A Calling

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

Sometimes when we talk about people choosing faith-based involvement, it is referred to as “a calling.” The term is used to describe the realization that clergy or those in supportive roles are “called” to duty for the purpose of serving God. It is a true reflection of the spiritual aspect of a person’s life incorporating preaching and teaching and personal fulfillment. We are all familiar with the expression “the spirit moves me” and it is that feeling which permeates our lives as we endeavor to express the meaning of faith and its significance.

There are, of course, exceptions. We read about them almost daily. There are those who subvert the very essence of that calling. While it is difficult for us to judge, it is our responsibility to be aware of human fallibility. Certainly not all are guilty and we should not lose faith in our beliefs. On the contrary, we should use this abhorrent behavior to teach us a valuable lesson: Sometimes people are drawn to things that set bad examples, which destroy our spirituality.

The newspapers are filled with the turmoil within the Catholic Church. Needless to say Catholic clergy are not alone is the desecration of human values and moral teachings as described in all Holy writings. And excusing these horrors because of the understanding of human fragilities is unacceptable. There is no excuse. Those who are guilty of these atrocities should be held accountable and punished. Those who protect them should also be put-up for justice because they are as guilty as those who perpetrate these unforgiving abuses against children.

Singling out unsuspecting children is revolting and everyone involved should be punished to the full extent of the law. And there is a higher law that will eventually come into play as time moves on and a different calling requires these people to answer that call for eternal judgment.

However, there are times when mob madness causes untold hardships on unsuspecting adults who get caught-up in this web of disgust and revulsion.

In our own Phoenix Jewish community we have seen this happen. A rabbi is shackled and carted off from the parking lot of his synagogue in front of his wife and others who were there at the time. No warning, no arrest warrant, no identification of those involved. A gun shoved in his face and off he disappears. No knowledge of where he is going or why.

There was a meeting a while ago, in Chandler for invited guests, mostly congregants, and others who were supportive from the very beginning, including me, of this rabbi. An accusation was made by a seventeen-year old teen ager claiming that this rabbi sexually abused her when she was seven-years old. That was ten-years ago.

I am sure all of us living here in the Valley of the Sun read bits and pieces of the experience encountered by the rabbi and his family.

The meeting was necessary, from my perspective, because it gave those in attendance the opportunity to talk to the rabbi and his attorney and hear, as well, from his wife. The summary of his experience would certainly be a best seller in store-bought dime novels. It had chilling aspects, sexual innuendos and intrigue.

One thing that stood-out, in my mind, was the fact, brought out at the meeting, that there was a strong indication that the therapist who was treating this troubled child, may have planted ideas and thoughts in her mind that eventually became, to her, reality. Is it unimaginable? Not really.

We read constantly about situations surfacing and, in fact, there was a very similar incident portrayed on one of the Law and Order programs on television. Books have been written on this subject and classes are given to therapists warning them of the dangers of planting such fabrications into unsuspecting minds. I really don’t know if this is what happened, but the possibility was brought-out in the presentation.

Nothing was done about this supposed incident even though it was reported some two years ago. Evidently it was thought at the time to be unsubstantiated and therefore did not warrant any further participation by the police.

I believe that the notoriety about clergy abuse of children, especially sexual abuse, has created an atmosphere of suspicion and doubt and the only way to alleviate this corruption is to find everyone guilty whether true of not.

Perhaps the police were diligent and perhaps they were not. It is clear to me that this overextending of authority and disregard for facts and circumstance will have a devastating effect on this family for all time. I also believe that he will be completely vindicated but that will not change the attitude of people who will remember the charge but not the exoneration.

In fact, now his congregation has seen fit to request his resignation even though no trial has been held or additional evidence submitted that refutes his claim of innocence. And what happened to “innocent until proven guilty?” I even wonder whether he is receiving any support from the Conservative movement of which he is a member as well as the Jewish Theological Seminary of which he is a graduate.

The clergy who are guilty of undermining the values of Godliness and the sanctity of life have cause damage to the “calling” we have answered and the dedication of so many in the cause of human salvation. These same clergy have created an atmosphere of distrust and suspicion that spills over into the lives of innocent people who want nothing more that answer that call and be true to its message of connection to each other and to God who made the call and witnessed the call being answered.

We must pray that sanity will prevail and our rabbi will be ready, willing, and able to answer that call once more secure in the knowledge that his destiny will forever be joined with our Creator who gave him the will and the understanding to teach and preach and remain a light unto his people.

Age and Indifference

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.


As we get older we start to think about yesterday and maybe yesterday’s yesterday. In fact our thoughts always focus on what was and not what is. That is, until something happens that makes us realize that today is here, the today that we dreamed about yesterday and maybe even dreaded.

We all have dreams. Some of us dream about what was instead of what is. We do this because the present, in some respects, is very difficult to concentrate on. It contains illness and pain and disappointments. Years ago we never thought about all these things because we were immortal, impervious to unpleasant expectations.

Now we are at the ebb. The waters of our life are receding. The tide goes out and does not return. The richness of the flow has dried-up. We look in the mirror and we see a different person, a person we do not recognize. We see a person who has lost the glow, the spark that ignited a flame of desire and fulfillment.

I am reminded of something I received that was posted on a doctor’s office wall:

Said the little boy,
“Sometimes I drop my spoon.”
Said the old man,
“Sometimes I do that too.”
The little boy whispered,
“I sometimes wet my pants.”
“I do that too,” laughed the old man.
Said the little boy, “I often cry.”
Sadly the old man nodded and said,
“So do I.”
But worst of all said the little boy,
“It seems that grown-ups don’t pay attention to me.”
With that he felt the warmth of the wrinkled old hand,
“I know what you mean,” said the old man.
A tear and a smile were seen upon each other’s face.

How sad that when we get older it really is as though we are back once more to our youth. The cycle is never-ending. We start in life being dependent and we somehow find ourselves again relying on others.

There is an old Yiddish folk saying: Parents once taught their children to talk; today children teach their parents to be quiet. Where is the patience we showed when our children required that of us and now as we age deserve the same consideration? No longer are we the wise ones. Now we are the inconvenient ones. No longer are we the givers. Now we are the takers. And there-in lies the resentment.

Have you noticed that that feeling resonates with caregivers as well? Have you noticed the impatience attendants show the infirmed of advanced age? It is as though they should not be there at all. Life is over for them. Why are they such a burden?

I read a poem written by and older person who died in a geriatric ward of a hospital. It was supplied to me by a good friend, a doctor, with whom I have had many discussions about faith and healing and pain. Dr. Jerald Altman is a kind man, a feeling person who sincerely applies his craft to relieving the hurt and discomfort of those afflicted with the agony of illness. In his honor I repeat excerpts of that poem:

See Me

What do you see, nurses what do you see?
Are you thinking, when you look at me-
A crabby old woman, not very wise,
Uncertain of habit, with far-away eyes,
Who dribbles her food and makes no reply,
When you say in a loud voice – “I do wish you’d try.”

Is what you’re thinking, is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse, you’re looking at ME…
I’ll tell you who I am, as I sit here so still;
As I rise at your bidding, as I eat at your will.

I’m a small child of ten with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters, who love one another,
A young girl of sixteen with wings on her feet,
Dreaming that soon now a lover she’ll meet;
A bride soon at twenty-my heart gives a leap,
Remembering the vows that I promised to keep;
At twenty-five now I have young of my own,
Who need me to build a secure, happy home;
A woman of thirty, my young now grow fast,
Bound to each other with ties that should last;
At forty, my young sons have grown and are gone,
But my man’s beside me to see I don’t mourn;
At fifty once more babies play ‘round my knee,
Again we know children, my loved one and me.

Dark days are upon me, my husband is dead,
I look at the future, I shudder with dread,
For my young are all rearing young of their own,
And I think of the years and the love that I’ve known;
I’m an old woman now and nature is cruel-
‘Tis her jest to make old age look like a fool.

I remember the joys, I remember the pain,
And I’m loving and living life over again,
I think of the years, all too few-gone too fast,
And accept the stark fact that nothing can last-
So I open your eyes, nurses, open and see,
Not a crabby old woman, look closer, nurses – see ME!

Yes, age can be daunting and frightening. It can be all these things and more because we understand that life goes on and we are not going to be part of it anymore. But then we should always remember the Psalmist’s admonition to say to God: “Do not forget me, God, until I have shouted of Your strength to the next generation.”

This should be our concentration: To be grateful for the past, appreciative of the present, and ever thankful that we have had a part in determining the future. We have witnessed offense and forgiveness, loneliness and love, pain and compassion, defeat and victory. Who could ask for anything more? We certainly don’t want anything less.