Ho Do I Love Thee

Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D.

With this question Elizabeth Barrett Browning begins her poem of affection and devotion.. It is a beautiful poem filled with an enduring feeling of love and an abiding hope for an eternal liaison.

I think of this poem each year as Spring approaches. I think about brides and grooms feeling this message of endearment and passion. And I guess it is best described as I continue reading the poem: “I love thee with the breath, smiles, tears of all my life.”

We wonder what is expected of us as we begin a life together. How do we get close to a thought, an idea of what this time really means? We will learn that forgiveness, mercy and humility will eventually enable us to be one. But the reality is that we can only imagine these things. We will, in time, understand the secrets involved in a relationship that will survive for eternity.

And how does our understanding of God fit into all of this? We try to discern that something, someone, is responsible for all that we see before us – a baby, a tree, a life of dreams. There are bad things as well for we know that the next chapter in the journey of life we are embarking upon is not always what dreams are made of.

So here we are at the Springtime of our lives. It is a beautiful time. There are holidays such as Passover and Easter, both designed to help us understand the message of renewal. And that is exactly what we will endeavor to accomplish as we renew our lives with a commitment of oneness.

Birth is our beginning. And our concentration should be on the span of time called life because that is the journey we embark upon as we wish for better tomorrows. The thrills of life can be found in that experience and we should not dwell on anything else. Life is to live and we should include in our promise of love the pledge to enjoy life as it was intended – with each other and family and friends.

The poet continues: “I love thee with all the passion put to use in my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith.” The message is quite simple: We need to be thankful for all the tomorrows as we remember the past.

It doesn’t matter whether we understand the meaning of God. We all have different ideas. But we also know that God is faith and hope and strength and calm. These feelings are the same feelings we bring to each other as we begin that journey, that new journey into unchartered waters. And we feel safe because we know that God is there to help and guide and even cheer as we discover each other and the world around us.

How do I love thee is a message of forgiveness because none of us is perfect. It encourages us to pardon each other for human failings. It allows us to excuse our shortcomings because sometimes we forget our pledge to each other.

Spring is in the air and with it a feeling of anticipation. It is a time of preparation. And as the Prophets declared: “It is an opportunity to gain strength so that we will be like a garden wealthy with water, a spring of water, whose waters will not fail.” That is the true essence of love and togetherness and growth as a couple.