will never change reality they will only perpetuate the myth. Some people are not meant to be connected. Some people need to have distance in order to survive. We see it in everyday relationships. People marry but also divorce. Families celebrate milestones but also have detractors. Countries may have common goals but they are still separated by borders.

Over the centuries wars have been fought to connect one to the other only to discover that differences make for critics and then unity is replaced by detachment. Caesar, Alexander, Napoleon, the list is endless. All saw their responsibility to bring oneness out of many become disastrous and fatal. We are different and yet we are the same. Human beings have struggled with this issue from time immemorial. Even God understood as He created man and woman. Both different but dependent on one another.

Creation was not intended for one kind of this or one kind of that. Look all around – there are different animals, different species of vegetation, different climates, different DNA. And that is the ultimate truth in separation.

If I were to write a letter to the president of the United States it would flatly state that the lessons of history are still fresh in our minds. Appeasement is an invitation for disaster. We need to learn to live together while not forgetting our differences. The open hand is an invitation not a declaration. Clenched fists need to be neutralized so that they do not strike a blow that begets another blow. Learn to accept separation as a way of life not a testament to failure. Send you envoys to affect peace by fulfilling the wishes of the parties involved.

If I were to write a letter to the president of the United States I would encourage dialogue but with the understanding that talk alone is not the panacea to completion of a dream. Every country on the face of the Earth has aspirations and not all of them fit neatly into our understanding of life and liberty. Sanctimony is not a method of encouragement. You were not elected because you are different but because you shared a vision and that vision gave us hope. Be proud of your heritage but remember that this pride gave you the courage to achieve the dream of so many. You reached the mountain top and you were able to see the future. Never forget that you arrived on the backs of many who died and sacrificed for that dream to become reality.

Yes, I am frightened. Yes, I am concerned for our people. Yes, I understand that we cannot allow the past to just become a moment in time because that would dishonor the tragedies.

So I pray each and every day that the vision of God to allow us the opportunity to become one with Him will see the light of day in our time. We are a resilient people. We are survivors. We are here because our dream of freedom became fact not fiction. We will be here long after those who torture and maim and distort will be gone. That is the one truth everyone can rely upon.

BM

2009-03-09T17:05:00.000-07:00

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

“He may be called a man who restrains his desire to do evil.” Zohar

Time and again events take place that make us wonder about the goodness of people. We have witnessed over the last several years the ugly face of greed and its affect on society. There was a time when morals and ethics were ingredients in the formula of human success. We are believers in good winning over evil; that light will defeat darkness so that all will know peace and contentment because of the efforts of work and honesty in that work.

Then we read about corruption on such a large scale that we begin to wonder about the goodness and mercy that is part of humanities makeup. Our very beings are threatened because we see no appreciation for Godliness. We seemed to have sunk into an abyss robbing us of life’s meaning- and it is dark and lonely. It is an empty space that has no ending – a black hole that drags even the greatest among us into its center.

It is difficult to judge people because each of us has some dark secret. And when that secret sees the light of day there is no telling what will be the result of that revelation. We are laid bare and vulnerable to possible embarrassment and disgrace. And we are concerned about what others may think of us but give no thought to Gods knowledge of our misdeeds. Perhaps if we thought more about our being answerable to God we would fulfill the essence of the Zohar

When studying the Talmud we learn about “Patur B’Dinei Adom and Hayav B’Dinei Shamayim.” The lessons learned indicate that there are times when we do things that may be considered excusable by man but are deemed inexcusable by God. And the converse, of course, is true as well.

So, while we try not to judge we are taught that to have an effective society there must be judgments as well as reward and punishment. That is the sum total of a disciplined culture.

I am at a loss as to how to react to recent events which have dishonored our people and our God. I am at a loss as to how to display compassion while feeling the hurt of so many who were the victims of such gluttony. “Do justly” Micah commands because it is part of the duty of human beings to walk the path of humility and understanding. What is justice in this instance?

BM (I can’t get myself to write his name), cast a dark shadow on our people. Those who would do us harm have been given a weapon much more deadly than the sword. We are a people known for our veracity. We are a people known as deliverers of the “Word” and keepers of the “Promise.” And now we are a people, who by association, seem to be no better than the worst among us and maybe even more so.

The great Kabbalist, Moses Luzzatto was quoted as saying: “A person who walks his path in life without regard to ethical standards is like a blind man who does not know his journey is along the bank of a river.

The person can at any moment succumb to the dangers of a wrong step and the odds are more certainly toward his being hurt than escaping harm.”

We have now witnessed the unthinkable. We cannot escape the harm that is with us. And like the blind man who does not know his journey is dangerous because of indifference, we too have been led on a journey that will give us anxiousness and despair and unhappiness for a long time to come.

BM – they are initials that will haunt us. He certainly will be judged but perhaps “Hayav B’Dinei Shamayim” will be the ultimate judgment.

Ho Do I Love Thee

2009-02-04T09:58:00.000-08:00

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

With this question Elizabeth Barrett Browning begins her poem of affection and devotion.. It is a beautiful poem filled with an enduring feeling of love and an abiding hope for an eternal liaison.

I think of this poem each year as Spring approaches. I think about brides and grooms feeling this message of endearment and passion. And I guess it is best described as I continue reading the poem: “I love thee with the breath, smiles, tears of all my life.”

We wonder what is expected of us as we begin a life together. How do we get close to a thought, an idea of what this time really means? We will learn that forgiveness, mercy and humility will eventually enable us to be one. But the reality is that we can only imagine these things. We will, in time, understand the secrets involved in a relationship that will survive for eternity.

And how does our understanding of God fit into all of this? We try to discern that something, someone, is responsible for all that we see before us – a baby, a tree, a life of dreams. There are bad things as well for we know that the next chapter in the journey of life we are embarking upon is not always what dreams are made of.

So here we are at the Springtime of our lives. It is a beautiful time. There are holidays such as Passover and Easter, both designed to help us understand the message of renewal. And that is exactly what we will endeavor to accomplish as we renew our lives with a commitment of oneness.

Birth is our beginning. And our concentration should be on the span of time called life because that is the journey we embark upon as we wish for better tomorrows. The thrills of life can be found in that experience and we should not dwell on anything else. Life is to live and we should include in our promise of love the pledge to enjoy life as it was intended – with each other and family and friends.

The poet continues: “I love thee with all the passion put to use in my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith.” The message is quite simple: We need to be thankful for all the tomorrows as we remember the past.

It doesn’t matter whether we understand the meaning of God. We all have different ideas. But we also know that God is faith and hope and strength and calm. These feelings are the same feelings we bring to each other as we begin that journey, that new journey into unchartered waters. And we feel safe because we know that God is there to help and guide and even cheer as we discover each other and the world around us.

How do I love thee is a message of forgiveness because none of us is perfect. It encourages us to pardon each other for human failings. It allows us to excuse our shortcomings because sometimes we forget our pledge to each other.

Spring is in the air and with it a feeling of anticipation. It is a time of preparation. And as the Prophets declared: “It is an opportunity to gain strength so that we will be like a garden wealthy with water, a spring of water, whose waters will not fail.” That is the true essence of love and togetherness and growth as a couple.

2009-02-04T09:53:00.001-08:00

Let's Not Prejudge-But!

2009-01-08T07:07:00.000-08:00

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

I have refrained from getting involved in politics because I believe that the pulpit and politics do not mix. I am dead set against a bully pulpit as it detracts from the moral aspect of religious life and brings it to a level that prohibits objectivity.

The Prophets of old felt it important to admonish leaders about their societal obligations. And it was very difficult for them to separate religious fervor with governance because they felt that they complemented each other. They argued that you can’t have effective laws without some moral attachment.

But that was a different time and the circumstances surely were different. The Prophets dealt with co-religionists and therefore believed that stewardship and moral imperatives were connected and inseparable.

Having said all that, I still feel that religion and politics do not belong in bed together. We can and should be guided by our convictions but they should never color our attitude toward diversity. And politics require objectivity.

We now have a new president. The election has certainly delivered a strong message of diversity. But I am concerned about recent statements coming from the president-elect indicating a desire and more than that a commitment to establishing close ties to Muslim countries in general and individual Muslims in particular. Alarm bells are ringing in my ears.

I agree wholeheartedly that dialogue is essential for people to understand each other and develop a feeling of connectiveness. And I support the effort espoused. What troubles me is that I have seen efforts in the past that have attempted to open doors but eventually became venues for hatred and vilification. Sometimes people feel that to receive acceptance they must claim it off the backs of other minorities.

We have witnessed scapegoating in our time. Consider the beginning of the civil rights movement. Jews were in the forefront of the liberation and dignity of African Americans. Some of our people lost their lives fighting for the rights of all people as so eloquently described in our Declaration of Independence: “We hold these truths to be self evident…..” The first time in the history of mankind a document outlined the right of peace, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

The early civil rights movement identified with the Exodus as described in the Book of Exodus. It associated its subjugation to that of the Hebrews and expressed their feelings of fulfillment in the freedom march that lead the Israelites from bondage to redemption. A Negro Spiritual was written describing the connection – “Go Down Moses” was a clarion call for all oppressed people. And we were overjoyed in sharing this expression of deliverance.

As time went on the connection become diluted and eventually lost in the rush for acceptance. No longer was it acceptable to partner with other minorities because it was felt it diluted the message. And eventually this separation turned into hatred.

Such a waste and what a shame that to become free meant that others needed to be abandoned. No longer was it fashionable to associate with others who shared the feeling of bigotry and humiliation.

So as I witness the transition taking place in our country I sit back and wonder if the time is approaching when a new wave of distrust and hate is on the horizon. Will it become necessary to climb once more on the backs of the oppressed to gain acceptance and recognition? Is accommodation a euphemism for a new form of bigotry?

This country, our country, has gone through many changes during its two hundred thirty three years of existence as a haven for freedom and justice. But even during the worst of times we never lost our sense of right and wrong. As a nation we have witnessed unimaginable horrors not only on distant shores but right here in our beloved country. We have sacrificed life and limb and resources to ensure that people everywhere can come here and feel the freshness of liberty.

I pray that all who call America their home will dwell in safety and enjoy the fruit of their labors in goodwill and brotherhood. I pray that our nation will be led in safety through the raging storm into the path of peace and security. I pray that evil will be abolished in our time for the sake of all humanity.

Yes, politics and religion don’t mix but there comes a time when faith should and could be the guide by which we live and a means by which we treat each other with respect because we are all God’s children, not black or white, Jew, Christian or Muslim. We all pray to one God – let Him answer us with one voice.

This Time Is The Last Time

2008-12-28T20:00:00.000-08:00

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

I am a fan of films that were produced during the “Golden Age” of movies. Somehow they ring with sentiment, innocence and deliver a message that resonates to today.

One such film was “This is the army.” The songs and lyrics were written by Irving Berlin, probably the most patriotic song writer of his time. Even today we sing God Bless America during good times as well as bad. His fervor for the message of freedom represented by a country called America is legendary. One other song writer comes to mind, George M. Cohan – but Irving Berlin, to me epitomizes the struggle and yearning of a displaced people to breathe freedom and contribute their very beings to this dream that became reality.

Watching the movie gave me goose bumps as I listened to the songs and the clear message that “This time would be the last time.” Twenty five years earlier we marched across Europe proclaiming the end of all war and here we were, once more, sacrificing lives, resources and limbs to make sure that this, indeed, was the last time we would have to send our youth into harms way. It was a noble thought and a just expression of the goodness that was America.

Norman Cousins once wrote that patriotism begins with human allegiance. And that in essence was what we believed as we sailed across the seas to distant places, familiar to some, but strange to most. It was a time of enthusiasm and loyalty to country that we have not seen since.

We have been in many struggles in our history as a nation, but none seemed to generate the collective patriotism as the big war – the war fought by the “greatest generation.” And it was known by the principles of decency and fairness and togetherness that made us a nation of one voice and one mind. Youngsters collected nickels and dimes to purchase war bonds giving our leaders the ability to champion the cause of all humanity. We collected fat, rubber and anything that could be melted down to afford our soldiers, sailors and marines the ability to finish what we never started but were forced to participate in. And we did all this not for our sake alone, but for “the wretched refuse” who came to our shores for safety. We accepted the “homeless, tempest-tossed” who sailed into New York Harbor and dreamed the dream of the ages.

Sixteen million men and women were called to service and they, in large part, went with a feeling of righting the wrongs that existed in the world. Many died and many were wounded beyond repair. And we welcomed them home with the dignity they deserved because we were a giving people.

Never in the history of this country have we seen such devotion since that time of hoping and longing. Never have we shown our gratitude for those who sacrificed so much for us.

There was Korea that followed the “last time” and then Viet Nam and Somalia and Grenada and the Gulf war and the Iraq war. And there were and still are conflicts all around this globe that brings us the realization that man wasn’t destined to be peaceful. We seem to be drawn to killing as though it were some initiation into manhood. The world has not learned anything from the past. I don’t remember who said that if we don’t learn from history we are doomed to repeat it but it is one of the truths that ring throughout the annals of time.

Chaim Weizman wrote that the Messianic hope is a hope which a nation cannot forget without ceasing to be a nation. A time will come when there will be neither enemies nor frontiers, when war shall be no more, and men will be secure in the dignity of speech. I cannot help but wonder whether that is truly a dream or a sincere wish. I believe that he speaks for all of mankind because we need the assurance that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and that fear will be a memory.

What will it take for everyone to realize that “this time is the last time” refers to an age of enlightenment followed by a commitment to further the essence of our being which is the connection to one another and to God?

In The Word, I read a very significant story from Tanhuma:
If the man of learning participates in public affairs and serves as a judge or arbitrator, he establishes the land. But if he sits at home and says to himself, “What have the affairs of society to do with me? Why should I concern myself with the lawsuits of the people? Why should I trouble myself with their voices of protest? Let my soul dwell in peace!” – if he does this, he overthrows the world.

When Rabbi Ammi’s hour to die was at hand, his nephew saw him weeping bitterly. He said: “Uncle and Teacher, why do you weep? Is there any Torah that you have not learned and taught? Is there any form of kindness that you have not practiced? And above all else, you have never accepted a public office and you have kept yourself apart from sitting in judgment.”

The rabbi replied: “It is for this very reason that I weep. I was granted the ability to weigh justice between those who argue and I have not conducted myself according to my capability.”

We are embarking on a New Year. A year that is no different than the past one because we are still struggling to understand that greed and anger and hate must be subdued. But it can be a year in which we discern that religion should help our country to understand that our responsibilities to each other are the same responsibilities we should show to God.

Will we ever learn that this must be the last time because we are running out of time? Our nation faces many issues and perhaps that is why we chose to elect a fresh approach to our survival not only as a nation but a people who remain committed to the principal of human allegiance.

The Generations That Follow

2008-12-05T07:48:00.000-08:00

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

If there is anything sure in this life it is the continuation of the generations. The journey of life contains so many experiences, but the glue that gives life meaning is the knowledge that when we are gone there will be another to take our place. That has been, and continues to be the design of creation. The very first understanding of continuity is the blessing given by God to “be fruitful and multiply.” The act of procreation is instinctive in every living being. Some of us live to create and some die in the process. It is a marvel to behold, whether humans, animals or plants.

The Ten Commandments regard the acknowledgement of parents as a fundamental part of the wonderment of creation. The blending of lives to ensure the fulfillment of God’s plan enables us to understand that one plus one equals two and even three and four and more. And there are other sacred writings that teach about the love of parents for their children; and the love of the children is for their children and that is the personification of the journey of life that has no end.

The world we live in, which we inherited from past generations, is a marvelous place. It is filled with such amazing blessings. And the greatest of these blessings is the foundation established by joining together in a ritual of love and connection. When we look at our reflection in the eyes of our beloved we see ourselves as well because that makes the union complete.

I am always amazed at the loving attention we get from each other. It is a bond that is so strong that it is evidently a blessing from God who created each of us in His image and who was present at the creation of our love and who has prepared for us a perpetual and wondrous fabric of life.

And yet, it is that sacred moment, the moment of confessing love and devotion that helps us understand the newness of life as it unfolds to usher in a new chapter of existence together. The joys and sorrows that will be shared can and should teach us to grow together in understanding and devotion.

So a new year begins and perhaps with it a new episode in the journey we embark upon as we start to bind ourselves to a new found love, a new enthusiasm for the excitement of blending body and soul. There is intoxication: The glow of anticipation. There is fulfillment: The gratification of completing the search for true love.

The generations continue because life is never ending and we are part of the chain that embraces continuity. Our love will endure through the storms of everyday existence because we commit to the sanctity of companionship.

We too will bring life to future generations and that will guarantee that everything has meaning. We bring hopes and dreams and faith in each other which will ennoble all who witness and share this love as we begin a new year.

All of this comes to mind when I think about the season just around the corner. Hanukkah has become so significant but for the wrong reasons. The essence of the holiday is the understanding that love conquers all: The love of God and the faith of our fathers. There can be no brighter light emanating from the Menorah than the light of understanding and faithfulness.

Brides and grooms remind me of this each and every time I unite them in marriage. There is a glow that brightens the path to completion. I am especially reminded of such radiance because the glow from the Menorah represents the glow of the hopes of humanity, the hopes of a couple just beginning the journey that will take them to strange places and even stranger occurrences.

The generations will follow as sure as love is in the air. Hanukkah helps us understand the true meaning of compassion and strength. Light not only represents awareness but it also enables us to find our way in the darkness that surrounds us. It doesn’t only matter that there was enough oil for one day or that it lasted for eight. It doesn’t only matter that a band of zealots overcame unimaginable odds to secure religious freedom for all. What does matter is that we remember and we tell the story, in whatever form, however we embellish it. What does really matter is that we are here to do just that and every faith on the face of the earth owes its existence to this insignificant feat that took place 2200 years ago.

That is continuity in its highest form and that is what love, the love of a bride and groom, represent to me as I watch the sparkle in an eye illuminate the whole world. What better blessing can we achieve this time of the year or any time of the year?

To Dedicate A Torah

2008-11-18T13:22:00.000-08:00

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

My congregation recently dedicated a new Torah and many thoughts ran through my mind during this commemoration. We all know that when a synagogue is formed the prominent aspect of its importance is the Torah. For without the Torah the building or location is just that – a building and location. Sometimes we lose sight of the significance and concentrate on the magnificent structure we call the synagogue.

And so I asked the question: “Why the celebration of a new Torah? Why do we revere this symbol of reverence and history? Why have so many perished in defense of its message?”

These are complex questions and I tried to answer them as simply as possible; as I understand the value of Torah in the life of the Jewish People.

First and foremost-Torah represents continuity. We cannot have a present or a future without experiencing a past. We cannot imagine who we are if we don’t know where we came from. We cannot truly relate to the meaning of life without regard to our origin.

Then there is heritage-Torah gives us a sense of commitment. We cannot appreciate life if we don’t have an understanding of how we got here. We cannot refer to tradition if we don’t know what that tradition is.

Those are the things we cannot do. What about the things we can do and sometimes neglect? There are times we concentrate on the negative without really appreciating that these negatives all form a positive respect for law and justice and mercy and forgiveness and connection.

By revering Torah we are expressing our respect for the written word. We are acknowledging the importance of words in our relationship with one another and with God. We are displaying an admiration for learning because we understand that knowledge is the foundation in achieving our potential. After all, the world as we know it was formed with words-“And God said….”

So dedicating a Torah means the acceptance of maintaining those ties that we regard as Holy and insightful and revealing. Sometimes we take these concepts for granted and we lose sight of our responsibility of caring for the “Book.” We forget, at times, the importance of our journey from the introduction given to us by Abraham to the advent of the re-birth of the State of Israel.

Five thousand years of history have taught us that we are a people of survival. Empires and civilizations have vanished but the People of Israel lives. It is surely no accident. We are a people of resilience, a people who, even though we go through doubts and fears, can walk the walk and talk the talk of the sanctity of life and the sacrifices necessary to protect that life and even enhance it.
Unimaginable things have happened on this journey. We have witnessed pogroms, Diaspora, attempted annihilation, humiliation, genocide. And we have lived to see another day.

Imaginable things have happened to us as well. We have contributed to humankind more than any other people, not because we are better or smarter but because we trust in the goodness of the spirit and the freedom to express that goodness. We appreciate the beauty of life and are motivated to enhance that life and somehow make it better for all. Not just for us but for all of God’s children.

King David wrote is Psalm 30, at the dedication of the House of David: “….Thou didst turn for me my mourning into dancing; Thou didst loose my sackcloth, and gird me with gladness; So that my glory may sing praise to Thee, and not be silent; O Lord my God, I will give thanks unto Thee for ever.”

King David was trying to explain the insecurity of human existence. The afflictions we endure are outweighed by the favors shown us by God. “His anger is but for a moment, His favor is for a lifetime.”

Dedicating a Torah we are affirming our optimism that all can be right. Even God describes such optimism when after each day of creation He declares: “And it was good.”
Even though evil exists we need to believe that the goodness within us makes the actuality of evil more bearable. Our allegiance to dignity and mercy enable us to cope with all the bad that surrounds us. The Psalmist helps us understand that thou “weeping may tarry for the night, but joy cometh in the morning.” Hope is the special ingredient that allows us to reach for the brightness of tomorrow.

There is a celebration upon completing the reading of the Torah each year and it is followed by beginning again because as Solomon ibn Gabirol wrote: “People are only wise when they are searching for wisdom; when they feel they have achieved it completely, they are fools.” That is why we read over and over again the portions of the Torah. We gain new insight each and every time we read the same sentence or the same chapter.

People always marvel at our determination, our stick-to-itiveness and I politely tell them that we have endured because of two things: 1 - We can laugh at our adversity and misfortune. Because we understand that only through laughter can we maintain our sanity. 2 – We carry with us, wherever we go or are sent, the very “Book” that explains to us the value of life and the purpose for our being.

We dedicate a Torah because of all these things and more. Not all of us adhere to every thing that is written. Not all of us understand all that is written. But we know that the words are there. Some rejoice in its message. Some die for its content without ever knowing the true meaning of their sacrifice.

But we continue to dedicate Torahs and we know that without Torah we are not ensuring continuity and without Torah there is no Israel.

Thanksgiving

2008-11-14T09:33:00.000-08:00

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

In Midrash Rabbah it is written that Rabbi Aibo said: “When the Angels objected to the creation of man, God replied: ‘And of what use are all of the good things I have created unless people are there to enjoy them?’ “

Perhaps that is what Thanksgiving is all about. It is not only the good things that we realize for ourselves through the efforts of our labor, but also to understand that God gave us the ability to discover these treasures.

Thanksgiving enables us to comprehend the true meaning of life: To be thankful for all the harvests of our days. God is where God should be-in our hearts and minds, in our deeds and actions, in our relationships and understanding of each other.

Thanksgiving should help us realize that we are responsible for one another and that there can be no true jubilation without this moral standard. We are responsible to others for our actions and the consequences of those actions. We are responsible to God for those things that relate to our spiritual well-being. We are responsible to ourselves for purpose and meaning in our lives.

Our lives are so tenuous, our existence indeed fragile, and the gift of life so temporary that we should take the time to celebrate, rejoice, and give thanks. “And of what use are all of the good things I have created unless people are there to enjoy them.” God tells us to marvel in His creation, to take advantage of the very essence of life’s wonderment. The very act of creation was and is the gift of a lifetime.

We have so much to be grateful for. We get up each morning and see all that is before us. We watch a bird fly and are astounded that it can soar into the unknown. We walk on the grass and are amazed that as seasons change so does nature. Children teach us about the cycle of time: They crawl, they walk, the make sounds, they talk, they grow and eventually wither and then we witness birth all over again. We lose a loved one but are comforted with the wonder of eternalness.

Thanksgiving is also a time to be thankful for our country and all that it represents to us and the world around us. America represents all that is good in the human spirit. We are a people devoted to the exploration of the imagination. We treasure benevolence and practice it every waking moment. But we also know that we have failings because we are human, created in the image of God to be Godlike, but with fallibilities. We can offend, but we can also forgive; we at times are lonely but understand that love can erase that feeling of emptiness; we can be foolish but blend it with a modicum of discretion; we experience grief but temper it with understanding. We can be all these things and also realize that the journey of life is filled with all this and more because God invited us to participate in His gift of life - not the Angels, but us.

And Thanksgiving gives us the ability to be grateful for the men and women who serve this country with the same zeal of generations past. They serve on distant shores and here at home because they know that the price of liberty is vigilance and preparedness.

Families will gather together on this American holiday to feast on turkey, enjoy stories of yesterday’s celebrations and make wishes for the dreams of tomorrow. We will reflect and finally come to the realization that the insignificant things that drag us down are not important if we are to survive as a nation. And we should never forget how fortunate we are as Americans.

This is what Thanksgiving is all about: God gave us the wonderfulness of life, the magic of day and night, the capacity to hope for a brighter tomorrow. And He did all this, not for the Angels, but for us.

Duty, Honor and Country

2008-10-19T23:07:00.000-07:00

In Honor of Veterans Day

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

At precisely eleven AM on the eleventh day of the eleventh month, in the year 1918, the “war to end all wars” concluded. If the people who experienced the nightmare known as World War Two are referred to as the “Greatest Generation” then I submit to you that the wave of humanity fighting in the First World War should be referred to as the “Naïve Generation.”

There was no glory to speak of only the gory mess of millions dead and millions more maimed-their lives destroyed. And the only things that came out of that horrific episode in humanities quest to kill were seeds that involved us in the next encounter which then led to the cold war, which then led to Korea, which then led to Viet Nam, and to the last Gulf War that too ended poetically in the 100th day. Perhaps if the war had lasted 101 days we wouldn’t be there now. But that is a subject for another time. And, of course there were other wars that were also supposed to “end all wars.”

Wars have been with us since time immemorial. When we do not understand someone or don’t like the color of a person’s skin or the tone in a voice or thoughts spoken, we take up arms to destroy that which is different. But don’t forget that most wars are fought because of economics, the current one being no different.

We, as a people, know only too well what that means. We, as a people, have visited the shadow of death in pogroms, the Holocaust, discrimination in the work place, in schools, in the arts. And yet, we as a people, have contributed immeasurably to the betterment of society – the betterment of the human experience.

We recently celebrated the 350th anniversary of our arrival on these shores. It was not an easy journey. We arrived here from distant lands where we felt the wrath of indifference and contempt. We have been tested time and again but we have been true to each and every place we found ourselves and, in particular, to this country which afforded us the greatest comfort and protection – but not without cost.

We contributed to the revolution that gave birth to this great nation – a man named Hayim Solomon comes to mind – who gave his fortune to ensure the survival of the struggle for independence and freedom. There were Americans named Levy and Strauss and Einstein and Brandeis who contributed their efforts to guarantee the continuation of a dream called America.

Each generation has produced faithful and true guardians of democracy from the ranks of immigrants whose only hope was that they could live, as Isaiah said, under their fig tree and feel secure.

Each generation of American Jews answered the call because we knew as Jeremiah instructed us: “Seek the welfare of the land into which I have seen you carried in exile, and pray to the Lord on this land’s behalf; for in its welfare shall you find your welfare.”

And yes, we even took up arms to ensure this freedom and security for all the people of this great land – not just the rich – not only the poor – but everyone who lives in this beacon of hope. We were not born soldiers – we were farmers or tailors or musicians and laborers trying to earn a living to support our families and bring those less fortunate to be with us as we began a new life in a new land.

We became soldiers and airmen and sailors and marines – we fought and some of us died and some of us were injured beyond repair – but we came to the aid of our America. We stand here proud of our contribution to liberty and equality for all. We fought side by side with the Jones’ and Smiths’ – we cheered when they came home from battle as we thanked God for our survival as well. We danced in the streets when wars ended because we loved our liberty. Those who hated us never understood that.

So here we are – four score and ten years after the end of the “War to end all wars,” – not to commemorate a cemetery in honor the Civil War dead as President Abraham Lincoln declared in his famous Gettysburg address, but to pay tribute to all who served from the beginning of our history here in America to today where we see our young men and women sacrifice even more to ensure that the freedom our generation fought for will not be lost. That is the responsibility that each generation takes upon itself – to guarantee the future as we did before. Yes, it was four score and ten years ago that that dreadful encounter with hell ended. And it in memory of all wars that we continue the remembrance from Decoration Day to its new name – Veterans Day.

We pay tribute to all who served and all who continue to serve, and, in particular, all who sacrificed life and limb. May the dreams that brought us to this day not be lost and may those now in harms way find their way back in safety and may we never lose sight of the sacrifice for Duty, Honor and Country. It is not only the American way, it is the Jewish way.

Our Relationship With God:Core of Jewish Beliefs

2008-10-17T08:16:00.001-07:00

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

Maimonides begins his thirteen principles of faith with the declaration: “I believe with perfect faith………….” He then proceeds to detail this faith so that his life and those whom he influences will have a better grasp on what it means to be faithful. And these principles are filled with traditional expressions that have come down to us through the generations.

Since Talmudic times each generation has tried to interpret the meaning of life, the relationship with God as described in Scripture, so that it has relevance for their time and place. Humanities desire to communicate with God; to understand God’s commandments; to be one with God so to have a better insight into what Godliness is all about, that is the eternal quest.

There were the Pharisees, the Sadducees, the Essene’s, the Zealots and so on, all determined to convince their followers as well as others that their path was the right one; the only one to true allegiance to God. Our generation is no exception. We have Orthodox, Conservative, Reform, Reconstructionist, Humanistic and more. The fact that we are called Israel is no accident of fate. This name was given to us to remind us of the struggle involved in trying to comprehend the very notion of God. The only thing that makes us different from the past is the present.

Abraham challenges God when He determines to destroy Sodom and Gomorra. Moses argues with God to forgive and forget the transgressions of a people delivered from the yoke of the oppressor only to be saddled with the yoke of a slave mentality. The Hebrew Bible is filled with such discourse with God because we understand only to well that complete obedience inhibits freedom of choice.

Yes, we believe that there is a single God who not only created the universe, but with whom every person can have an individual and personal relationship. A God we sometimes doubt. A God we sometimes blame for all that is evil in the world. A God we question as to His very existence when we see pain and affliction. A God who is also compassionate and forgiving. And even as we believe we also have doubts, but those doubts should not deter us from searching for an answer to reinforce our belief or enhance our desire to make sense of it all.

We believe that God continues to work in the world, affecting everything that people do. This does not mean that everything is controlled by God, rather that everything was created for us and we have to find the resources created by God to make our existence more meaningful so that we will be able to continue the partnership of creation. Freedom of choice is the one major ingredient in this partnership.

It is a partnership and we know this because we, in effect, are continually changing. We are always searching for answers to the meaning of life. We create, not only, lives as we procreate, but also situations that reinforce our concept of survival. Being created in the image of God is our gateway to taking hold of our existence that gives us the capacity to enable that relationship to flourish. Partners compliment each other, not duplicate each other. Nor are partners’ mirrors of each other.

The Jewish relationship with God is also a “covenant” relationship. In exchange for the many opportunities that God has afforded to us, we need to be thankful and inventive at the same time. We should try to bring holiness and respect for law into every aspect of our lives because that is a connection allowing us to be true partners.

Judaism is also a faith of community for we believe that “chosen” refers to a mission, not that we are better than anyone else, but “chosen” to set an example, to inform all of humanity about the existence of God. That is true community. I disagree with those who would remain aloof and not share their religious fervor. Of what value is it to believe and keep that belief confined to a certain place or a certain society? Zealousness is not a synonym for exclusiveness. Even Hillel directed us to not separate ourselves from the community because the future of faith is dependent upon total exposure.

Even our prayers indicate the truth of this. Our prayers, for the most part, are written in the plural because we know that humanity cannot survive without human connection. Search through the prayer books and you will find that the ultimate extension of our prayer experience is the request for collective welfare.

We are also concerned with family and our rituals and ceremonies are focused upon family participation. Holidays such as Passover, Hanukkah, Sukkot are all designed to express religious understanding through family involvement. These particular holidays are concentrated in the home because faith begins with family group association. Our first introduction to God centers on the blessings we recite when we retire, when we awake, when we celebrate Shabbat. These expressions are reinforced when we attend religious school or the synagogue.

Finally, Judaism believes that all people are eligible to receive salvation-God’s blessings. That is why we respect other beliefs. That is why we don’t seek the conversion of the world. That is why we celebrate goodness from whatever source. We are motivated by the dictate of the Prophet Mica: “To do justly (fairness to one another), love mercy (kindness) and walk humbly with God (acknowledging the oneness of God and our attempt to be one with the Creator regardless of religious observance).”

Regardless of the path one chooses, Jew or non-Jew, the destination is the prime importance. And as Jeremiah proclaimed, as prescribed by God: “I know the place I have for you says God – a future and a hope.”

2008-10-17T08:16:00.000-07:00

2008-10-02T06:45:00.000-07:00

Kever Avot:
The Resting Places of our Ancestors

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

There is a beautiful ceremony that takes place each year during the Hebrew month of Elul. Sometimes it occurs on the Sunday between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. It is called Kever Avot.

We visit the gravesites of our relatives and friends and whisper their names as we attempt to remember and pay tribute to their memories. Some of us are not able to connect because of distant burials but we gather together at a cemetery because it symbolizes for us the resting places of everyone we knew and loved and cherished.

It is a graceful reminder of the flight of time as well as encouraging us to gain strength from the lives of loved ones. Some losses are recent and some more distant but all involving the recollection of achievements and defeats that make up our journey of life.

Not only do we memorialize but we also console. We have all traveled the road of the valley of the shadows and we understand the need for solace and comfort that is achieved with family and friends.

At this time of the year – the High Holidays – we are especially mindful of the fragility of life. We think of a Book that is open to the page with our name at the heading. And we wonder about our fate as well as those who have gone before us. We wonder whether we are doing justice to memories. No more smiles or laughter. No more touching or caressing. There is so much of no more.

Now is the time for memory to replace existence. Now is the time for healing so that remembrances of our loved ones have meaning. This is how we do justice to memories.
This is how we put into perspective our lives so that there are no regrets.

The people we remember at the Kever Avot ceremony do not have any tomorrows but they are always with us. We are their tomorrows. But what happens when we are gone – who will continue remember? The answer to that question, in my opinion, is quite simple: The Angels will continue to sing their names and God will always remember. The candles we light year after year will remain burned in the stars that shine forever. This is God’s promise of eternal life.

At this time – the time of Kever Avot – and the time of Yizkor, we concentrate on the reminiscences of all who were dear to us and who no longer travel the journey of life with us. Their memories should remind us that time is precious. And we should share every moment with someone we care about or needs us to lend a helping hand. The we will truly do honor to the memories that are part of our feelings – right now – right at the spot we find ourselves during this time – on this solemn occasion. Maybe this will help us as we travel the path that will lead us to the very spot we cherish.

I read a poem recently. There was no mention of the author. But it rings in my mind as I try to respect the dignity of the fallen ones:

And if I go while you are still here – know that I live on,
vibrating still to a different measure behind a thin veil you
cannot see through.

You will not see me, so you must have faith.

I wait the time when we can soar together again,
both aware of each other.

Until then, live your lives to the fullest.
And when you need me, just whisper my name in your heart-
I will be there.

Kever Avot gives us the ability to whisper the names of those we miss and know that they are with us as we remember.

2008-10-01T14:43:00.000-07:00

The Best Years of Our Lives
Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

I’ll bet that many people have seen the classic film of 1946, “The best years of our lives.” I must have seen it at least ten times and each time I watch I get a new feeling of warmth and a sense of sadness. It is a charming movie filled with emotion and wonderment and simplicity and innocence. In fact that time, immediately following World War 11, was a time of innocence. We were thrust into a war that saw millions of our men and women uprooted from every day living and sent to distant shores to fight for “justice, freedom and the American” way.

People cared about people. Neighbors knew each other. Doors were never locked. Children played in the streets. Bread was five cents. Bottles of milk had cream at the top. Coal trucks delivered fuel. Ice trucks liberated us from the heat and enabled us to preserve our food longer than for a day. Stamps were a penny. We didn’t need to get our phone calls from a corner store because now there were phones in the home – party lines and all. When we look back it certainly appears to be have been the “best years of our lives.”

How did we manage to move from then to now? Watching the movie helped me realize that each generation had its demons as well as renewal. There were those who returned from battle with scars that never healed. There were those who greeted these heroes without really understanding the torment endured or the nightmares that woke them in the middle of the night.

Returning servicemen and women were given as much help as was known at the time to enable them to rejoin the lives and loves they left behind. But the people they returned to, who endured the loneliness, the emptiness, never had the opportunity to prepare for things not being the same as they were before. True there were parades and cheering but when all that died down it was back to the reality of a changed community, a changed town, a changed country.

At this time of the year we roll back the pages of time and recall the bad and the good that has transpired. We even reflect further back to our youth and remember loved ones who no longer are here to share the next holiday. We also need to adjust to the changes that occur all around us.

Technology is different. We no longer have juke boxes or bee-bop. We no longer sit at the corner candy store and sip an ice cream soda or drink a malted and listen to the miniature recordings at the table or counter. Gas is no longer 25 cents a gallon and the purity of life is just a memory.

Now we are racing all over the place going from here to nowhere. Phones are glued to our ears. Greed is the new virtue. Our faith has been shaken by events that we cannot control. Everything is now instant – we don’t even have time to absorb what is happening all round us. And that is why we are here today – to stop the world – not to get off – but to enable us to think for a moment about who we are – where we are going – where we have been and why we are here.

Yes, it is Rosh Hashanah. What does that mean? Simply put it should be the beginning of the best years of our lives. It’s fun to reminisce. It’s amusing to remember our youth. But then reality sets in and we are here – right now – in this place – ready to start a New Year filled with all the dreams of the past which should give us the courage and ability to plan for the future.

Over the years we have learned valuable lessons. To me the most important of these is how to treat our friends and neighbors and service men and women. It wasn’t that long ago when we treated our warriors with disdain and contempt. They answered the call of their country and their country turned their backs on them. We no longer put stars in our windows or proudly announce duty to country and flag.

I believe that we are finally more aware of the value of service. And we can and should be cognizant of the value of life. We were not meant to stand and agonize over incidental things – things that really have no impact on our happiness. We live too much in the past and not enough in the gift of today. And each day is a gift because we don’t know what tomorrow has in store for us.

It is our obligation, our duty and responsibility to live as though these were the best years of our lives because they are. The past helped us get here but tomorrow begins our future and today is the beginning of that tomorrow.

There are aches and pains. There are defeats and more defeats until we look ahead and realize that that is part of the journey of life. There is no pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. There is the rainbow in all its beauty and splendor. If life was meant to be a walk in the park then we would be walking in the park referred to as the Garden of Eden. It is not reality.

Reality is that there is death, there is evil, there is hunger and disease. But there is hope. There is the hope of our involvement. There is the hope of our ability to lift the downtrodden with our spirit and our resources. We are not that old that we can’t lend a hand and show mercy and humility. Sometimes we go from crisis to crisis never thinking about the goodness is our lives. We just dig ourselves into an endless cycle of despair.

Sometimes we think that life is too much for us. We are older, we have more aches and pains and we see our friends slowly pass from our circle. Life certainly has burdens but there are also uplifting episodes such as births and anniversaries and all kinds of celebrations including the return of loved ones from battle.

Life is really simple. We make it difficult. We get angry over things that really don’t matter. We don’t talk to this one or that one because of something that was said that we don’t even remember.

As I watched the movie I was reminded of all that we endured as a nation, as individuals. And when the sun rose on a new day we knew that things would be different because we were different. Isn’t that what Rosh Hashanah represents? We endure the nightmares but we know that there is a tomorrow and that tomorrow can be better if we will it.

We humans are unique. Not only do we leave traces of who we were, but we also leave an understanding of what we have accomplished. True, sometimes events get ahead of us, but we are able to take advantage of time so that it has some relevance. After all, the purpose of our existence is to live life. And always remember that these are the “best years of our lives” because they are the only years of our lives. That is the true meaning of this season.

Goodbye, Or Farewell

2008-08-28T10:34:00.000-07:00

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

It is so difficult to say goodbye. Thoughts of missed opportunities, of dreams that were never realized, of hurts that never mended, all come to the surface when someone close to us dies. And we don’t want to say goodbye because it is so final.

We try to find the words that will offer comfort. We attempt to rationalize the time allotted so that it has some meaning. We soothe our pain by thinking of an eternal reward only God can give.

More than that we seem to concentrate on our own mortality.

The Talmud attempts to offer some insight by stating that every man has three friends – his children, his money, and his good deeds. So when the time comes to leave this world he calls to his children who inform him that no one can conquer death. Next is his money: he cries out to his savings, asking them to save him, and the money replies that wealth cannot save you from death. Finally he calls on his good deeds, and they offer an understanding that upon his arrival in the world to come, his good deeds will precede him to offer help to his soul.

Saying goodbye has two aspects - that which we say to our friends and families and that which we say to ourselves. What we say to others conveys the regrets and wishes that were never fulfilled, the sorrows of a life that was filled with tragedies, and the joys that gave us laughter and happiness. To ourselves we often express feelings of guilt and remorse: Have we been a true friend or a loving companion? But we’re also thankful for having been part of that life.

While we say goodbye we know that it is not final. Each year we light a candle to remind us of that special relationship that continues. During the year we recite the Yizkor prayer to enable us to assist that soul in its journey and destination with the Creator who breathed life into us at the beginning.

In the final analysis, what we attempt to do in saying goodbye is to keep the memory alive, for that is the essence of immortality. Most of us will never have a monument erected to remind everyone of our sojourn here on Earth. Most of us will not have poems or sonnets written for future generations to read. But some will have a section of a piece of land dedicated to our sacred voyage. Some will be scattered to the winds confirming the eternalness of life.

And we search for answers to why: why we left so soon, why we suffered, why is death so final and life so temporary? In one instant we open our eyes and in the next they are closed – never to be opened again. We tend to forget that in between the opening and the closing is what we call life. And life is to live. Sometimes life is not fair. Sometimes life is a burden. Sometimes life is filled with too much sorrow and despair.

However, life also contains weddings and births and celebrations designed to help us appreciate the gift given to us by a caring and loving God. Life is what we make of it through great effort. Life is love and kissing and hugging. Life is being able to say hello before we say goodbye.

Living allows us to comprehend the beauty of creation through life’s continuing evolution. Just as creation is never ending, so is life. We move from one form to another but never to a final destination; rather, we are returned to our Creator to be reborn again. The earth may be filled with the remnants of who we once were, but the soul winds its way toward that heavenly connection and eventually is reunited with another creation as new life is formed.

We are immortal because eternity is the natural succession of our existence today. We are immortal because life never ends but takes different forms and finally returns as it was. We are immortal because memory remains the link between life and death. We are immortal because we are created in the Divine image and as God is forever so are we.

Saying goodbye is painful because we suffer a loss, and there is a void that seems irreplaceable. Saying goodbye seems so final. Perhaps that is why we should say farewell, not goodbye. Farewell doesn’t appear to be so decisive, giving us an opportunity to never forget.

The Kaddish prayer is designed to help us understand that while there is a loss, there is also thankfulness for that person having been part of our life and for us having had the opportunity to enjoy a lover, a friend, a confidant, a parent. The ability to share the journey of life is the blessing and will help us say goodbye, or farewell.

Farewell, Dennis Mellman.

The Same Picture

2008-08-20T12:10:00.000-07:00

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

Recently I watched a movie in which a man took 4000 pictures (photos) of the same street scene over a period of 4000 days. At first I thought about how strange this is. But after reviewing in my mind that particular scene I began to realize that even though the picture was of the same street scene the characters changed because different people walked in front of the camera.

What does this have to do with Rosh Hashanah – a lot! Year after year we offer the same prayers, request the same kindness from a caring and loving God, hope that our lives will be less complicated – we pray for peace and justice – and it seems that the picture remains the same – different characters appear in each snapshot of life, but basically we are the same as our ancestors before us and if we could fast forward we probably would see the same ahead.

Each year we read either the Akedah – the binding of Isaac or Genesis – the beginning of everything. They are really connected – one deals with obedience and sacrifice and the other with how we got to the point of understanding the need for duty and honor and destiny.

Abraham is asked to submit to the will of God and present his son Isaac as the ultimate offering of fealty. Can anyone here imagine answering such a call? If we know anything about who we are as a people, we surely accept the fact that we bend over backwards to offer our children the best that we can and attempt to shield them from harm and danger. We invented the “yiddisher momma.” We are the first to show pictures of our children and grandchildren ad nausea. Can anyone really believe that we would take our child and kill him or her in the name of God?

Well, neither could Abraham, and for that matter, Sarah – she dies soon after this encounter – not clear in her mind as to what was happening or why or how God, who so lovingly granted her wish for a child, would want to retake that which was given. So much has been written about this chapter and the opinions vary. But the one clear message, to me, is that while God may not really require such obedience, it is evident that our mind can suggest ways for us to exonerate ourselves from our misgivings and in so doing cast the burden on our progeny. We do it all the time – we scapegoat instead of taking responsibility – we blame others for our shortcomings.

And then there is the belief that we learn from this episode that we have a responsibility to a higher calling. And as we learn from the Ramban, we must understand that our conscience should be the deciding factor in our dealings with one another. We all have the potential to do good which rates higher that the actual deed.

The second reading suggested is Bereshit (as interpreted in the Etz Haim) – Genesis – the creation of existence as we know it. It emphasizes God’s role in history. It sets forth our views and values on civilization and how we deem it part and parcel of the religion of Israel. It describes God as wholly sufficient, independent of nature – the unchallenged sovereign of the world who is involved in human affairs – He is the God of history and He is the God of creation – the creation of the human spirit, and the two – God and the spirit of humanity are woven together to complete the event of creation.

The lesson we learn from the “Beginning” is that we are born with free will, moral responsibility and accountability. There is no free ride. If we wanted a free ride, God would have left us in the Garden. If, however, we want to be a partner with God in perfecting that which He put before us, then we need to accept the duty that is incumbent upon us.

On the one hand we are asked to make sacrifices and on the other we are asked to take responsibility – they are in fact connected – sometimes being responsible requires sacrifice.

Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur deal with acknowledgement and willingness – admitting that we are who we are and therefore must answer for our actions and eager to submit to the task of saying we are sorry.

And, God doesn’t really want us to complete the deed – just make the attempt. Maybe then we won’t be so hard on ourselves and our supplications and contrition will have meaning for us.

Yes, it is the same picture year after year, but while the scenery doesn’t change, the people in the foreground do – each new generation seeking to find the answer – each generation seeking the understanding of God.

A rabbi, wishing to instruct a small boy on God’s ability to be everywhere, said to the boy:
“Show me every place that God is, and I will give you a penny.”
“Rabbi,” answered the boy, with the insight of youth, “show me any place that God isn’t, and I will give you two pennies.”

Is there a better answer?

Israel - The Future

2008-08-01T12:26:00.000-07:00

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

At this time of the year, the time for observance of the High Holidays, our thoughts revolve around what was, what is, and what will be. And just as much thought is given to a place that has been in our hearts, Israel. We speak to God about the past and we beseech God about the future. This is a time for great contemplation about our place in the world and the contributions we have made for the betterment of the human experience.

There is a Yiddish folk saying that goes: “You have chosen us from among all the nations. Why, O Lord? What did you have against us?” Sometimes we wonder what all the fuss is about – this “chosen” business. Everyone calls us the “chosen people” and just as many want to undo what has been ordained. Is it jealousy? Perhaps. But the real culprit is the interpretation. We were chosen to deliver a message and to do so requires a place from which to accomplish this. That place is Israel, the Holy Land, the place designated to deliver the Holy message of God.

Whether you believe in the theory of the “Promised Land” is immaterial. The important thing to remember is that our people settled that land over three thousand years ago. That’s right, not yesterday, or two centuries ago, or even two millennium ago. We were chased and scattered all over the world for two thousand years, and finally, 60 years ago we returned with the vow never to be separated again.

David Ben-Gurion once stated that building a State means for us a return to the soil. We found hundreds of Arab villages but we did not take them away. We established hundreds of new Jewish villages bought with Jewish National Fund monies. We didn’t merely buy the land, we re-created the land. Hundreds of Jews died of malaria in the swamps and those that survived refused to leave until it was made healthy. With our toil, our sweat, and with an abundance of love we remade and are remaking the soil to enable all to settle there, not at the expense of anyone else. Anyone who has visited Israel (only 20% of American Jewry) can attest to a barren land made to flourish, cities that now reach heights of modernity. We have made contributions to humankind never dreamed possible that now enable people to live a better life.

We could repeat over and over again the virtues of a people so devoted to a land, a place, an ideal, and not repeat ourselves once. But there are forces that exist both covertly and overtly that would do everything to undermine the truth of who we are and what the Land of Israel means to us. Even to the extent of trying to re-write history.

A while ago there were a series of programs presented by CNN – a news media that does not hide its bias against Israel. The program was titled “God’s Warriors.” It was supposed to illustrate the fringes of all three religions, Judaism, Christianity and Islam. Critics have already highlighted the programs multiple distortions, questionable experts and troubling bias regarding Judaism. The crux of the presentation regarding Judaism had nothing to do with Judaism but was used to denounce the settlements and their so-called impediment to a lasting Middle East peace. Can anyone in their right mind believe that this is the root of all the turmoil?

Before 1967 there were no settlements, but still the Arabs lived in poverty with no relief from their brothers in other Arab lands. Terrorists bombed Israel; Arab children had explosives strapped to their little bodies and were martyred by their people. Now their mother's have replaced them. There is nothing new here.

What is new is the suggestion that America’s ills are tied to this issue; that September 11, 2001 is a direct result of this issue; that the reign of terror visited on the whole world is a result of this issue; that terror organizations such as Hezbollah, PLO, Hamas, etc. are a result of this issue.

The program insisted that the Israel lobby controls America; that American Jews have dual loyalties; that the Jews are the cause of all the ills in the world. On and on we hear the same old tales with different twists. Never was it mentioned that Islam has declared war on the world – first the Saturday observers and then the Sunday observers.

In a new book by two distinguished professors, John Mearsheimer of the University of Chicago and Stephen Walt of Harvard wrote that Israel and America share common values. They portray Israel as an aggressor nation constantly threatening its neighbors and brutalizing the Palestinians and that the main reason America is the target of terrorists is because of its support for Israel. Even a past president of these United States espouses this theory and goes even further only because of his receipt of monies from Arab entities.

It is important for us to remember who we are. We need to understand who “they” are.
Not because we seek revenge but rather because we must safeguard our very lives from those who wish to destroy us. But as God has promised and fulfilled time and again –“those who curse you will themselves be cursed.”

Our dreams are the fabric that keep us from disappearing as have so many other civilizations. Centuries of wandering never dimmed our hope. Centuries of despair never diminished our faith. Centuries of pogroms, destruction and dispersion, never caused us to abandon our rightful place among the peoples of the earth. And no power, save that of the All powerful will cause this people to relinquish its rightful claim. The world needs to know and understand that this people are connected to that land now and forever.

Israel has endured; the Jewish people and the world are witness to the reclamation. If Israel is not successful how long before everyone endures the same fate? If Israel loses its land the world will lose its soul.

What can we do? Quite simply, as we approach the High Holiday season, continue to support Israel thus ensuring our destiny. We need to walk the ground that our ancestors walked; listen to the call of the ages as the Prophets once did; ensure the continuity of the generations. And pray that the children of Abraham, all of them, will find comfort with one another so that peace can be secured. Maybe then we will not have to wonder why God “chose” us. It will be evident.

A Spiritual New Year

2008-07-25T11:27:00.000-07:00

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

The New Year we are about to celebrate affords us the opportunity to pause and reflect and even contemplate. So much has happened in one year. Lives are lost, births are recorded and in between we travel into unknown areas – places we haven’t been to before. There is excitement as well as hesitation – a fear of the unknown.

A New Year also gives us time to rededicate our spiritual selves. It is a time to think about relationships, missed opportunities. We know that bonding and connecting help us make life livable and rewarding. Our lives are cemented by love and understanding with friends, family and sweethearts.

Even when we lose a loved one, we somehow, through the experience of this season, find comfort and courage. One day we wrote the name of someone we held dear on the sands of time and then it was washed away. Some are fortunate to be able to write a new name and just as many never seem to find the energy or the desire to write again. All this becomes part of the experience of our spiritual journey.

This time of the year seems to produce melancholy and despondency. Instead of rejoicing as another years rolls around we concentrate on what was and we tend to go through the motions of gladness. We should remember that just as the trees shed their leaves in the winter and sleep, we too go through certain emptiness. But then comes spring and summer and a time of re-birth. – and all is right. Even those of us who lost our true love or a loving parent or a child, have memories – but those memories should sustain us and give us renewed strength. Life goes on and we owe it to ourselves and those left behind to continue because life is to live even as we mourn.

A New Year enables us to garner our strength and bring a new sense of purpose to our existence. A New Year connects us to life as we remember the past. A New Year helps us understand the beauty of life, while not forgetting those who are no longer a part of everyday living.

A New Year endows us with ability understand that time is a healer and our best friend in the entire world is God. A New Year should teach us that doing evil to another human being is worse than doing evil to God.

Sometimes we find it so difficult to fathom God and our place in the universe. We become so cynical because of all that happens or doesn’t happen. It is ironic that people of faith sometimes lose that faith. It is so difficult to remember that we have so much to be thankful for – family, friends – more importantly – life! Instead we look for scapegoats for our sometimes self-inflicted misery. We seem to be so sure that God is nowhere to be found because there is so much ugliness. How can there be a God and also such agony? We constantly blame God for our misfortune and all the while we create such unhappiness by not allowing love to be part of our daily experience.

God is here! God is everywhere! All we have to do is look around us to see the beauty of nature, or the birth of a child, or the colors of the rainbow, the breathtaking view of the horizon as the sun rises and sets. Just watch a bird soar through the sky and know that God is there to lift us to greater heights of ecstasy through intimacy and sharing.

We should be reminded that we need to learn and reflect to the best of our capacity, and when we reach a point where we are unable to make sense of life, we should supplant understanding with faith. We must have faith in tomorrow and our ability to meet each day with joy and thankfulness. And just when we think we have lost all faith and seem to have been abandoned by God, we should love God even more. We do no less for a friend or family member – we have unconditional love for a child – how much more so for God who gave us the ability to love so completely.

Perhaps, at this beginning of a New Year we should reinforce our belief in the Creator who created us and is a guide to all creatures, that He alone makes and will make everything – that He is unique and only he is God – who was, who is and who will always be.

Perhaps we will awaken in us the faith needed to comprehend this time and what it can offer us so that we will face tomorrow with greater anticipation. After all this is a time of faith and healing and dreaming. This is what a New Year is all about. And dreams do come true if you believe.

Retire From Jobs, Not From Life

2008-07-17T08:58:00.000-07:00

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

There is a segment of the population that now finds itself in a different situation. Namely retirement.

The generation of retirement age, for the most part, is settled. Many have done their share over the years: raised a family, supported charitable endeavors, involvement in community activities. And now there are the twilight years.

It is not that simple. As an example: We must remain part of our community because when the need arises for civic pride and neighborly support, we will turn to each other for the comfort that comes with such participation.

Retirement from life is not part of the equation of settling in. Birth, we know, is a beginning and death a destination; but life, well that is a journey, a continuous journey with each stage in our development.

We travel this journey from the beginning, through our childhood and hopefully to maturity. Part of that journey includes an awareness and discretion and hopefully wisdom. And just as there are speed bumps on the highways of our travels so too life has its twists and turns that can bring weakness and despair. But these bumps, these detours should remind us to slow down and sense all that is around us.

There is victory along the way because we take the time to realize that this journey of life is also a sacred pilgrimage. There is defeat but there is also the start of a new day with all its wonders and mysteries. And we should approach these experiences with renewed strength.

We represent a generation that was in the forefront of human decency. We took our responsibilities seriously by nurturing those institutions representing the dignity of the human spirit. Sometimes, though, we forget.

We forget, as well, that there is this great country called America. Some say that it doesn’t need as much from us as it once did. The truth of the matter is

America needs our involvement more than ever. We need this connection as we did in the past.

We are a faith-based people. And because we are we have an added responsibility to ensure that the generations that follow understand that the very fabric of our existence is woven into our relationship with the Divine.

We forget how fragile our society is. We need to repair this tear in the world because we need the world and the world needs us.

Recent events should help us understand that the past brought us to today. Being settled in gives us added responsibilities. They include continuing to do and encouraging everyone else to do as well. We may be tired but we cannot rest.

When we feel threatened we are calmed with the knowledge that our community will respond. When we pray, we connect to God. When we do good things, we connect to one another. We cannot retire from life.

A story is told of a time and place where people could not bend their arms. Because of this they could not lift food to their mouths. Slowly, but surely, people died from the lack of nourishment. Then one person discovered that if he reached for the food with his outstretched arm he could carry the food and feed another person until one by one all realized that carrying the food and feeding each other was the formula for survival.

This is the message of respect for the sanctity of life and our sacred obligation to lend a helping hand to everyone in need. Retirement does not relieve us of this obligation. We cannot retire from life.

Deeds and Actions

2008-07-16T11:56:00.000-07:00

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

Each year, during the summer, I begin to think about the High Holidays that follow in the fall. Somehow my year is centered on holidays and not everyday happenings. During each celebration I begin to concentrate on the next holiday and then before I realize it the year has passed.

This year is no exception. Summer is here and my efforts are devoted to preparing for the ultimate season – the season of introspection and renewal – the High Holidays.

I am reminded of a story about the Ba’al Shem Tov and how one day during class he dwelt on the subject of preaching, emphasizing that an effective rabbi is one who delivers sermons in which lessons will be learned and life’s meaning revealed.

After the class, the Great Sage approached one of his students and extended and invitation to him to accompany the rabbi as he traveled and preached. The student was overjoyed. To preach with the Master – how wonderful! What an opportunity!

They set out on their journey, and along the way, the rabbi stopped at the home of a widow. The rabbi and his student chopped wood for the elderly woman and took care of her livestock. As they left the grateful woman, the student asked his rabbi why he had not preached to her? The Ba’al Shem Tov told his student not to worry.

Continuing on, they stopped in a village to visit another congregant. They found the person lying in bed, sick, unable to fend for himself. Again the rabbi and his student did chores. They prepared food for the ailing man and even fed him. And again, as they left, the student asked why his rabbi had not preached? And again, the Ba’al Shem Tov assured his student that there was no cause for concern.

At the end of a full day, after the good rabbi and his student had tended to many others in need, the frustration was even more prominent. Again the student questioned why there had been no preaching? Finally, the Ba’al Shem Tov gently admonished, “What do you think we have been doing all day?”

This story illustrates the thoughts that run through my mind each year at this time. The deeds, not the words really matter. The magic of good deeds and the value of actions far outweigh any words that may be spoken. And yet we cannot be expected to perform these acts of loving-kindness if we are not prodded by words. So if words lead to action then preaching is important.

That is precisely what the High Holiday season is designed to accomplish. We are steered through a process that enables us to understand the meaning of the words. We are encouraged to participate in an effort that can and should lead to personal satisfaction. We are elevated to a level of sanctification unimaginable because we can reach such a place. We are able to make holiness a reality because of our desire to be good and noble. We can concentrate on feeling good about ourselves because we are good and this time allows us to say so. We can do all these things and more because collectively we gather our thoughts and express them aloud in prayer and meditation.

We start with Selichot – a time set aside to begin the process of self-examination. We travel to Rosh Hashanah – a time to search our inner being; to bring to the surface those attributes which allow us a moment of blessing. We move to Yom Kippur – a time to sort the past from the present as we prepare for the future. And we listen to the sound of Shofar – the piercing sound of a call to action. And we are cleansed and know that we have been successful in our quest for acceptance.

But the day after is the most important part of this season: Understanding what was said through prayer and supplication. Expressions that need to be translated into deeds and actions. Charity needs to be dispensed. Participation in worthwhile endeavors. Reunion of family. Forgiveness of ill spoken words. Remembering milestone celebrations. Simple expression of love. All these things can bring us the salvation we search for during this period and beyond.

Perhaps it is too much to expect of ourselves. Perhaps we are not capable of accomplishing all these things. Not to worry. There is always tomorrow. And that is what this time allows us: The opportunity to be what we think we should be and then to keep trying even when our failings remind us of our fallibility.

Yes, the summer is here. The season of our elevation to impossible heights is around the corner. Now is the time to think about deeds and actions.

A Spiritual Journey

2008-07-11T10:45:00.000-07:00

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

Spirituality incorporates character and responsibility. Spirituality includes a partnership with God that requires confrontation, not acceptance. We are required to question God because to do so enables us to understand the meaning of life. That is why we are called Israel: we struggle with the notion of God and are determined to comprehend the true essence of our relationship.

What is it that we question? Primarily we are concerned with the existence of evil. There has always been evil. There will always be evil. That is the eternal quest: to understand why there is evil and the part it plays in the elaborate road map called creation.

We are also romantics, always thinking that good will be the ultimate victor. The Psalmist and the Prophets talk about the time when all will be right with the world, and yet we, their progeny, are still grappling with the notion of right defeating might. We spend too much time on why and not enough on what.

It is not so important to analyze evil, but rather to accept that it exists and that there are times when the slate has to be made clean and a new beginning is necessary. And occasionally we regret having been part of the wickedness.

So the lesson here is that while we sometimes may feel righteous indignation, we cannot fully determine our role until we understand that we must try to be the best we are capable of being and that a partnership with God requires us to be a community of people concerned with survival. Our survival depends upon our relationship with each other and the word Tzibur (community) is derived from three (3) words: Tzadik, righteousness; Benoni, average; Rasha, evildoer. That is what makes a community: the presence of all three, good, bad and the in between.

And we need to take responsibility for our actions. Not be like Adam, when confronted by God about eating from the Tree of Knowledge, against God’s wishes, argues that he is blameless. “The woman made me do it.”

Not taking responsibility is contrary to the concept of Pekuach Nefesh (the respect for life). Not speaking out when we witness injustice is contrary to Pekuach Nefesh. We are responsible for each other and we need to be concerned about all that is around us because we cannot exist alone. If we are truly partners with God then we are obligated to act as a true partner, not as a passive accepting and fate filled participant.

That has been the calling of the Jewish people: to be guardians, promoters and messengers. We have been in the forefront of civil rights, unions, and anything that helps people live with dignity. We establish Chevra Kadishas (Burial Societies), Gemilut Hesed programs (Benevolent Societies), and Synagogues (Places of Learning) to enable humanity the ability to be productive and caring which is the hallmark of a reliable partnership with God.

We have a duty to follow the dictates of the pronouncement found in the Talmud that saving one person is tantamount to saving the entire world. We cannot be selfish and look only after ourselves. We must take a broader approach to ensure that life, as we know it, will continue. That is what partnership is all about. That is what Pekuach Nefesh is all about. We were created in the divine image and with that creation God has accomplished one part of the equation of partnership. Our effort should be the completion of the partnership: the survival of humanity, the survival of our planet.

If you think about it – it truly is a spiritual journey.