Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.
As we age it seems that the gates to eternity open too frequently. So many people have begun a different journey; a journey that does not include our participation but brings tears to our eyes and thoughts of our own mortality.
The difficulty in saying farewell leaves an ache that permeates our being. The absence can sometimes be daunting and we begin to question whether we did enough or said enough to really matter. People, in general, do not remember what we say, what we did, but they will always remember how you made them feel. I was reminded of this when I read the following story:
The Cab Ride
(Author unknown)
Twenty years ago, I drove a cab for a living. It was great being my own boss with no one to answer to. What I didn’t realize was that it was also a ministry. Because I drove the night shift, my cab became a moving confessional. Passengers climbed in, sat behind me in total anonymity, and told me about their lives. I encountered people whose lives amazed me, ennobled me, and made me laugh and weep.
But none touched me more than the woman I picked up late one August night.
I was responding to a call from a small brick fourplex in a quiet part of town. I assumed I was being sent to pick up some partiers, or someone who had just had a fight with a lover, or a worker heading to an early shift at some factory.
When I arrived at 2:30 a.m., the building was dark except for a single light in a ground floor window. Many drivers would probably just honk, wait a minute, and then drive away. But I had seen too many impoverished people who depended on taxis as their only means of transportation. Unless a situation smelled of danger, I always went to the door. Perhaps this person needed some assistance, I reasoned to myself. So I walked to the door and knocked.
“Just a minute,” answered a frail, elderly voice. After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 80s stood before me dragging a suit case, wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets. There were no clocks on the walls, any knickknacks or utensils on the counters. And in the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware.
“Would you carry my bag to the car?” she asked. I took the suitcase to the cab then returned to assist the woman. She kept thanking me for my kindness. “It’s nothing,” I replied. “I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother treated.” “Oh, you’re such a good boy,” she said. When we got in the cab, she gave me the address, and then asked, “Could you drive through downtown?” “It’s not the shortest way,” I answered. “Oh, I don’t mind,” she said. “I’m in no hurry. I’m on my way to a hospice.” I looked in the rearview mirror. Her eyes were glistening. “I don’t have any family left,” she continued. “The doctor says I don’t have very long.”
I quietly turned off the meter. “What route would you like me to take?” I asked.
For the next few hours we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked, the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds. She asked me to stop in front of a warehouse and told me that it once was a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl. Sometimes she would ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.
As the sun began to rise, she suddenly said, “I’m tired. Let’s go now.”
We drove in silence to the address she had given me. It was a convalescent home. Two orderlies came out and watching every move, they helped her. I guess they were expecting her.
I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already in a wheelchair. “How much do I owe you?” she asked, reaching into her purse. “Nothing,” I said. “You have to make a living,” she answered. “There are other passengers,” I responded. I bent down to give her a hug. She held onto me tightly. “You gave an old woman a little moment of joy,” she said. “Thank you.” I walked away. Behind me a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life.
All sorts of thoughts ran through my mind like, “What if someone didn’t take the time to be with her or drive her around or listen to her stories?” I don’t think I ever did anything more important in my life. We are conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments. But great moments often catch us unaware-beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.
The year 2011 is around the corner and with it the same troubles that were there just a short while ago. Will this year be different or will it be the same? The challenges are great, the effort seems futile. And then I remember a story titled, “The Cab Ride.”
Many such stories can be found in the journey we take but the important thing to remember is that our world is so fragile and we are so dependent on each other and are very important to each other. The rest seems so insignificant. Don’t you agree?
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Understanding and Faith
Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.
Around this time each year we agonize over Hanukkah and Christmas. The greatest anxiety deals with whether these are truly religious holidays or the invention of merchants designed to encourage us to spend – spend – spend. Our celebrations have become a test of commercial endurance.
Christians claim that Jesus is no longer the central thought of the holiday and Jews decry the importance given to Hanukkah because of its proximity to Christmas.
First, allow me to address the concerns of our Christian neighbors and friends: No one can take the significance of the holiday away from you – only you can do that. How much emphasis is put into the giving and receiving instead of the message was not invented by others. Some non-Christians even complain when someone says “Merry Christmas” to them, knowing full well that they don’t celebrate the holiday. I suggest that it is a greeting of happiness and expectation – the willingness to share their joy with others and is not intended to insult but rather include them in the spirit of grace and gratitude.
Second, the Jewish commemoration of Hanukkah has developed into a contest. Presents and decorations are the order of the day, not the significance of the first episode in recorded history where people fought for their religious freedom. The lights on the Menorah are to remind us of the light offered us by God to live in peace and share that moment of redemption so that others can be what they want, do what they want, pray as they want and believe as they want.
So each year the dilemma of the holidays especially in interfaith households dominates the need for identification. There is the desire to show sensitivity and respect but there is a strong feeling of emptiness because the true meaning of the holidays are lost in the tangled web of evenness. One holiday should not be celebrated more than the other so not to offend. The explanation to children becomes difficult because they seem to feel the tension and confusion.
Everyone forgets that there is a connection between the two holidays other than the time of the year. The relationship can be found in one word: Light.
Christmas is a time of lights whether on a tree or in the decorations or the luminaries found on walkways that are designed to lead Christians to the path of birth and redemption. Forget that this is the darkest time of the year so the lights are there to illuminate our path thus avoiding the dark places of despair. While that may sound good and perhaps was the original intent of the lights, it has come to signify more and we should all respect the need for spiritual guidance that the lights are designed to enhance.
Hanukkah too is a time of lights. We all know the story of the one cruise of oil found in the Temple in Jerusalem when the Maccabees defeated the Syrian-Greek army and rushed to cleanse the Temple of all the defilement. The Menorah which was the symbol of the eternalness of God because the flame was never extinguished and is replicated today by the Eternal Light found over the Ark of the Covenant containing the Holy Scriptures, the Torah, needed oil to burn. The Talmud tells us that there was only enough oil for one night and it took eight days to purify and produce the oil and miracle of miracles, it lasted the eight days until new oil could be manufactured.
It doesn’t matter whether you believe the story or even if it is true, what does matter is what the story signifies to us and to all humanity: that the light of truth and dignity and freedom cannot be extinguished as long as we believe in the sanctify of life.
The religious freedom that was won 2400 years ago has been the light for all generations whether it be a light in the sky signifying a birth or a light in a mind bringing the message of salvation or a light on a table allowing us to feel free to read what we wish and understand the wishes and dreams of others.
Many things have happened throughout the course of history that should not be repeated. Many things have also happened throughout history which do need repeating and are lost in the hate and bigotry that cause the lights to go out. This time of the year should remind us of the eternal struggle of good and evil. We visit our respective houses of worship and pray for goodness to survive, for evil to be eradicated.
The lights are there to remind us that God cannot do this for us. He is lighting the way for us to do these things for ourselves. This is the message of Christmas. This is the message of Hanukkah. We need to allow the lights of the season to guide us in the path of survival. We all need the light – we all need each other.
To my Christian friends, it is my pleasure to say to you – “Merry Christmas.” To each other, it is an honor to say – “Happy Hanukkah.” Our prayer should be whether Jew of Gentile, whether Christmas or Hanukkah celebrant, that we use the lights – the common lights – to teach us true brotherhood and friendship.
AMEN
Around this time each year we agonize over Hanukkah and Christmas. The greatest anxiety deals with whether these are truly religious holidays or the invention of merchants designed to encourage us to spend – spend – spend. Our celebrations have become a test of commercial endurance.
Christians claim that Jesus is no longer the central thought of the holiday and Jews decry the importance given to Hanukkah because of its proximity to Christmas.
First, allow me to address the concerns of our Christian neighbors and friends: No one can take the significance of the holiday away from you – only you can do that. How much emphasis is put into the giving and receiving instead of the message was not invented by others. Some non-Christians even complain when someone says “Merry Christmas” to them, knowing full well that they don’t celebrate the holiday. I suggest that it is a greeting of happiness and expectation – the willingness to share their joy with others and is not intended to insult but rather include them in the spirit of grace and gratitude.
Second, the Jewish commemoration of Hanukkah has developed into a contest. Presents and decorations are the order of the day, not the significance of the first episode in recorded history where people fought for their religious freedom. The lights on the Menorah are to remind us of the light offered us by God to live in peace and share that moment of redemption so that others can be what they want, do what they want, pray as they want and believe as they want.
So each year the dilemma of the holidays especially in interfaith households dominates the need for identification. There is the desire to show sensitivity and respect but there is a strong feeling of emptiness because the true meaning of the holidays are lost in the tangled web of evenness. One holiday should not be celebrated more than the other so not to offend. The explanation to children becomes difficult because they seem to feel the tension and confusion.
Everyone forgets that there is a connection between the two holidays other than the time of the year. The relationship can be found in one word: Light.
Christmas is a time of lights whether on a tree or in the decorations or the luminaries found on walkways that are designed to lead Christians to the path of birth and redemption. Forget that this is the darkest time of the year so the lights are there to illuminate our path thus avoiding the dark places of despair. While that may sound good and perhaps was the original intent of the lights, it has come to signify more and we should all respect the need for spiritual guidance that the lights are designed to enhance.
Hanukkah too is a time of lights. We all know the story of the one cruise of oil found in the Temple in Jerusalem when the Maccabees defeated the Syrian-Greek army and rushed to cleanse the Temple of all the defilement. The Menorah which was the symbol of the eternalness of God because the flame was never extinguished and is replicated today by the Eternal Light found over the Ark of the Covenant containing the Holy Scriptures, the Torah, needed oil to burn. The Talmud tells us that there was only enough oil for one night and it took eight days to purify and produce the oil and miracle of miracles, it lasted the eight days until new oil could be manufactured.
It doesn’t matter whether you believe the story or even if it is true, what does matter is what the story signifies to us and to all humanity: that the light of truth and dignity and freedom cannot be extinguished as long as we believe in the sanctify of life.
The religious freedom that was won 2400 years ago has been the light for all generations whether it be a light in the sky signifying a birth or a light in a mind bringing the message of salvation or a light on a table allowing us to feel free to read what we wish and understand the wishes and dreams of others.
Many things have happened throughout the course of history that should not be repeated. Many things have also happened throughout history which do need repeating and are lost in the hate and bigotry that cause the lights to go out. This time of the year should remind us of the eternal struggle of good and evil. We visit our respective houses of worship and pray for goodness to survive, for evil to be eradicated.
The lights are there to remind us that God cannot do this for us. He is lighting the way for us to do these things for ourselves. This is the message of Christmas. This is the message of Hanukkah. We need to allow the lights of the season to guide us in the path of survival. We all need the light – we all need each other.
To my Christian friends, it is my pleasure to say to you – “Merry Christmas.” To each other, it is an honor to say – “Happy Hanukkah.” Our prayer should be whether Jew of Gentile, whether Christmas or Hanukkah celebrant, that we use the lights – the common lights – to teach us true brotherhood and friendship.
AMEN
Friday, December 3, 2010
You Just Don't Get It, Thomas L. Friedman
Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.
In his column titled: “I believe I can fly,” (N.Y. Times, November 14, 2010) the predictable anti-Israel rhetoric remains strong and vibrant. It doesn’t matter that what he writes deals with today with no regard for yesterday. It doesn’t matter that what he suggests is rooted in disdain for a people and their ideals and ideas. It doesn’t matter that he places Israel at the top of his list of distortions neglecting the other more important aspects of human tragedies that are too numerous to mention. What matters to him is that Israel be singled out for public denunciation and disesteem.
He writes about the Prime Minister of Israel, referring to him as “Bibi, “a nickname given to him by friends, not using his formal name, Benjamin Netanyahu. If this does not smack of irreverence, I don’t know what does.
Once again the issue of “settlements” is raised and brought to the front of the issues facing Israel and its neighbors. We have President Obama to thank for that because until he made this a cause for condemnation, it never really was a true issue as it has become. How forgetful we conveniently become when all we have to look back and remember is that at each turn in the long struggle for survival new obstacles are put in the road. New speed bumps are added to the equation bringing us to the undeniable conclusion that accommodation is not the order of the day.
It is ironic that the liberal commentators and the liberal media, claiming to be impartial and unbiased, refuse to listen to their own distortions of truth and fabrications. Liberalism today does not allow for differing opinions. Their mantra has become ensconced in the dogmatic approach to subjects they hold dear.
There was a time when true discourse was part of the American political agenda. There were always extremists on both sides, but there was a respect that enabled people to bring to the forefront their vision of a world of common decency. From the very beginning of our existence as a nation we understood the value of opinions and how they can be instrumental in determining our future. But we also knew that when the dust settled the will of the majority prevailed.
No we see recriminations and distrust that permeate our thinking and attitudes.
We are no longer civil. We no longer continue life content that tomorrow may bring another set of standards. The system of government we designed gives us the opportunity to continue the debate because there are many sides to every discussion. And while we join together in adjusting to the order of things, we still have the ability to make changes through a process called elections.
Conservatives make their point and liberals argue just as forcefully. That is the American way. However, we have become a fragmented society with no room for give and take, no room for maneuvering or compromise. Government has become polarized to the extent that we shout at each other rather than taking a considerate approach.
All this leads me back to the original premise of this article: getting it wrong because of prejudice and bias; disseminating information that is slanted and perverted. Israel has become the Goliath of Biblical proportions. No matter its desire and need to live in peace with its neighbors. At every turn in its existence it has been singled out as a pariah. If only Israel would disappear all would be right with the world. Look at the list of accomplishments of the U.N: The single most discussed issue deals with Israel. On numerous occasions in its sixty-five year history, this body has condemned and demonized this tiny bastion of hope and redemption.
History is replete with lesson after lesson of futile attempts to annihilate Israel and yet we survive. Is there a message here? I believe so. And the lesson is simple and comes straight from Scripture: “Those who curse Israel will themselves be cursed, but those who bless Israel will receive the blessings they so richly deserve.” (Genesis, 12:1-3) And if Scripture is not sufficient to draw any conclusions then perhaps short walks down the lane of history will give you pause to reflect.
To begin, Israel is no saint among all the sinners. It has contributed its share of mistakes and will probably do so in the future. That is because we, like everyone else, are human with human frailties and human fallibilities. But the rest of the world has demonstrated this rush to judgment. The fact that these pronouncements are motivated by fear and intimidation and not by truth surely makes them exercises in futility. Truth is the one fabric in the weave of human existence that remains central to the salvation of civilized society. Without truth there can be no expectation of connection and survival.
Israel stands at the crossroads of civilizations quest for acceptance. It wants to be part of an ever shrinking world. Its citizens are primarily interested in surviving an onslaught of vilification from every corner of the globe. Our own country, which stood by it from the very beginning, seems to be joining in the chorus of damnation starting from the very top. It is not a comfortable situation because we know the value of the Jewish experience in America. We learned from hard work and perseverance that success is not to be taken for granted. We learned, only to well, the meaning of “There arose a Pharaoh who knew not Joseph.” (Exodus, 1:8)
It seems that at every chapter in our history as a people we had to justify our worth and demonstrate over and over again the contributions made to the societies in which we were sent and even fled. And here in the United States these advances only reinforced our belief in the goodness and justice we found and a feeling of gratitude owed for this benevolence.
When you look at the map of the world and focus on the middle-east there is a tiny country. And when you spell out its name it extends into the ocean because it is so small and the word Israel does not even fit in the space of its entity. This is the same country that Thomas L. Friedman considers a threat to all of us. This same country who, time and again, offered itself up for sacrifice all in the name of accommodation. This is the same country which endured untold hardships as it attempted to find its place in the deliberations of human survival. This is the same country that extends its hand only to have it slapped because it shouldn’t be here at all. This is the same country that has fought valiantly to maintain its identity not only as a nation born out of the ashes of despair to realize its true redemption. This is the same country that has offered its scientists and technicians and humanitarians for the betterment of humankind through its research and development from irrigation to medicine and mathematics and literature and the arts.
So, Mr. Friedman, and all and whomever you represent, I suggest that you look to history to understand what you have described as a fantasy waiting for the impossible. In your zeal to make sense of the insensitivity that surrounds this tiny bastion of democracy and freedom and acceptance of all, you have neglected to remember from whence we came and how the world makes little effort to hide the contempt. Could it be that we don’t want to face the truth and realize that without Israel there is no future for anyone?
We are a people who believe that “pigs can fly.” We are pragmatists who understand that they can if you put wings on them. Yes, I believe we too can fly – that is who we are – that is what we represent – that is what makes us survivors regardless of your desire for us not to. Perhaps that is why we are at the top of your list.
You just don’t get it and it’s a guarantee that you never will.
In his column titled: “I believe I can fly,” (N.Y. Times, November 14, 2010) the predictable anti-Israel rhetoric remains strong and vibrant. It doesn’t matter that what he writes deals with today with no regard for yesterday. It doesn’t matter that what he suggests is rooted in disdain for a people and their ideals and ideas. It doesn’t matter that he places Israel at the top of his list of distortions neglecting the other more important aspects of human tragedies that are too numerous to mention. What matters to him is that Israel be singled out for public denunciation and disesteem.
He writes about the Prime Minister of Israel, referring to him as “Bibi, “a nickname given to him by friends, not using his formal name, Benjamin Netanyahu. If this does not smack of irreverence, I don’t know what does.
Once again the issue of “settlements” is raised and brought to the front of the issues facing Israel and its neighbors. We have President Obama to thank for that because until he made this a cause for condemnation, it never really was a true issue as it has become. How forgetful we conveniently become when all we have to look back and remember is that at each turn in the long struggle for survival new obstacles are put in the road. New speed bumps are added to the equation bringing us to the undeniable conclusion that accommodation is not the order of the day.
It is ironic that the liberal commentators and the liberal media, claiming to be impartial and unbiased, refuse to listen to their own distortions of truth and fabrications. Liberalism today does not allow for differing opinions. Their mantra has become ensconced in the dogmatic approach to subjects they hold dear.
There was a time when true discourse was part of the American political agenda. There were always extremists on both sides, but there was a respect that enabled people to bring to the forefront their vision of a world of common decency. From the very beginning of our existence as a nation we understood the value of opinions and how they can be instrumental in determining our future. But we also knew that when the dust settled the will of the majority prevailed.
No we see recriminations and distrust that permeate our thinking and attitudes.
We are no longer civil. We no longer continue life content that tomorrow may bring another set of standards. The system of government we designed gives us the opportunity to continue the debate because there are many sides to every discussion. And while we join together in adjusting to the order of things, we still have the ability to make changes through a process called elections.
Conservatives make their point and liberals argue just as forcefully. That is the American way. However, we have become a fragmented society with no room for give and take, no room for maneuvering or compromise. Government has become polarized to the extent that we shout at each other rather than taking a considerate approach.
All this leads me back to the original premise of this article: getting it wrong because of prejudice and bias; disseminating information that is slanted and perverted. Israel has become the Goliath of Biblical proportions. No matter its desire and need to live in peace with its neighbors. At every turn in its existence it has been singled out as a pariah. If only Israel would disappear all would be right with the world. Look at the list of accomplishments of the U.N: The single most discussed issue deals with Israel. On numerous occasions in its sixty-five year history, this body has condemned and demonized this tiny bastion of hope and redemption.
History is replete with lesson after lesson of futile attempts to annihilate Israel and yet we survive. Is there a message here? I believe so. And the lesson is simple and comes straight from Scripture: “Those who curse Israel will themselves be cursed, but those who bless Israel will receive the blessings they so richly deserve.” (Genesis, 12:1-3) And if Scripture is not sufficient to draw any conclusions then perhaps short walks down the lane of history will give you pause to reflect.
To begin, Israel is no saint among all the sinners. It has contributed its share of mistakes and will probably do so in the future. That is because we, like everyone else, are human with human frailties and human fallibilities. But the rest of the world has demonstrated this rush to judgment. The fact that these pronouncements are motivated by fear and intimidation and not by truth surely makes them exercises in futility. Truth is the one fabric in the weave of human existence that remains central to the salvation of civilized society. Without truth there can be no expectation of connection and survival.
Israel stands at the crossroads of civilizations quest for acceptance. It wants to be part of an ever shrinking world. Its citizens are primarily interested in surviving an onslaught of vilification from every corner of the globe. Our own country, which stood by it from the very beginning, seems to be joining in the chorus of damnation starting from the very top. It is not a comfortable situation because we know the value of the Jewish experience in America. We learned from hard work and perseverance that success is not to be taken for granted. We learned, only to well, the meaning of “There arose a Pharaoh who knew not Joseph.” (Exodus, 1:8)
It seems that at every chapter in our history as a people we had to justify our worth and demonstrate over and over again the contributions made to the societies in which we were sent and even fled. And here in the United States these advances only reinforced our belief in the goodness and justice we found and a feeling of gratitude owed for this benevolence.
When you look at the map of the world and focus on the middle-east there is a tiny country. And when you spell out its name it extends into the ocean because it is so small and the word Israel does not even fit in the space of its entity. This is the same country that Thomas L. Friedman considers a threat to all of us. This same country who, time and again, offered itself up for sacrifice all in the name of accommodation. This is the same country which endured untold hardships as it attempted to find its place in the deliberations of human survival. This is the same country that extends its hand only to have it slapped because it shouldn’t be here at all. This is the same country that has fought valiantly to maintain its identity not only as a nation born out of the ashes of despair to realize its true redemption. This is the same country that has offered its scientists and technicians and humanitarians for the betterment of humankind through its research and development from irrigation to medicine and mathematics and literature and the arts.
So, Mr. Friedman, and all and whomever you represent, I suggest that you look to history to understand what you have described as a fantasy waiting for the impossible. In your zeal to make sense of the insensitivity that surrounds this tiny bastion of democracy and freedom and acceptance of all, you have neglected to remember from whence we came and how the world makes little effort to hide the contempt. Could it be that we don’t want to face the truth and realize that without Israel there is no future for anyone?
We are a people who believe that “pigs can fly.” We are pragmatists who understand that they can if you put wings on them. Yes, I believe we too can fly – that is who we are – that is what we represent – that is what makes us survivors regardless of your desire for us not to. Perhaps that is why we are at the top of your list.
You just don’t get it and it’s a guarantee that you never will.
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