Sometimes it so difficult to say thank you!

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

In God’s Little Acre, a compilation of inspirational stories, there is one narrative that caught my eye because it speaks to the problems we have communicating with each other, and in turn with God. It is especially difficult when we have to say, “I’m sorry,” but I believe just as embarrassing to say, “Thank you.” Perhaps it is because saying thank you indicates indebtedness and we are reluctant to be beholden to someone.

Regardless, it is part of human relationships and important primarily due to the fact that we tend to forget to say kind things, or are too busy. There is so much to be grateful for, especially as we begin to enter the season of forgiveness and gratitude. Our tradition teaches that even as we mourn a loved one, we end that grief with a prayer called “Kaddish.” It is not a prayer of sorrow but rather an affirmation of our understanding of life.

When darkness envelops us, we tend to concentrate on the loss and not remind ourselves of the goodness of life and the “Thank you” we owe God for sharing that life with us. It is so hard to say thank you when our pain seems to be too much to bear. But then, if we study the words, we get a clearer insight into birth and death and all that is in-between.

Thinking about this as we approach a time in our lives giving us the opportunity to step back and rejuvenate. Unfortunately we tend to wait for a prescribed time to be grateful and at the same time be regretful. And that is why the approaching season is so vital.

Perhaps the following story, taken from God’s Little Acre, will expand on these thoughts:

Charles Plumb, a U.S. Naval Academy graduate, was a jet pilot in Vietnam. After 75 combat missions, his plane was destroyed by a surface-to-air missile. Plumb ejected and parachuted into enemy hands. He was captured and spent 6 years in a communist Vietnamese prison. He survived the ordeal and now lectures on lessons learned from that experience.

One day, when Plumb and his wife were sitting in a restaurant, a man at another table came up and said, “You’re Plumb! You flew jet fighters in Vietnam from the aircraft carrier Kitty Hawk. You were shot down!” “How in the world did you know that?” asked Plumb. “I packed your parachute,” the man replied. Plumb gasped in surprise and gratitude. The man pumped his hand and said, “I guess it worked!” Plumb assured him, “It sure did. If your chute hadn’t worked, I wouldn’t be here today.”

Plumb couldn’t sleep that night, thinking about the man. Plumb says, “I kept wondering what he might have looked like in a Navy uniform: a white hat, a bib in the back, and bell-bottom trousers. I wonder how many times I might have seen him and not even said ‘good morning,’ how are you? Or anything because you see, I was a fighter pilot and he was just a sailor.” Plumb thought of the many hours the sailor had spent on a long wooden table in the bowls of the ship, carefully weaving the shrouds and folding the silks of each chute, holding in his hands each time the fate of someone he didn’t know.

Now, Plumb asks his audience, “Who’ packing your parachute?”

Everyone has someone who provides what they need to make it through the day. Plumb also pointed out that he needed many kinds of parachutes when his plane was shot down over enemy territory – he needed his physical parachute, his mental parachute, his emotional parachute, and his spiritual parachute. He called on all these supports before reaching safety.

Sometimes in the daily challenges that life give us, we miss what is really important. We may fail to say hello, please, or thank you, congratulate someone on something wonderful that has happened to them, give a compliment, or just something nice for no reason. Maybe we even ignore people because they are different.

As the weeks and months progress, recognize people who pack your parachute. Most importantly remember the One who packs all our parachutes both in times of sadness and in times of gladness.

Life is a blessing with all of its trials and tribulation, and yes sometimes it is difficult to say thank you, but we need to try. I really believe we will all feel something different and wonderful.