The Agony of Life

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

How time flies! It is as if we were standing on this spot at this time just a short time ago. As we get older time seems to pass even quicker. In one instant we were learning to walk and talk and in the next we are finding it difficult to even understand what was let alone anticipate what will be.

The High Holidays will soon be here and with them thoughts of reconciliation and introspection. At this time we begin to understand the need for us to re-evaluate our lives; the deeds and misdeeds of the past year. At this time we begin to understand that fulfillment is achieved by believing that our destiny is determined by our comprehension of the value of life. At this time we begin to understand that loneliness can be overcome with love; that offense is overcome by forgiveness; that the joys we experience should be accompanied by gratitude.

The High Holidays can and should be a time for us to consider that we are not alone in the struggle of life. We have a partner. God is our partner. Sometimes in our despair we think that no one cares, especially God and we question the very existence of our Creator because of our pain. We cry out for answers never truly understanding that God is right here, right by our side, and at times even carrying us in His arms to rest our weary feet from the sad parts of our journey.

Margaret Fishback Powers wrote an essay titled “Footprints.” In it she writes of a dream she had. She was walking along the beach with her God. As she walked scenes of her life flashed in front of her. And with each step she took she saw two sets of footprints in the sand, one belonging to her and the other belonging to God. Then as the last scene of her life flashed she noticed only one set of footprints. She thought of this as the lowest and saddest time of her life.

She was so troubled and began to question God by reminding Him that He had promised to be with her all the way, all during her journey of life. She continued to question as to whether God had remembered His promise and that during her most troublesome time she noticed there was only one set of footprints in the sand. Her faith seemed to be shattered and she questioned even more by asking why during her moist difficult time was God not beside her, walking with her.

Then she continues her story but explaining what all of us should know but tend to forget: That there is only one set of footprints because at the time of our suffering, the time of great despair, it is then that God carries us. This is why we may see only one set of footprints.

The High Holidays afford us the opportunity to be thankful while we are reliving what was and contemplating what will be. Now we are at a juncture in the road of our journey
that allows us to consider the gratitude we need to speak not only to God but to our family and friends. There are times when we feel that we are alone. There are times when we seem to forget that with an outstretched hand we are able to touch another hand.

So here we are at this time in our lives. A time set aside by design to enable us to reconnoiter, to stop time and remind ourselves that we are part of a sacred undertaking: A pilgrimage in search of completion. Though we cannot fully comprehend the essence of our being we still accept life as a gift from God.

Our lives are filled with so many occasions. There is birth, marriage, sickness, health, weakness, strength, victory and defeat. There is death, but there is also eternal life. All these make up what we refer to as the journey of life. We celebrate and we mourn, we laugh and we cry. And through all of these encounters we should still remember to thank God for allowing us the opportunity to make this journey, to experience the agonies and the ecstasies.

Perhaps the true meaning of the High Holiday season can best be summed up by something a friend of mine wrote, one of many of his writings and is a translation from the Book of Proverbs. His name is Danny Siegel. A man of virtue and understanding, of charity and compassion who I am privileged to know and respect:

If you will always assume
the person sitting next to you is the messiah
waiting for some human kindness.
You will soon learn to weigh your words
and watch your hands.
And if he so chooses not to reveal himself
in your time,
it will not matter.